“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete”
— Buddha

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@be-strong-alive
“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete”
— Buddha
you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.
being sick & miserable objectively sucks, but it has become significantly easier to cope with since learning that “sickness behavior” is a well documented part of the body’s immune response
feeling not only physically but also emotionally like fucking garbage is unfortunately an extremely effective way to force your body to prioritize fighting infection & keeping you alive. i don’t have to like it, but knowing why i get weepy & pathetic when sick does help at least a little
i just found out that this is not common knowledge and am reblogging so more people know
YOUR BODY DOES THIS ON PURPOSE
YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON BECAUSE OR "WEAK" WHEN YOU ARE SICK IF YOU CAN"T CARRY ON AS NORMAL
Rereading this on my sick days 🙏🏽
Why do I feel like I should print this out, frame it, and hang it in my office?
sometimes people on here talk about "accountability" in a way that shows they think that the person they've decided is in the wrong can't actually do anything to redeem themselves other than like. suicide.
Things Accountability IS:
Apologising for the harm that you've caused.
Trying to change your behaviour.
Accepting that not everyone will forgive you and they don't have to.
Things Accountability ISN'T:
Wallowing in your guilt until you think of yourself as nothing but bad.
Accepting an overly distressing punishment for your actions.
Twisting yourself into knots to make sure everyone knows how disgusted you are by yourself.
Other people can't move on if you never do.
Accepting that not
everyone will forgive you
and they don’t have to.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
don't be mean to yourself that's you
you live there
sorry I wasn’t in the mood to be a person today, sorry I forgot to keep a conversation, sorry my soul needs ironing. give me a moment, a day or a so. it’ll be good. I’ll brush my hair and change my clothes. I’ll laugh a lot. I’ll say important things. it’ll be good.
we’re gonna be ok btw
it’s ok if you’re scared. or tired. or unsure. or one million billion other complicated emotions at once. but i’ve decided things are going to be ok anyway. and i will hold that belief close to my heart no matter how scared or tired or lonely or depressed or one million billion other things i am. i will hold onto that. and if you’re scared, you can hold onto me. we can carry each other through
“but if i tell Friend/Family/Partner about my needs instead of being a silently beleaguered doormat, they won’t want to be around me anymore!” that’s called the trash taking itself out and it’s the kinder but slightly less fun alternative to hitting them with sticks and rocks
i feel like this is a dying art called 'being a good human being' anybody else agree. anybody
Look. The way you ask for a refill?
Sometimes, what you need to do is literally ask for a refill. I know that can be scary and upsetting and requires you to be willing to be vulnerable, but please consider two things:
One: if what you want to do is be able to fill other people's cups, you can't fill from an empty cup. You literally can't do the work if you're emptied out. You need to do this so you can help.
Two: for the people that love you, the people that really matter, you aren't imposing on them by asking for a refill. This is one of the things I really internalized from coming home to Judaism: when someone asks me to help them, they're giving me the opportunity to perform a mitzvah. No matter your belief system or outlook, I think we can probably all agree that being given an opportunity to be more awesome is pretty great.
So ask. Here are a few scripts you can try.
"Hey, I am...
... having a bad day.
... really struggling.
... really hurting because of the state of the world.
... having a hard time focusing on positive things.
... feeling emptied out.
Could you please help me? I could really use...
... some company.
... to hear about something beautiful you saw today.
... to hear some good news.
... to see a picture of your pet.
... to be told something you like about me.
... to be reminded of something I do that you like.
... your silliest new meme.
... to go for a walk with you.
... to hear about your favorite show.
... a hug."
I have genuinely never asked my friends to love me a little bit louder and gotten anything but an outpouring of support.
People love you and want to take care of you. All you have to do is give them an opportunity and maybe tell them the best way to love you right now.
I need to share this.
I need to remind people they too can ask me for a refill.
We are stronger together.
You never know how signing up for a new class, getting a haircut, attending a party you are too lazy to go to, or applying to a job you think you have no chance at can really shift timelines. You are probably one decision away from catapulting into a new timeline.
as you get older, you start realizing that you are not always right and there’s a lot of things you could have handled better and many situations where you could have been kinder and all you can really do is forgive yourself and let your mistakes make you a better person.
New reaction image for ‘posting something on the internet and having it be wildly misinterpreted’
Human relationships are not transactional but they are reciprocal, which I think many of you with your ‘i don’t owe anyone anything’ shtick are too happy to forget
Transactional: everything has to be exactly 50/50 all the time, pay me back for the £5 sandwich or buy me something worth exactly £5, I refuse to make an effort for you if there’s nothing in it for me
Reciprocal: you were there for me when I needed help, and I’m going to do the same for you, it doesn’t matter if one of us needs more or is capable of less, because the point is not equivalent exchange but mutual care
learning that addiction is a progressive narrowing of the range of things that make one happy was kinda life changing for me. i apply it to everything not even just addiction i am always checking to ask if i am narrowing my range of happiness or widening it
always good to check whether your coping strategy has become something that needs its own coping strategies
another comic about friendship
the first one is here