Raise Hell, Kid.

My soul is impatient with itself, as with a bothersome child; its restlessness keeps growing and is forever the same. Everything interests me, but nothing holds me. I attend to everything, dreaming all the while. I’m two, and both keep their distance—Siamese twins that aren’t attached.

[charlataninred]

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

[meraarts]

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

[eater-of-hopes-and-dreams]

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

[blitzlowin]

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

The God of Arepo (graphic novel 1 / 2 / 3) (ebook)

The Monster of Sentan

The Witch’s Cat

Raise Both Children

Stabby the Roomba (honorable mention)

Cinderella Marries the Prince (comic)

My Arch Nemesis Cynthia

Pirates and Mermaid

Eindred and the Witch

The Demon King

The Cornerwitch

Grandmother Beetroot

Apocalypse Daycare Worker

Grandmother Accidentally Summons a Demon

New Year Saga

A Story About Changelings

Ranger in the King’s Forest

The Difference Between a Hare and a Rabbit

Goblin Men (Canines)

[charlataninred]

I am in love with you /p

[inkvoices]

Adding Faceblind Prince Charming and Cinderella

[inkvoices]

21. The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

22. The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

[lightningladybug]

adding the Doctors Without Borders one

[inkvoices]

I LOVE tumblr storytime, so here’s a bunch more your weekend reading. Enjoy!

24. The Queen with Three Cursed Children

25. Tiny Dragon with one coin hoard

26. Haunted house

27. Shark hero was about to go rogue

28. Grandma lives in the woods comic

29. A Different Aftermath comic

30. Battery (microstory but I love it so much)

31. It’s A Date comic

32. Supervillian kidnaps rival’s kid and they want to stay

33. Narrative Town

34. I have been hired to clean the wizard tower comic

35. Robot Apocalypse

36. The Statues That Do Not Weather

37. Kushiel

38. Tooth Fairy

39. Alien abduction

40. Felonious wish-granting

41. When humans met actual space orcs

42. Space cousins

[dannnnnnnnnnnnex]

WAIT REBLOG THIS VERSION INSTEAD

[daggerdoggy]

I bet it'd feel good as fuck to be a DVD ... Imagine you're placed delicately in a little tray that's just your size and you retreat into a dark comfy little hole, everything warm and vibrating and safe. And then the lasers

[rocketbirdie]

nobody:

absolutely no one:

tumblr staff: hey i got a great idea hows about we screw up everyone's decade of muscle memory by splitting the perfectly functioning reblog button into two separate things. and make every basic task take more clicks to perform than before. this is ideal. yup. yeah go ahead and push the update to all users and ignore all feedback. s'all good

[never-obsolete]

PC Mag - November 1999 Throw Out Your Software

[pavelow]

Hmmm

[yan-town]

[animusrox]

Me politely asking the guy who does the audio mixing on movies and shows to turn up the dialogue.

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

YOU. WILL. WRITE. oh you want to write so bad. all the motivation is here. the plot is so good. words come to you so naturally. YOU ARE GOING TO WRITE. RIGHT NOW.

[ladyshinga]

[pisces-core]

[kosmogrl]

september was practice… in october I’m getting my shit together

[kosmogrl]

in november I'm getting my shit together

[kosmogrl]

in december I’m getting my shit together

[shadow27]

[witchofprose-deactivated2020041]

This is the FUNNIEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN

[untitled12573]

Reblogging for cultural enrichment

[lab-gr0wn-lambs]

bout time I brought back the Laurel and Hardy flex tape-

[knitmeapony]

From The Killers, 1946. A Film Noir Classic

[theprofessional-amateur]

I’m an archivist, behold my growing collection was of old photos mirroring timeless memes I’ve come across at various places I’ve worked.

[prole-log]

[prettyboyneil]

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion about characters WRONG! You have fundamentally altered them in order to mold them into certain tropes and roles that you feel they should play Neil is NOT the sunshine to Andrew’s grumpy Neil is NOT the feminine to Andrew’s masculine Neil is NOT bubbly and warm to Andrew’s apathy They are both assholes Neil will manipulate someone six ways to Sunday for his own benefit and has put hits out on two people manipulated someone into killing another and probably killed or at least injured more and Andrew will stab someone for looking at him wrong they are BOTH capable of great violence and can be downright terrifying

[trapped--under--rice]

please behold the 24 Hours of Lemons race, in which you can only spend $500 total on a car to cross country race for 24 hours

named after the legendary 24 hour Le Mans race, Lemons rallies barely legal cars in an endurance race across America. had the privilege of sharing the freeway with this race and seeing the absolute art od this event

[friendly-neighborhood-patriarch]

This is so American I could CRY

[hogmilked]

oh this is nothing. some of my favorite lemons entries are:

an airplane stuck on a toyota minivan

this miata built by rocket scientists

the mr2 boat

the nyan cat bmw that i think actually played the song at all times

the homer simpson car built by uranium workers

this limo whose brakes caught on fire

the dumbest corolla and supra wearing funny hats

and so much more. 24 hours of lemons my beloved

[transarsonist]

The absolute metaphorical snarl that is a Limo modeled after the titanic called "unstoppable", whose breaks caught fire, is just, absolutely sending me

[skyporf]

@miata-detector

[miata-detector]

ohhh ive been! my favorite was a car that wasn't properly cooled so they installed a barbecue in the engine to slow cook ribs while they race!

[missescara-23]

New goal - draw a Neil so c*nty he ends up in all of the TikTok edits . Feel like this one got pretty close😈😘

[berrycobbler]

if you're a ceaseless watcher it must feel good as fuck to turn your gaze upon a wretched thing

[whyenn-reader]

disabilities are not superpowers, that being said having auditory processing disorder my entire life made me insane at freestyling, cause my mental libary of homophobic phrases (rhymes) is massive and keeps expanding every day

[whyenn-reader]

HOMOPHONIC PHRASES HOMOPHONIC HOMOPHONIC SOUNDALIKES RHYMES ECHOS

HAVING AN EXTENDED LIBRARY OF HOMOPHOBIC PHRASES DOES NOT HELP YOU WITH FREESTYLING UNLESS YOU ARE EMINEM.

[whyenn-reader]

NOT THIS ONE IM BEGGING

[arikot27]

[traditional-latin-math]

[saintofsacrilege]

nobody’s doing it like neil josten because yeah he’s a weird guy but his love interest isn’t a manic pixie dream girl. no, his love interest is instead a depressive monster nightmare boy. and they’re also both jocks somehow

[saintofsacrilege]

to everyone saying neil *is* the manic pixie dream girl of their relationship: you’re so right. my apologies