Why Burial at Sea was Terrible

[mycatpomona]

How does the haiku bot work? Like is it reading all the posts we make

[the-haiku-bot]

How does the haiku

bot work? Like is it reading

all the posts we make

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[anxietyproblem]

[anneemay]

"Your reactions against my racism is moral posturing therefore you're a bad person! Being judgemental is moralistic! Being moralistic is the worst because you're not being rational and you're being emotional toward me!"

This is how these rational rats sound to me

[screenshotsofdespair]

[writing-prompt-s]

You’ve been sentenced to 400 years for multiple murders. It’s been 399 years and your jailers are starting to get nervous.

[elidyce]

I was twenty… twenty-five, I think?… when I was sentenced. Four hundred years was a length of time I couldn’t even imagine. It was a length of time I don’t think anyone could imagine, even the judge. It was just a big showy number that let everyone know I’d never see the light of day again. The mages who cast the spells were dramatic about it, practically shouting the part about ‘until death claims you, or four hundred years hath passed, forsooth, thou shalt be imprisoned here’. They don’t waste that kind of magic on most prisoners, but I was special.

The Slayer, they called me then. The Monster of Sentan. I’d killed nineteen people… I remember that number because I was so furious that they stopped me so close to my goal of twenty-one. And I didn’t just kill ordinary people, no, but the Chosen of the Gods. The Great and Good. They were terrified of me. So they locked me away, to die forgotten.

It had been a little less than a hundred years when the king died without heir, and a civil war tore the country apart. When the fighting was all over, the losers were dragged down to the deepest cells under the castle, and the new king and his soldiers stopped and stared at me. “Who… who is this?” he asked, frowning. “Some victim of the usurper?”

People like cooks and jailers and scrubbers don’t change as easily as kings. The same man who’d been bringing me my meals since there was still brown in his hair and beard shuffled forward, hunched and grey now. “No, yer majesty,” he said humbly. “That be a special prisoner, from before the old king died.”

“Special? Special how?” He frowned, moving closer to my cell. “The old king died more than ten years ago. This woman must have been a child then. What could she have done to - “

“Don’t get too close, yer majesty,” the old man said sharply. “That’s the Monster of Sentan… an’ she bites.”

That was true. I do bite.

Keep reading

[thegaymertrainer]

TikTok live is such a waste of time there are no good….

[partycoffin]

What else... I want to write things that have Happened since March of last year when everything Shifted- Maybe I will do that over time, I tend to keep to myself anyways. I think it would be fun to share the nice, small things. What is one... It's very funny, but I've been helping Someone Extensively raise Chaos lately (You know Chao? Sonic the Hedgehog Chao's!)

We have a Few but this one's Name is Sleepy and we found out that there is a Mod that allows them to wear little Coats and I think it's just Incredible. About Sleepy... Sleepy loves Square fruit, Shadow, Rouge, and Knuckles, and drawing pictures with his crayons!

Here is Proof, Because whenever Sleepy does anything I am compelled to photograph it

[drinkyourjuiceshelby]

This story is one of the most bizarre I've ever come across

[msprayforever]

[everythingfox]

Practicing self control

[babyfoxcollectionthings]

[bunjywunjy]

ma'am. your muppets are escaping

[skeletondoggy]

huh

[skeletondoggy]

WHO'S INVADING MY INBOX WITH DEFINED SKELETONS

[pseudomantis]

There are creatures in this pool

[pseudomantis]

[beckysquiltingagain]

The second time I quilted Joan of Ark.

This one just got first place at the Utah State Fair

[toskarin]

in my sickly haze I somehow installed 2 tumblrs

[toskarin]

the tumblr brothers

[toskarin]

so interesting news but after using both for a bit, while they initially seemed the same, it has become clear that the right tumblr app takes place in a timeline where 9/11 did not happen

[spookymanners]

is it better there

[toskarin]

you might think so but you'll never believe what happened on 9/12

[eggshellsareneat]

Alright, I think I like tumblr now.

A pun post crossed my dash, and I reblogged it with an equally bad pun in return. A couple of my followers find it funny, it's a good day for everyone.

That was on July 7th.

Virality on Reddit was entirely algorithmic. You could garner a couple crossposts, but the success of a post was entirely dependent on whether or not it hit r/all--the main page of Reddit. If your post does that, it's immediately exposed to 10x the number of people and immediately gets upvoted.

On my pun post, I get a couple reblogs. And those reblogs get a couple reblogs--nobody really adds any content to the post, it just gets a couple reblogs here and there.

There's a specific chain of reblogs that I'd like to focus on. The most popular post on this chain has about 25 reblogs on it. Half the posts have three reblogs or fewer. Five posts in this chain have just one reblog total.

But the reblog chain keeps going. And going. It breaches containment many times over. And finally, after a chain THIRTY SIX posts long, at 9:30 AM, July 22nd this morning, it hits a popular account.

99% percent of the people who have seen the post--virtually unchanged from how it left my dash--have seen it because it was curated by 36 different people. That's insane to me.

None of those 36 people know that they're part of this chain. They saw a post, reblogged it, and moved on. If any one of these people had not reblogged, the post would have a fraction of the impact it has.

And yet, after two weeks, the post has effectively hit the main page of tumblr. It was picked up, only because people liked it enough to show it to their followers. There were no algorithms necessary.

You really, truly, cannot get this on any other website.

[brightlotusmoon]

[jeanjauthor]

It's genuinely NOT about "going viral." At all. Whatsoever. We KNOW it's not going to go viral!

It's all about "Hey, look at this cool / funny / infuriating / thought-provoking / beautiful / awesome / goddammit that chocolate guy is at it again / important bit of news / schadenfreude in politics / rant about (insert hobby / genre / fandom here) / was-thinking-of-you in (insert various ways here) thing that I want you to see!"

Tumblr is humanity before celebrity.

For good or bad, we just want you to see this stuff, so we can hopefully find more people who are like us and want to see it, too!

[mysterium-solis]

Athena by Dimitrios Biskinis (1891-1947)