Bard's Getting Silly

What? Another Writing blog? 

[wretcheddthing]

everybody give it up for this brand of green. round of applause for most under appreciated green

[bardsgettingsilly]

My favorite color!!

[mathsbian]

The soup beans have hit the crockpot

[mathsbian]

A second protein has hit the crockpot.

[mathsbian]

The ham and beans were delicious. Served alongside cornbread and brussel sprouts. My partner makes such delicious food.

[bardsgettingsilly]

So you get a pound of pinto beans and a pound of a lean ham steak and let the beans soak overnight. The ham MUST have a bone :)

Drain your beans and get to chopping: one whole onion, as much garlic as you want, and the ham steak. Drop everything in a crockpot.

Boil six cups of broth just til it’s boiling and while the water is warming up season everything with your heart. I used: Salt, pepper, paprika, coriander, parsley, thyme, oregano, and a bit of marjoram.

Put the crockpot on low and wait for about 6 hours. At the beginning of that sixth hour start your cornbread!

Cost of a pound of beans is about a dollar, the ham steak was the most expensive at $5. An onion runs for about .75 and a bulb of garlic for .85 (and using a whole bulb is excessive, bag your extra garlic in the peel) I think this will feed us for about 3 days? It only cost roughly $8 and it’s Very tasty and very filling, I recommend y’all try my soup beans!

[bardsgettingsilly]

An anonymous apology is just as cowardly and insulting as your anonymous bullying. Anonymity is a useful tool, use it responsibly and with respect, and you can make life for others (not just yourself) better.

[bardsgettingsilly]

One of my favorite characters I’ve played: Razzle Dazzle!

Razzle was born alongside 9 identical sisters, all from arcane sarcophagi built specially for creating the manner of clone that the original wanted. She doesn’t think too much about Razzle Prime, as she’s presumed either dead from her chaotic escape or the impressive curse laid upon her very soul. Among her sisters she was the most mischievous— playing arcane pranks, stealing their possessions right off their person, or even laying clever traps made of glass and glitter for any of the 10 unlucky enough to come across her path. She was content with her life waiting to be selected to become the new Razzle Dazzle; but there was another, more serious Razzle that wanted revenge against the Sorceress that made them and any of the sisters that tried to stop her.

[apolladay]

Before you are two magic buttons. Button A: you will never have to clean your kitchen again (dishes are automatically done; floor swept and mopped; etc). Button B: you will never have to clean your bathroom again (toilet & sink & tub/shower cleaned and sanitized; etc) Which button do you push?

A

B

Voting ended onJun 3

[heliophile-oxon]

So many comments, many of them wise and all of them heartfelt, and yet nobody has thought to add ...

the fridge-freezer is in the kitchen. Not only are there dishes every day, not only are there food preparation surfaces of various kinds every day, not only are there crumbs and odds and ends that fall on the floor every day ... but the fridge-freezer is in the kitchen. The oven is in the kitchen, the food cupboards are in the kitchen, and above all THE KITCHEN BIN IS IN THE KITCHEN.

I mean, it's not like the bathroom is all sweetness and light, but seriously! Who in their right mind is choosing the bathroom?!?!?!?

Ils sont fous, ces Romains tumblrains.

[sufficientlylargen]

Having a magically-self-cleaning bathroom would be cool, but it wouldn't dramatically change my lifestyle.

If I could cook or bake whatever the hell I wanted, knowing that all my pots and mixing bowls and baking sheets would just zap themselves clean when I finished? If I knew that I could spill batter or grease inside the oven or burn things onto baking racks and it would just go away? I would be making delicious shit constantly.

[earhartsease]

from @baddywronglegs

#You can piss in the kitchen sink but you can't make lasagna in the shower

@theshitpostcalligrapher this one deserves to be writ large

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

yeag.....

[bardsgettingsilly]

Having ADHD and being a kitchen beast of sorts makes for an embarrassing sight of a sink; but if my illness could be mitigated by an enchanted kitchen I’d be writing some of this shit down and experimenting. Imagine the cookbooks that would come out if people could manage their cooking skills in the time it took them to apply their cleaning skills.

[sugar-petals]

as an author who did lots of fantasy genre research don't get me started on how much time goes into nature/plants (!) animals food and architecture

[bardsgettingsilly]

I recently had to add a bajillion new towns, villages, rivers, and roads to HALF of a continent because I started thinking about how much grain it takes to feed an ox. Not to mention spending three days making up a new dragon that’s gonna be a problem in the ecosystem. How about days of the week? What YEAR is it? Personally I’m gonna have to compete with science fiction authors all the time since I dabble in cryoarks and cyborgs from time to time.

[munchy-k]

ive always rly liked the idea of a member of a group of adventurers having what everyone assumes is very well trained hawk and then at the end of their journey its casually revealed that thats actually just his buddy whos a shapeshifter and just rly likes being a hawk

[munchy-k]

the guy also like thinks everyone knows bc he never tries to hide the fact that the hawk is a person but everyone assumes hes always just joking. like the others being like "damn its crazy how he knows exactly what you want him to do its like he knows english or something." and the guy is just like "well yeah thats his first language so ofc he's fluent??" and they all go "haha good one" and move on, leaving him confused

[munchy-k]

they just think hes a quirky guy that really loves his pet and says things like "the 9 of us" even tho there are clearly only 8 people! he just cares about the bird so much he counts it as a group member haha !

[mathsbian]

@bardsgettingsilly your faceless Druid would do this hawk thing wouldn’t he.

[bardsgettingsilly]

This is Node of Nature, Node, Them, That beast over there in it’s true form.

They’re a Druid who long ago lost their identity through learning to wild shape, and now have no idea who they are. This person forgot their name, their appearance, and their history— but this identity suits them well, as they spend most of their time in the form of a cloud, an animal, or a tree.

Node is a character I’ve wanted to play for a while, but the one time I tried, they got killed, holy math-d back to life, and exposed by the dmpc the MOMENT they tried to join the party. Anyone wanna let me sneak around their game as a lil critter?

[bardsgettingsilly]

We know what you did to Anni

This a Smooth Criminal reference? Idk if I know anyone named Anni, and I do my best to be kind and respectful to people.

[pyrobchilling]

Oh shit I just realized I can post the "Gaussian Blur Wizard That Gaussian Blurs You" here

[transgendercyborg-deactivated20]

[zzoupz]

his friend "Motion Blur Mage That Motion Blurs You"

[blastovkatamarinecromancy]

Their long suffering associate, the "Sharpen Cleric that Sharpens you (badly)"

[artastic-foe]

Nooo!!! What have you all unleashed upon us!?!

[l4byr1nthz1]

dont forget the chromatic abberation warlock that chromatically abberates you

[vinnybox]

may I add Mystic Mosiac who turns your quality waaaaaaay down

[theo-window]

What did he do to deserve this

[rain-droplet]

punished by the council

[bardsgettingsilly]

Him? Oh that used to be the Contrast Cleric. He thought he could usurp the power of the I Mage Council and what seems excessive is necessary for his once staggering power.

[bardsgettingsilly]

Oh! So updates on the writing:

- I’m not very good at it

- I’m drafting a fanfic instead of my novel

- I have all the time in the world to work on it

It’s a Dragonball fanfic about my OC Time Patroller from Xenoverse 2. Idk how popular that game is around here, but I play on ps4 as a Saiyan named Barjorm— who I’m writing fanfic about. Don’t worry, I’ll post chapters and pictures here; that is if you like sci-fi adventure stories and bad pics taken in game.

[bardsgettingsilly]

Hey guys! Been here a while and have been giggling about the nonbinary Jakey stuff. Not bc I’m trans exclusionary or anything like that— but because I’m literally him. My name is Bard, by the way.

So why am I crawling out of the woodwork on this now? After years of you fuckers wishing my death, the validity of my queerness has come into question. So let me answer it for you.

I present as masc bc I don’t like how I look femme. That’s literally it. I have a weak chin and a strong set of shoulders, so if I were to shave and put on a dress I wouldn’t like how I look. Not a dysphoria thing, not getting oppressed. Anyone that has anything to say about me wearing a skirt, eyeliner, or nail polish when the urge strikes me has to build up the courage to say it to my big ass.

Is that not good enough? Alright. I generally don’t consider myself male or female, but sometimes I identify more as a Demi male. Technically that makes me some kinda bi-gender, gender-fluid, or two spirit label? I would LOVE if I had a good word for how my gender feels, but I honestly can’t be bothered to look more into it when non binary perfectly describes my experience. I don’t have a gender that is within the binary, ergo, non-binary.

Still not convinced? Okay, at this point, I don’t give a fuck. Everyone in the world calls me a man, a guy, or him; already— and guess what? It still counts. I cannot be fucked with the opinion of people that have made it clear that they don’t like me. So what? I’m goddamn amazing for the most part, and it reeks of jealousy. Furthermore, you don’t like me because you don’t like the things my partner talks about online? Grow the fuck up, go outside. Two fucking years of getting groups together to be smarmy and toxic online? to someone you’ve never met? Do better than that! You truly lack hatred if you can’t manage to find me on all the tagged posts and send ME hate asks. Cmon, I haven’t blocked you yet. I bet you lack imagination like all the others I’ve seen, given the fact that you can’t think of something else to do ON THE INTERNET for two whole years.

That’s all I wanted to say about it, I probably won’t be posting often, but if you plan on interacting with me know that I’m ACTUALLY Nonbinary Jakey. I hope you like my writing if I ever get around to posting it.

Tldr; I’m Nonbinary Jakey, and have been watching the whole time… I’m unimpressed.

[mathsbian]

Stop Killing Games

Stop Killing Games is an online EU campaign aimed at stopping the destruction of existing games that people already purchased, and enforcing end-of-life plans for games that are being “sunset”.

Signatures have ground to a halt.

Link to this page and a video about the situation to follow.

[mathsbian]

Stop Killing Games

[froyocookie34-deactivated202601]

"Sea Spire" by nugatorysheep Made by @Aggravating-Fix181

[bardsgettingsilly]

Oh right! It’s pride! Idk if I’m out here, but everyone should know that I’m queer as fuck.

Non-binary as far as I know, and Pansexual! I also count Polyamory as a queer identity for me.

So yeah! If you had trepidation over interacting with me because I seem like a cis straight man, don’t worry, I’m not! But if you are worried I’m gonna flirt with you? As long as you can consent, be afraid.

[bardsgettingsilly]

So I have come to the realization that the Dark Souls games all have a “good ending” and in every single one the best option is to let the lights go out and see what’s created next.

In Dark Souls, you’re tasked with linking the first flame and sustaining the light, allowing the current world to persevere. Once you defeat the Four Kings to bring their soul to a door what needs them and others to open, you meet Kaathe, who tells you that you are able to bring a new age— an age of Dark. He’s definitely lying to you in saying that the Dark would be a comfortable change, because it would essentially be the end. But look around Lordran! The place is ruined at every turn, dying and grief stricken. In my opinion the best bet would be to shine light on another land.

Then we go to Drangleic in Dark Souls 2. Not quite as ruined, but the curse that haunted your life and death in Dark Souls is also affecting this land. When it comes to the final battle against the Dark in Drangleic, which is actively fighting to gain control of this world, you’re faced with the same choice again! Except this time, the flames are linked by a Throne, and it becomes clear that you must fight for the hollows to become their king. Find them a new way to exist which isn’t reliant on how much flame one can get to.

Then we see the end of things in the third game. Dark Souls 3 presents the flame, the light and comfort that come with it, and the dark- a new start for a world at its death throes. Eventually our final undead will have a third choice as well, one to become Lord of Hollows in Lothric as well! The flame of man can finally be extinguished in favor of an age of Hollows.

It might just be me and my want for a continuation for a good story, but these games culminate into a love letter to the players. I love the idea of continually linking the flame, until the world has become a mass of ash and suffering as much as the next guy, but it didn’t work too well for Lothric.

[diegosouzalions]

STEVEN UNIVERSE RETURNED!!

[bardsgettingsilly]

They dressed him like a damn Gurren Lagann character by the end, how did nobody believe me??

[bardsgettingsilly]

So I picked up this Norse Magic book from The Half Price and I’m unsure about it so far. Mostly because I came across an entry about Loki, and it seemed to imply he’s nothing if not a trickster. I don’t think that’s accurate, having a relationship with Odin/Loki, myself, I think there’s much more to it.

Loki is involved with Asgard on most levels. He’s the reason for the quirks of the most legendary weapons, he’s the reason Jotunheim and Asgard have a pretty decent wall between them, and with evidence of his friendly relationship with Freyja— I wouldn’t be surprised to find out he brokered peace between the Vanir and the Aesir.

His reputation as a trickster isn’t unwarranted, however: as Loki *did* orchestrate the death of Baldr. Noting that, why isn’t Odin considered a trickster of equal footing? When Loki was punished, Odin quite creatively left Loki in a similar position- with two dead sons and a lifetime of pain from it.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this, but Odin once said that if he gets a drink then Loki must get the same. They are considered blood brothers from some story we don’t know about? It seems like Loki gets a Satan treatment when really he’s more like a casual Odin. The mediator between the Everyman and the *heavy* ritual of his brother. Maybe that’s the essence of Loki, making his way into my post that means little and has no conclusion.