Just a Lost mutt @bennyhasthoughts - Tumblr Blog

Hi I'm Otto! I'm 23 and my pronouns are They/it welcome to my ballpit! My main blog is @bennygotacookie

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In this ballpit I reblog my special interests and mostly reblog nostalgic content or whatever I'm feeling at the moment

⚠️ Warning! ⚠️

I do post a few vents from time to time because this is where I express my thoughts and feelings but they are always tagged as "vent" and "tw vent"

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Other than that you are free to explore and have a wonderful time!

2005

my ship holding my flag broh lets goooo

#mecore

felisgalactus

This takes place vaguely pre-war in my personal continuity, what will become the Decepticons are emerging as a distinct faction of the collective revolution, and Megatron and Soundwave are forming a bond. Soundwave is on the tail end of emerging from a much more vulnerable period in his life, not quite able yet to fully rise above deeply ingrained insecurities. He’s never been like any other mech, and his failures to connect with others has been a weight on his self esteem for a long time. Megatron has his simultaneously blunt and dismissive way of showing he cares, but being a mind reader Soundwave doesn’t need constant verbal reassurance. He knows Megatron’s spark is true, and that’s all that he needs. All this to say I’m soft for their relationship and unique form of care they show for each other.

"I love you so much. You kind soul." Was something I read today on the side of a box given to me by a friend. Another sleepless night for me tonight and I lay here wondering and questioning all these kind things and kind gestures that keep happening between me and my friends. A friend who continuously made me gift boxes that were personally customized and doubled as boxes I could use for storage. A friend who I can talk to about almost anything and has driven me from here to there just because she wanted to. Another who has tucked me in with one of her blankets multiple times on her couch even though I bring my own blanket from home. And you know I read all these letters that have been written to me and I remember all these other interactions I've had with all three of them and it's like I really don't understand what about me as a person lets me deserve this. I'm being loved back the same way I love on others and Everytime it's just so jarring. I would love to be able to accept that I deserve this love that this is something I've always deserved but it feels so. Weird. My weakness has always been cards and letters and reading letters that have been written for me specifically by friends it just gut wrenches me. I love getting them because I rarely get them at all and I hate asking for them because I just. I don't want to ask I just want them to happen. I write people things all the time and to be given even a sticky note or something written for me specifically just 🫠 god. I can't sleep.

#otto journals #tw vent #vent

8irdies

hi! i had an idea to make a "favorite items this month" piece because i have a little too much love for everything. so here are some of my favorite thingies!!! from the month of may.

toyboxcore

Second star to the right & straight on til morning.

#mecore

I can never deny the fact that I am loved in that household because every picture taken of me when we hang out together has my real smile that I hate so much. My notes that I wrote just to be silly are taped up on a door. My drawing I made at work is on the fridge. I am tucked in when I fall asleep. I am given snacks against my will after my stomach rumble exposes my ass. And I am consistently asked to visit. As much as my anxiety is always up my fucking ass with new friends and new relationships in general I can never deny myself this amount of love I've been given. It's what I deserve after what narcissistic avoidant shit I had to deal with. I am consistently shown how much I am loved. I am told how much I am loved. I get checked on. I get fed and when I eat before going over it's seen as an offense. I get cooked meals?? I've been craving the way this bitch makes eggs for weeks now it's horrible. I'm so glad to have a new home away from home

#mecore #otto journals