Beyond Comprehension @beattia-blog - Tumblr Blog

You’re lying on the sofa under a blanket, lights dimmed, watching your favourite TV show. Your cat is laid across you, sleeping but purring quietly. All is calm. All is good.

pinkuma-buccus

but then out of the corner of your eye you spot him

shia labeouf

shrimp-bird

Yee

and dare I say it,

Haw

goddessvicky

A+ can confirm

5theditionhomebrewing-deactivat

Have you ever crossed paths with a salesman who seemed, not so fresh? Well now you can have a list of strange and not useful potions for them to sell! Huzzah! Duration for the last two are up to you. I’m to indecisive.

brewerssupplies

I present three subraces for the Genasi! @probablyrebloggedrpgideas @verystupidrpgideas

catchymemes

Astronaut tweets

ommanyte

D&D Races

Human

Dwarf

Halfling

Gnome

Teifling

High elf

Wood elf

Drow

Half-orc

Orc

Dragonborn

BONUS

Goblin

just-shower-thoughts

if you measure the diameter of a clock then you’re physically measuring a measurement of time, and if you time how long it takes to measure the diameter then you’re using a measurement of time to measure the physical measurement of a measurement of time.

wordsnquotes

Kurt Vonnegut’s 8 Tips on Creative Writing

Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.

Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.

Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.

Every sentence must do one of two things–reveal character or advance the action.

Start as close to the end as possible.

Be a sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them–in order that the reader may see what they are made of.

Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.

Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.

Illustration by Tom Ralston

wnq-typography

Comfortably Share Silence

Read More on wordsnquotes

lair-master

Twinned Magic

A sorcerous origin in 160 words or less for Dungeons & Dragons fifth edition.

Keep reading

libertarirynn-deactivated202006

There are a lot of absolute idiots in the comments saying things like “a good dog will never hurt a baby” and “the child is never to blame if the dog attacks” and “special snowflakes call everything abuse”

Listen here you fucktards: dogs. Are not. Fucking. People. They don’t operate by human logic. They don’t follow human moral codes. It has nothing to do with it being a “good dog“ or not. If you were getting hit and pulled on and punched and scratched constantly, you just might react. A dog can’t speak up and say “hey please stop that you’re hurting me“. What he can do is move, lunge, bite, etc. These actions might intentionally or unintentionally harm your child. Use your fucking head and don’t let your kid beat up on your dog no matter how many times he’s “taken it” before; you never know when he might snap. Don’t teach your kids it’s OK to treat animals like punching bags and they’ll never react. That’s immensely unfair to both the animal and the child. You could have a hurt or dead child and a euthanized dog because you were fucking dumbass who thought the dogs were just there to be treated like toys.

Same goes for cats and any other pet. Teach your child how to properly treat animals or don’t have any fucking animals.

obaewankenope

When I was younger, one of our dogs, Brew, was pretty old and I loved him. I used to lie with my head on his shoulder and he’d put his head on mine and sleep. I literally loved him so much. But he was an old dog and one day I tripped and stood on his tail. He came up and nipped at me. Caught me in the face.

My mother freaked and I cried but we didn’t call police or anything because he did what comes to dogs naturally. He can’t say “ow, gerroff” so he could only bite. All he did was nip. A little warning. I felt awful and spent the rest of the day stroking him and saying sorry even though I had a bruise above my eye that looked like someone had hit me and sent me flying.

Don’t let your kids climb on your dogs or bother your cats. Your pets aren’t there to be abused for the sake of cuteness. It doesn’t matter if a baby doesn’t understand. If I toddler doesn’t know any better. I made hella sure that my niece’s and nephew didn’t hurt my pets at any age and taught them respect. They’ve been nipped and clawed because of their actions and I told them that.

Respect your pets and teach your kids the same. It’s absolute bullshit that an animal should suffer just because you don’t fucking want to teach kids to respect animals from the beginning.

africanaquarian

The family dog also nipped me in the face when I was a child. I always loved animals and couldn’t recognize when the dog was annoyed with me being all in his face all the time. I also was told repeatedly to not do that but I was 3 so. One day he finally snapped and got me. It was totally my fault and my whole family acknowledged it and the dog remained and I learned my lesson lol.

flameheart2013

One of my cats hissed and nicked an old friend of mine when we were kids. Why? She had pulled his tail trying to get his attention.

We didn’t report it, but I explained to my friend that cats’ spinal cords extend to the literal tip of their tail. Pulling on their tail is like pulling on someone’s spine…it’s going to hurt a LOT. And since cats can’t communicate with us, they attack as a form of defense (I only knew this because I wanted to be a vet at this age and had a vet book).

To this day, I still use this. I can even tell when I’m taking play fighting too far because my cats will have their ears bent down and outwards.

PLEASE teach your kids to treat animals with kindness.