besketchy

Just a girl looking for her own piece of mind King of Gold

[be-sketchy]

My FIRST EVER week of Art Fight! Challenging myself to try different styles so I can find the one I like the most. The Akira slide is my latest, and I think the style isn’t going to refine.

Please attack me, I guarantee revenges 😈

[be-sketchy]

A man right where he wants to be

[be-sketchy]

Been bouncing around allot of ideas but here are the main characters to a game I’m working on called FireFell! Still a work in progress but progress, feel free to leave a comment!

Left to Right: Rhoswen, Aedan, Dominyx, Mirallye, Vyncent, and Liss’trae

[be-sketchy]

Hey everyone!

Im starting to learn game development and design and have two ideas! One I’ve shared a little bit and has been a lifelong story, but another idea came to mind that’s a little closer to home.

I want to make a game where the playable character (hopefully set up character creation!) develops a disability/chronic illness near the beginning of the game, and the rest of the time the player has to balance health, stamina, and spoons all while doing normal daily things like the dishes, appointments, school, and socializing. Some events take more spoons or stamina which effects the movement for the rest of the day.

But there’s a twist!

It’s going to be a modern fantasy! The playable character will be able to choose between three classes (hopefully) such as a fighter, sorcerer, or a dark path! Balance everything on a daily basis, but make sure you have enough supplies and spoons for a potential boss fight!

Anyways I wanted to share what I have so far and allow other people to edit. Please don’t erase anything, but feel free to type your name at the type and pick a color to type in! Or leave comments! I’d love for the game to be as inclusive and true as possible, but there are so many conditions out there that I would like them to all be represented in some way.

Here’s the link to the doc, let me know if it doesn’t work and I can send individual access!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Jv7jXs-Qc2lXNvvGq3QxMIi4YzLSMctOxa6uw_8W8oM/edit?usp=drivesdk

[be-sketchy]

I went to the allergist today who specializes in MCAS and got diagnosed :,)

He could tell I was extremely nervous, I have a history of bad experiences and dismissal and was afraid it would happen here.

He wanted me to start from the very beginning of my health journey and he didn’t interrupt except to tell me that things were okay and to take my time.

He did some allergy tests and they came back negative.

He then sat me down and said “it’s not all in your head but Im about to give you allot of information” and I genuinely thought he was about to tell me it was anxiety and I almost cried

He then went on explaining MCAS to me fully, treatment plans, the different types. When he got to the criteria, the first part was severe recurrent symptoms involving two or more organs. Which I have everyday several times a day depending on triggers. This man literally looked at me and said “you are really sick”. His exact words.

I’m in a weird spot now, I’m so happy to finally have answers that make sense and a treatment plan, and that someone validated the way I felt and didn’t make me feel like shit for being anxious. I’m happy to hopefully get my life back and maybe my hopes and dreams I’ve put aside I can finally do again. I hope it will help me be a good wife who can do all the things he fell in love with when we first met.

But I’m also sad for all the time I’ve lost. Maybe I’d be achieving all my goals and dreams now if I’d been diagnosed then. Angry at my past coworker who didn’t listen to me when I told her she had covid, which led me to getting it then being sick since then. I’m also anxious that this is all in my head, maybe I’ve created an echo chamber of symptoms for myself. Or this is another misdiagnosis and it’s all wrong.

Idk mixed feelings

[be-sketchy]

I remember seeing this post about having the talent but not the passion and felt like I always related to it, thought it was an awful feeling. But then I found the passion but with a medium I have no talent with, and I think this is so much worse.

[be-sketchy]

Me: I think I was misdiagnosed with POTS, I think I actually have HI/MCAS

Dr: what is your biggest concern? What symptoms?

Me: I feel like I’m going to die everytime I get an episode, food sensitivities, skin sensitivities, smell sensitivities, weather sensitivities, skin issues, high hr when standing, low BP, blurred vision, dizziness, weakness, lightheadedness, tingling, numbness, digestive issues, I have to eat every 4 hours or I feel like I will literally die, etc.

Dr: you know what this sounds like?!

Me:….. (hopeful for an actual answer)

Dr: ✨Anxiety✨

[be-sketchy]

Very frustrating day. I planned to get the model animated and put into unreal, get it all blueprinted and everything (which I’ve done before) and nothin is working. The rig, the model, parenting, and my grey boxed prologue is gone too. Idk.

Pic of my cat watching Flow

[be-sketchy]

I gotta learn to take screenshots on my computer; I always forget how to.

In the meantime here is an updated Dominyx! AKA Dom! He is the main character of this story and this is him in the prologue which takes place 7 years prior to the main story! His front bangs look off as it was a new technique that clicked for me once I got to the back so I’m planning on going back to edit them.

What’s next:

Rigging

Details/UV

Animations

Upload to Unreal

Also I’m thinking of calling this story FireFell! The story originally was called “The Domino Effect” 6 years ago as an inside joke with a friend. Then it formally became “King of Gold” about 2 years ago when I changed it from a modern to a medieval fantasy setting. Now FireFell feels more fitting! Let me know what you guys think!

[be-sketchy]

Am I a game dev yet

[be-sketchy]

Jk decided to make my comic a little indie game instead

See yall in a few years

[be-sketchy]

Yall ever just look at your siblings and then your mom and realize you were raised by a completely different person in a completely different way…

Not fair dawg

[be-sketchy]

Hopefully going to start my WEBTOON up again… be prepared for some concept art

[be-sketchy]

Messy sketch while playing helldivers. I love and miss Anya

[be-sketchy]

Just up, wishing I was prettier

(by prettier I mean covered in sick tats and piercings that my nonexistent sugar daddy pays for )

[be-sketchy]

Y’all ever just

[be-sketchy]

I will always be the second best.

I will always be the second chair in a symphony.

I will always be second place in a competition.

I will always be good, but not good enough.

I will always be smart enough for advanced classes, but never be top of the class.

I will always be talented, but never talented enough to avoid being overlooked.

I will always be the runner up for a research opportunity, of course it was given to someone else, I’ll always be the second choice.

I will always be fighting for a promotion, but of course there’s a harder worker than me, I’ll always be the second choice.

I will always be tired, always be studying, always be working, but I will always never be tired enough, studying enough, working enough.

I will always have hopes and dreams, but I’ll be lucky if someone else’s don’t get fulfilled first.

I’ll always be good, but never good enough.

I’ll always be the second best.