Is there a version of a sentient Gotham who not only loves her protectors, but also wants to see them happy, and so in her desperate attempts to help she creates within her capabilities the most unhinged scenarios straight from the romcoms to somehow make these stubborn assholes realize they're clearly in love with their respective friends and should get over with it?
Bonus points if she's so obvious in her scheming that every bat knows about it but can do literally nothing to stop her
Tim: this is gonna be our apartment for the duration of this mission. you can see our target's office on the other side of the street, and there are two cafes below where he most often organizes his meetings. i've also taken care of a fake id for you
Kon, checking out the rooms: this is nice
Tim: yeah, and surprisingly this is the only convenient place. luckily i managed to get ahold of it, though there were some other possible renters in the line ahead of us
Kon: never even dreamed of doubting yo— *suddenly stops in his tracks* hey, did you know there's only one bed?
Tim, vividly remembering two separate beds being there during his previous visit: what.
Clark: thank you for your interview, mr. wayne
Bruce, escorting him to the living room door: please, after all that fussing you simply can't keep calling me that
Clark: of course, mr. wayne
Bruce, smirking and grabbing the door handle: clark, that's—
Clark, confused: is everything okay?
Bruce, slowly starting to panic because he can't open the door: yeah, everything's fine, it's just the rusty lock
*a few minutes past full of huffing and unsuccessful attempts at opening the door*
Clark: some very stubborn lock, it seems
Bruce: ha-ha, you're so right, very, very fucking stubborn—
Jason, frantically looking around, because he's sure he hasn't entered the area: what the fuck—
Roy, coincidentally turning into the same alley: oh, jason! i was just going to visit you in your flat. i was thinking of inviting you to join us on today's trip to the aquarium, you know, the one which your father's foundation recently sponsored— jason? are you feeling all right? you look pale
Jason, almost hyperventilating, because he's sure he hasn't entered this fucking area of the city: huh?