Boop beep

I run this blog so my friend Meg can follow it, if you want to see my real passion (breaking bad memes) see my side blog: notcapableofbeingtheguy

[gardenofdelete998]

pillows have stopped having a cold side some time ago

[romanceyourdemons]

when you’re mean to me this is literally who you’re being mean to *image of me perched atop a throne of human skulls on a cliff above the ocean, howling wind and shrieking seagulls, and the dream goes on forever, one single static frame*

[pocblr]

LUPITA NYONG'O 📷 Instagram

[snailtongue]

[tupacabra]

[audioexorcisms]

Lets dissect uncle to find his wish gland

[designerpets]

this is why commas are so

important 🤓

[audioexorcisms]

Where do you think the comma goes

[jewish-joy]

Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.

Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.

[crabussy]

let's capitalise the first letter of random words.... Forever

[fuckblast]

It's been years and I still haven't found a single sentence on Wikipedia I like more than this one. and quickly learned how to breakdance. The simple statement. Action, result, reaction. White boy stuns latinos. Quickly. His white ass got there and said I need to have something to keep me from being All the White People, and I'm clearly not a boy of combative strength. Breakdancing bluelinked as the perfect little punctuation, reminding you that it is a rich art and sport, making you consider the sort of undertaking that would be. I like this sentence more than some Beck songs.

[ymawgat]

your car: *bounces back and forth, defeated, its hood swinging by a mere thread*

my car: *triumphantly leaps six feet in the air, spraying hubcaps in victorious fervor*

[mousenemy]

What?

[chromatic-king]

[dahlia-molinas]

if christopher nolan was really the visionary and ground-breaking director everyone claims he is he would have cast ben affleck as penelope

[pjharvey-moved-deactivated20250]

i am an ally to all embarrassing and uncool women forever and ever

[sqrt-73]

screw ray bradburys 6 word poem. here’s my 2 word one:

Keep reading

[rainbow-femme]

Hi yes hello it’s me the local wizard, and I- Ok well “evil” feels like a strong word but yes, that’s me. Anyway, I need your help. I know I stole away the kingdoms 12 princesses, that’s my bad. Listen, I didn’t think this through. It didn’t occur to me that having a dozen angry young women from early teen to early 20s and giving them giant powerful wings would be a bad idea.

I know I’m the one who cast the curse but it can still only be broken with true love. I’m begging you, somebody, please come and fall in love with these girls and make them leave, I can’t take it anymore, it sucks so bad. I can’t keep getting viciously bullied by one of the largest living species of waterfowl anymore. I’ve tried running away but they can fly so they just find me. I’m getting nothing done.

I’ll pay you, I’ll grant you wishes, I don’t care, please just come and fall in love with the mean angry women who live in my yard and hate me so bad

[virtualgirladvance]

dating rpg...damn if only newgrounds was still around

[paverics]

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

[paverics]

comedians can only dream of writing something this funny

[dangerous-crow-boy]

Haven’t posted about plastic in a minute. Rest assured, I am still hard at work eating all plastic on earth

[dangerous-crow-boy]

They could never hurt me in any way that matters. I will not be kept from my calling

[real-language-facts]

dinosaurs spoke esperanto and thats why they had to die

[dogpuppy]