BaronTristan's Cat Catastrophe

What It Says On The Tin. You should probably know that I will occasionally post things with varying degrees of NSFW. It's all in good fun, though.

[pokeween]

im actually fucking crying right now

[dragirlinstall]

taking my gamer dog out for a walkthrough

[revawo]

Today marks the anniversary of our lord and savior Cockwaffle ;3

[prokopetz]

Predictions for Dungeons & Dragons under Hasbro's management in the coming years:

Uma Musume style horsegirls introduced to the Forgotten Realms; setting's lore revised so that they've always been there.

Advancement rules now stipulate per-session XP bonus based on lifetime D&D Beyond purchase history.

Compendium of exclusive feat trees for specific gender and sexual identities. Bisexuality receives no feats of its own, being mechanically implemented as "half gay"; the resulting synergies are disgusting.

Editorial error in revised Dungeon Master's Guide accidentally refers to Dungeon Masters as Hasbro's employees.

"Noble savage" coding of barbarian class walked back, refocused on European folkloric touchstones such as the Ulster Cycle; all barbarian characters become Irish stereotypes.

AI-based DM service trained exclusively on work of Ed Greenwood launched; withdrawn a week later citing "guiderail issues".

Expanded discussion of navigating player expectations frames "not showing up at all" as a valid playstyle.

Dragon-blooded sorcerer subclass revised to state that one of the character's ancestors was "very good friends" with a dragon.

[beezii]

mina eating a single popcorn

[fairweatheralways]

[ode-on-a-grecian-butt]

[tealesbian]

gay people: wave and fly the rainbow flag during pride month

cishets: UMMMMMM wHeReS tHe StRaIgHt PrIdE fLaG???????????

me, a lesbian, here to bring you hets some good news: here’s your flag!

[tealesbian]

i forgot that heterosexuals have not one but TWO pride flags! here’s the second:

[slysfreespeechspace]

What you are doing here is exactly what you don’t want done to you: stereotyping people based on their sexual orientation. Way to be just like the people you hate. Congratulations, you too can be a bigot and an asshole.

[contagiousiridescence]

someone’s not having a good kia summer sales event

[krumparrian-portfolio]

Mina the Hollower, mousey fanart!

[ratsquinks]

ebi blasting me with her gay laserbeam

[nowakapi]

cute mouse game

[5050mixup-deactivated20210505]

reblog if you know what it did

[tariqah]

Americans be like: My grandpa 😠😠😠 served in the Korean War 😠😠😠 and killed 9 people 😠😠😠 to fund his college degree in clownery 😠😠😠 Respect him or leave the country 😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬

[username00000000001-blog]

That’s a super light story huh? My great grandfather got killed in action from a land mine to protect this country. If you don’t wanna respect the history or stand for a national anthem😁then leave to your peaceful home and fuck right off

[butchflirt]

How did your great grandpa stepping on a landmine protect this country

[zanabism-deactivated20200529]

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[stantler]

Happy Memorial Day

[chongoblog]

It’s fun to use contractions inappropriately, but it’s hard to explain why that’s

[lunarthesugarglider]

thats a common interest we've

[chongoblog]

Yeah, but people get annoyed by it, like when you throw soda cans in the trash can’t the recycle bin

[andwhatexcellentboiledpotatoes]

I am so sick and tired of having to charge stuff every day of my miserable life!! My phone, my watch, my headphones, my vibrator, my backup vibrator, my emergency vibrator, the ancient cursed amulet of darkness that whispers to me....it's too much!!!

[syzygynephile]

Me, trying to impress my date with a display of my boundless humility: I would like to order one single, solitary crumb.

Waitress taking my order: Such arrogance! Not only do you presume to boast under the guise of being humble, but your order employs the most decadent of linguistic excesses - the tautology!

My date, who until recently thought "tautology" referred to the study of tensile strengths and upon learning her mistake compensated by reading through its Wikipedia article: That would be more correctly identified as a "pleonasm".

The editor I hired to curate my posts who styles himself as a sort of scheming court advisor: My liege, this one is getting away from us. The punchline loses much of its impact when the rest of the joke is derailed by this increasingly self-indulgent meta humour. Were it up to me, your Grace, which of course it is not, I would cut the others and leave myself as the only supporting character. You need noone else, Your Majesty...

My card: Declines

[lesbx]

new high stakes extreme sport i invented i call it chancellor ocato darts