[teenagerposts]

Me: oh thats cute

*checks price tag*

Me: no its not

[teenagerposts]

jesus: mom i told you i didn't want a big party

mary: THE WHOLE WORLD WILL CELEBRATE EVERY YEAR

[mysimpsonsblogisgreaterthanyours]

[deibuchan-oldblog-deactivated20]

[britishpike]

I’VE WAITED 8734 YEARS FOR THIS GIFSET

[moonkiip]

IT TOOK ME 11 YEARS TO REALIZE HE WAS SAYING “TABLE FOR HOW MANY”

[kate-waydrug]

WAIT WHAT

[spurdo-spaerde]

OMG ITS BEEN DISCOVERED

[fandomlife-confessions]

[weirdgirlvampire]

i am LOVING the Twilight Renaissance 

[shmoobeardraws]

so i was thinking, what if in Mile’s universe, MJ was actually just Zendaya 

[protectwoc]

this is so fucking funny

[997]

[teenagerposts]

me: hello darkness my old friend

darkness: do i know u

[teenagerposts]

kid: dad whats a 69

dad: well son, a 69 is when two people who love each other very much get together with a 6 and a 9 and a 5 6 7 8 [spotlight turns on] [dad breaks into jazz number]

[weevildead]

i eat 15 apples for breakfast then drive myself to the hospital just to watch the doctors get blasted backward into the drywall bc they cant withstand my aura

[rockdoveking]

cant get sentences like this anywhere else

[petitepluume]

I did a thing.

[my-darling-boy]

I was going to rewatch 1931 Dracula again tonight and just as I turned it on a BAT started flying around at my window and wouldn’t go away and I’ve never seen a bat at my house before and let me tell you I’ve been so gay touched starved this quarantine I was about ready to risk letting a wild bat in my room if it meant it could possibly be one tall, Sexy vampire

[my-darling-boy]

Ah rabies

[my-darling-boy]

But what if the bat was from my secret gay vampire admirer

[roboco-san]

what really gets me about ace-attorney-sexy-clown.gif is the suspender snap. that has to hurt. why is she doing that

[good-ol-ben-kenobi]

OK...... WHAT?

[roboco-san]

[de-sterren-nacht]

oh! those arent her real tits, theyre balloons! theres a gif of her tits popping when you catch her in a lie

[roboco-san]

holy shit

[hawwwlucha]

isn't she a murderer in that case she's in?

[smutav]

[liquid-geodes]

Bitch what the fuck-

[skaiandestiny]

That’s not even her real hair.

[skiplo-wave]

Same energy 

[demonius-darkblade]

its weird to think horses were ever ‘prey animals’ because what fucking predator looks at a 8 foot tall ENORMOUS beast with pitch black devils eyes, terrifying teeth and extremely powerful legs and think ‘yeah lets go attack that one’

[degenerarchy]

well moose are still prey animals so

[demonius-darkblade]

thats fucked up, a moose is like a horse with extra weapons

[gerbildine]

Would you rather they be predators

[demonius-darkblade]

SHIT SHIT SHIT IM SO SORRY

[academicssay]

[coughloop]

[meladoodle]

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

[firelorcl]

a dentist

[turkeyimportedfrommassachusetts]

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police