You cannot just leave this gem in the tags
d e v o n

⁂
Xuebing Du

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

izzy's playlists!

oozey mess
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
No title available
YOU ARE THE REASON
taylor price
i don't do bad sauce passes
almost home

JBB: An Artblog!

Love Begins
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

Origami Around
$LAYYYTER

#extradirty
Keni
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@belleruth01
You cannot just leave this gem in the tags
Yeah, that doesn't prevent pregnancy.
Dfgajagakala it’s so you don’t get a UTI 😂
*facepalm* So, given that sex ed in the US is a tire fire:
Vagina-having people have a shorter urethra, which means we’re more prone to UTIs because the bacteria doesn’t have to travel as far to get up into your bladder and cause a problem.
Which means if you’re exposing your bits to bacteria (as with sex), peeing will flush out bacteria in the urethra. (Urine isn’t actually sterile - that’s a myth - but you’re *supposed to* have a little bit of bacteria - that’s how bodies work. But it still flushes things out that shouldn’t be there.)
Oh! You should ALSO pee after you masturbate, especially if it involves penetration with fingers/toys/etc
So I’ve blocked like five transphobes on this post, which I feel should have been relatively uncontroversial.
If you’re one of the people saying “You meant ‘women’”, fuck you. I meant “people who have a vagina, regardless of their gender or lack thereof”, and you can go fuck yourself with a cactus.
And you should pee afterward, so you don’t get a UTI.
My cat has to wear a cone this week and it made me think of an angel whose halo is a cone.
Local idiot is cone-free and back on his regular sillyzone nonsense.
I am obsessed with the theological implications of this
me: hey, there’s a documentary about a topic I am already interested in! let’s watch it!
me watching: already knew that. already knew that. wrong. already knew that. true but misleading. already knew that. already knew that. leaves out the important part. already knew that
i recommend every history student to play the appropriate assassin’s creed game before starting to learn about a subject bc it makes everything 10000% funnier like. hey. i know this guy. he had an unresolved yet undeniable homoerotic sexual tension with my favorite video game man. what’s he doing here.
her storytelling skills are killing me
Ithaca College student Yana Mazurkevich just rolled out her second Brock Turner-inspired photo series, in conjunction with sexual assault advocacy group Current Solutions.
pick one pass it on
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This is hands down the best tik tok ever made.
mAM dOES yOUR hUSBAND HAVE NIPPLES
A universal experience.
[Transcription: all speech in the video is auto-tuned]
Story time: I’m a vet tech and one time I was [???] this lady for an appointment with her little dog who was covered in bugs
I searched this dog high and low for bugs, couldn’t find a single one
I said ma’am can you please point out these bugs to me
She said oh my gosh can’t you see them they’re right on his belly
She showed me her dog’s nipples and proceeded to try to rip them off
I said ma’am no stop
Those are his nipples
She said
There’s no way, he’s a boy
I said ma’am that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have nipples
Those are definitely his nipples, notice how they’re so symmetrical
She said no way, he’s a boy I said
Ma’am doesn’t your husband have nipples
I add vet tech storytime….lady brings in a kitten, terribly concerned he’s got a cold or asthma or something…he’s always making this alarming sound in his chest but he’s so active and affectionate and loves to snuggle. Neither her or her husband have ever had a cat before, so she just wants to make sure they get everything right and take good care of their newest family member.
I pet the kitten as I give this lady pamphlets and a personalized Cat Owner 101 lesson.
The kitten is leaving a great time, nearly comatose with happy in my lapm
She goes “That’s it!! That’s the sound!! What’s wrong with him?! If there’s anything we can do, we’ll do it! He’s my son’s best friend, we love him!”
I stare at her helplessly, fighting every impulse because this woman is so genuine in her love and concern for this, the first cat her family has ever experienced.
“Ma'am,” I say, so, SO gently.
“Ma'am, he’s purring. It means you’re making him happy.”
the video was sO FUNNY and then the last reply melted my entire heart
it’s been a few days and he loves it
Saw a tiktok abt Apollo turning his exes into flowers and Persephone's like "wtf dude" so I thought of this:
Apollo, holding his deceased lover now in the form of a flower behind his back: Heyy Persephone! Noticed you're back from the underworld, just wanted to check in-
Persephone: Another one?
Apollo: Whaaaat? What do you mean "another one"? Another what-
Persephone: C'mon, show me.
Apollo, handing Persephone the flower: ...take care of them, okay?
Persephone: I will, I promise. *buries the flower in a flower bed dedicated to Apollo's exes.*
ballads in eurovision
The juries are sooo fucking dumb and also everyone who voted to give Sweden like 200 audience points, why do you hate fun
My final message to the world
just so we are all clear on my position
I think now that queens dead they should have her stuffed and put on display in Cairo for the next 150 years.
BLAZE REJECTED MY POST WOW LOL
We'll make sure at least 100k people see it for free then.