Im a Black Saxophone

[the-retired-tuba-jesus]

my opinions on the instruments since you guys are asking (reblog and add yours!!1!)

french horn: honestly so pure. i always think of Dvorak’s 9th when i hear them and u g h y e a s

tuba: my bias here should be obvious

euphonium / baritone: honestly they’re so pretty and cute and nice to listen to. basically improved versions of tubas (sorry @me)

flute: pretty but anyone who can play them is clearly dabbling in dark magic

mellophone: i haven’t met one but i really like their sound. its so nice and… not to be redundant but mellow

trumpet: tbh i could listen to trumpets all day. even beginning players sound amazing to me

trombone: i always listen to the trombones when i’m confused on my part, so they’re sort of my anchor. thanks frens 

piccolo: similar to flutes but the notes are even prettier and the players are using even more dark magic

saxophone: honestly saxophones=awesome jazz to me, and i love jazz, so 

clarinet: they sound like the ethereal wood fairy version of flutes (im not sure why i think this). there’s a really good clarinet player at our school so i always think of their solos when clarinets get brought up

oboe: like clarinets but more flute and less wood fairy

bassoon: oboes but stronger

percussion: thank you kind friends for keeping the beat when i am too lazy to count

piano: probably the very purest musical insturment

viola: like with french horns i always think of Dvorak and how awesome y'all’s parts are in his stuff

violin: amazing but also definitely dark magic

cello: i live to listen to cello solos. (also just Dvorak in general, but the two are intertwined)

bass: you’re the string version of me. i respect you

tl;dr I REALLY LIKE CLASSICAL MUSIC

[basseclarinetjesus-blog]

Tenor, Alto, Bari Sax, and Bass Clarinet: Damn, we’ll get ‘em next time fellas

[onceiwashere]

i cant believe its daylight savings time and i havent seen the “hello its me your cousin oskaar from iceland” video on my dash yet you are all slackers

[onceiwashere]

i guess i have to do all the work around here dont i

[irosl6]

Reblog this with the last song you listened and replace the last word with “Jim”

-nothing without Jim-

[spydertrans-deactivated20210911]

Next to Jim

[aridan-avison-deactivated201805]

Everything She Jims

[youtubershavinglotsofsex-blog]

Dark Jim @xxxamerican-psychoxxx

[wastelandcatartist]

Don’t You Ever Forget About Jim

[anothermarkiplierfan]

How do you jim?

[plexsxntly-sweet-memories-deact]

Jim

[maybe-aliens-deactivated2023012]

Dancing Jim

[plutoandpolaris]

Take me Jim

[galacticmercy-deactivated202005]

Written in the Jims

[space-croww-blog]

Killer Jim

[tycr0by-deactivated20200429]

Billie Jim

[adorkwithhats]

Never gonna give you Jim

[zeldaspeaks]

Let’s Jim

[galaxa03]

London Slag Party Jim

I’m being serious

[diet-coke-and-collar-bones-deac]

Love Like Jim.

[kearajewelzzz]

A knife in the Jim

[memory--ghost]

ready for jim…

[deathclassic]

Full of jim

[mwgann]

Can’t Help Falling In Jim

[imamemess-blog]

From Now On We Are Jim

[marbelpeople-deactivated2018112]

Fok Julle Jim

[rae-is-gay-deactivated20220619]

9 to Jim

[woahtherebuddyfriend]

Young dumb and Jim

[ya-girl-fucker-blog]

Mad Jim

[s1n-am0n-deactivated20210627]

Beautiful and Jim

[olliveen]

Good Old Fashioned Lover Jim

[movedto-quailly-deactivated2018]

Michael in the Jim

[movedtopinkberryfroyo]

Bend And Jim

[the-mangoos-n-craem-deactivated]

Don’t Let The Jim Go Down On Me

[kickthesandwich-deactivated2018]

The Room Where It Jims

[njcodiangelo-archive]

La vie Jim

[butch-garfield]

Life of the Jim

[ibuprofdean]

soul Jim

[classicliteraturehoe]

Beethoven’s Symphony No. 2 in D Major Op. Jim

[humble-trumpet-prophet]

The Stars Stand Up In The Jim

[basseclarinetjesus-blog]

It’s too Jim

[daminwayne]

somehow I got 95/20 on an assignment

I hope they never fix it and leave it this way forever

[bebe-benzenheimer]

reblog the Awesome Grade picture for awesome grades

[impolitecanadian]

guys this really works i reblogged it and then got 870% on an essay

[gorillateaparty]

May your GPA rise due to clerical error.

[chongoblog]

[basseclarinetjesus-blog]

I’m so shook

[annoyingaltosaxophone]

the most important day of the year

[basseclarinetjesus-blog]

ALL HAIL LORD AND SAVIOR ADOLPHE SAX

[housecatincarnate]

[musicalmelody22]

Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it” 

Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect. 

[fororchestra]

To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha.

On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious.

[corruptbucky]

I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…

[justtkeepcalmm-deactivated20250]

Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair.

The lengths we go for music.

[lady-gorthaur]

Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.

[elsajeni]

One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.”

And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:

[stifled giggling]

[reeeeeeally deep breath]

[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]

The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.

In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”

FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part.

[minguskingus]

This is the best band post 

Everyone else go home

[oxboold-deactivated20180729]

Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this

which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until,

that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that

[prokopetz]

Who does that?

This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose.

[vivelafat]

Julius IdontgivaFucik

[septemberbells]

More like Julius Fuckit

[sushinfood]

Pyrozod’s tags for this were too hilarious not to share

[haha-leigh]

I haven’t been in band for years but this made me laugh so hard

[hisroyalnerd]

I haven’t seen this post in ages and I’m dying of laughter

[tobinlaughing]

I didn’t think it could get better after The Foghorn Tuba Story, but it did. It got better. Bless you, MusicTumblr.

[silviadragoness]

Always reblog the Foghorn Forte post.

[classical-crap]

I love how some people have really cute names for the instruments, like ginger or mocha and I’m just like

HERE’S GERTRUDE

[flutejesus]

Bruh that’s the name of my sax

[classical-crap]

bruh

[saxophonejesus]

Bruh me tooooo

[basseclarinetjesus-blog]

My Bass Clarinet is named Winston

[krahie]

Visit Original Link

[comradesaucegay]

every year around christmas me and my grandma play this fun family game called “maybe you want to put jesus in your room instead, sweetie? :)”. now, it’s important to note that the jesus referred to in our game is not actually the real jesus christ, but instead a wooden figure i made in 2011 that has an uncanny resemblance to the lord and savior himself

so what happens is that i place jesus in our living room, and my grandma smiles and asks me if i don’t want to decorate my room with him instead. i ask her in return if she thinks my jesus figure is ugly (which he is), but she reassures me that this is not the case. however, a couple of days later jesus mysteriously disappears from our living room, and appear in my room instead

now, the real jesus christ might have been able to perform a miracle like this, but please remember that the jesus in our story is only a figure made out of wood. he can not move on his own, so i think we can safely say that my grandma is the prime suspect here

the first year i would often confront my grandma about this, but she would always make up an excuse and never straight up tell me she moved him because he’s so ugly it’s an embarrassment to the family

eventually i grew tired of her lies, so now we only move jesus around in silence. one second he’s in the living room, the next he’s back in my room. in a way i think this adds an extra element of excitement to the holiday season, because you never know for sure when jesus is going to be moved again

[comradesaucegay]

and so it begins..

[voxiferous-deactivated20171119]

i was not fucking ready for this photograph

[miaoumint]

always reblog

[basseclarinetjesus-blog]

The same bari sax made this

Stick this to your water jug.

[awwww-cute]

[blackandmildwithgod]

If you scroll pass this you don’t got ten dollars

[apollonne-deactivated20201016]

Need my $10

[apollonne-deactivated20201016]

Guys i literally just got tipped $10 at work

[dainty-fairie]

Okay but $10 or not this cat is good and pure and very worth reblogging.

[the-flute-jesus]

I’M GONNA QUIT BAND

[the-flute-jesus]

Nvm I’m good

[basseclarinetjesus-blog]

Bruh what happened?

[basseclarinetjesus-blog]

What confuses me is that people that have been in marching band still don’t qualify it as a sport. Like, how? I see some people saying things like, “Oh, it’s more of an art because it’s suppose to be entertaining.” So I mean...does that make football an art? People watch football for entertainment. I don’t know what to say here.

[basseclarinetjesus-blog]

Someone in my section was talking about how when she used to be in orchestra, she put a dollar in the g string of their violin and when her director saw it they said “thaTS INAPPROPRIATE”

[musicalshards]

my friend is learning clarinet with the most meme-worthy book ive ever seen

tag urself im a BAD piece! 

[basseclarinetjesus-blog]

Im Bubbleoso

[omg-horns]

[basseclarinetjesus-blog]

IM T R I G G E R E D