oh good lord

[redwing]

whenever someone types bucky’s name as “borky” i think of a tiny lil dog going bork bork bork

[redwing]

him go Bork!

[transfagrified-in-the-void]

Here is a free pdf of the players handbook

Here is a free pdf of xanathars guide to everything

Here is a free pdf to monsters manual

Here is a free pdf to tashas cauldron of everything

Here is a free pdf to dungeon master’s guide

Here is a free pdf to volo’s guide to monsters

Here is a free pdf of mordenkainen’s tomb of foes

For all your dnd purposes

[gumi-megpoidd]

Here's a site that has literally every official (and most UA) dnd stuff

including the books and campaigns

and you can add homebrew

[transfagrified-in-the-void]

Hey rb this!!!

[suriandtaal]

@chitratxt​

[seawaterstar]

i draw things sometimes, mostly pertaining to my dnd characters

she’s a bard with a noble background, so here’s a portrait of her and her parents pre-campaign

[three-dogs-in-a-trenchcoat]

2020 will be a good year

Cause it's two natural 20s and that means whatever you'll do, you'll do with success

[charmandhex]

Go forth and roll with advantage.

[thegmsighs]

*turns to bard* so what is it you bring to the group?

[writing-prompt-s]

You, a pest control specialist, are hired to take care of a bat problem. What you find though, is a group of vampires.

[bardy-hardy]

Hmmmm

[bogleech]

A witch is a magic user with more focus on medicine and the body and a wizard is a magic user with more focus on like physics and academia. I don’t know what dingus made up one day that they’re just the 2 magic genders, that sounds stupid

[go-lurk]

witches = magic doctors, wizards = magic researchers, artificers = magic engineers, alchemists = magic chemists, sorcerers = magic youtubers

[professorsparklepants]

What about warlocks?

[anonymousalchemist]

[deep, deep, deep sigh] 

magic sugar babies 

[phlurp]

My friend claimed he could play Flight of the Bumblebee and accompany himself. Then he did this.

[bookshelfpeppermint]

ITS BACK

[my-lil-spot]

im crying

[battleshipping]

THIS IS THE BEST THING IVE EVER SEEN

[bardy-hardy]

Thorok: What the fuck is Everclear?

[bardy-hardy]

Torjborn: I do enjoy getting pegged

[siderealsandman]

the biggest lie, i think, the internet perpetuates about D&D is that a skinny little twink of a bard just needs to roll a nat 20 to seduce a dragon

like a dragon…a creature with more wealth and power than any other creature on the planet…a creature who is easily an 11/10 when they deign to take humanoid form…would look at your skinny little 8 STR half-elf Bard whose own father doesn’t even love them and go…yeah I’d like to fuck that

[t-stride]

Counterpoint, my good man:

Dragons fuck

[siderealsandman]

Dragons fuck, clearly, but not just any joe blow schmoe with a big Charisma stat. If I’m Joseph J Dragon sitting on a small hill of gold and jewels I’m not gonna waste my time boning every monsterfucking tiefling twink with a lyre. I would have standards.

[abadmeanmess]

Counter-counterpoint: dragons are SUPER horny

[siderealsandman]

Counter-counter-counterpoint: even if dragons are SUPER horny they’ve got better prospects than spindly little bards!!!! They could be off fucking cloud giants or beholders or planetars!!!! They could be having sex with kraken in the middle of the ocean or fire giants in the mouth of an erupting volcano! 

There is a wealth of sexual excess and opportunity available to dragons; so much that they do not need to be slumming it with an adventurer who hasn’t washed his ass in a month and a half and is probably covered in kobold blood by the time they get to the dragon’s lair! 

Seriously!!! 

I don’t care how many times you cast Charm Monster, the Elder Dragon who has probably slept with more princesses than there are princedoms is not going to bite! When you have bedded the most beautiful mortals on the Prime Material Plane on a pile of gold and jewelry you are not gonna be looking twice at any MOTHERFUCKEr who can’t at least True Polymorph to make things interesting 

[ollies-outies]

triple-counterpoint:

you’re right but please shut up you are actively ruining my 10 strength half-elf twink bard’s sexual prospects with this post

[gothvegas]

OP is right and they should say it

[mankillercalledbunny]

Actually… 

As we can see from this most excellent chart, dragons can and will fuck anything. Even humans do not compare. The only species that can match dragons for horny-ness is, in fact, nymphs. 

Therefore your twinky-ass lil bard has as good a chance as anyone. Go forth and thot your way through your DM’s carefully planned Big Bad encounter and 

fuck the dragon. 

[roachpatrol]

@splickedylit

[probablybadrpgideas]

Have your players roll very hard perception checks every 10 minutes. When someone finally succeeds, that’s when you reveal that the big bad has been stood 5ft to the right of the party for the whole adventure.

[canadian-kazoo-god]

op change your name

[dreaming-jaybird]

my next D&D character is going to be a bard that only wears these shorts

[probablybadrpgideas]

Refluff all “Power Word” spells as just swearing at the enemy so vigorously that they run away/go blind/die.

[scholarsscribbles]

Refluff all “power word” spells as just yelling shakesperean insults at the enemy until they run away/go blind/die because some of those are just so vicious

[scholarsscribbles]

…damn it now I need to go make Shakespeare as a d&d character. Bill the Bard anyone?

[amiplayingright]

Misread this as Build a Bard and I need an excuse to make this an in-game shop

[scholarsscribbles]

Bill the Bard who runs Build a Bard coming right up!

[probablybadrpgideas]

Call your DM “daddy” to throw em off

[yourplayersaidwhat]

“If I die, my next character’s going to be a bard.”

— The ultimate threat from player to dm

[loafed-beans-deactivated2020082]

When the whole squad is in on your shitposting shenanigans 

[melthehoneybee]

My aesthetic tbh

[skyheartstar13]

[The band cycling on a large multi-person bicycle plays “The Entertainer” as they ride.]