yikes!

I don't think I'm a funny person but I'll laugh at myself anyway.

[socialistexan]

[importantcatpics]

[shamebats]

Did they task the vampires with hanging up the flags 😭

[milquetoaast]

source

[ampervadasz]

[thickness-protection-program]

Edward Cullen energy

[jultheevirgo]

what does that mean?

[thickness-protection-program]

[hugh-lauries-bald-spot]

whats a stereotype for your country that you absolutely do. mine is that i unironically go "eh" and apologize a lot and i often drink maple syrup straight

[asteroidtroglodyte]

The grip that Burger & Big Drink has on the American People cannot be overstated

[animentality]

[ruinedchildhood]

[you-need-not-apply]

Bro I just nearly fucking died

[you-need-not-apply]

My throats fucked but I like inhaled toothpaste and my throat seized up and I couldn’t breathe worst part is I spat toothpaste everywhere trying to get it out of my mouth and my throat is like fuzzy now?? Water did not help honey tea might

[you-need-not-apply]

Dude I was dry heaving into a sink barely breathing and my brain went “this is gonna make a sick ass tumblr story”

[epistleii]

is this accurate

[you-need-not-apply]

Absolutely flawless how did you get these photos?

[dancinbutterfly]

I can never leave here

[andhumanslovedstories]

Back in 2013, I posted a Welcome to Night Vale fic and someone commented, “I’m autistic and I see myself a lot in the way you write Carlos. Did you intend for him to autistic?”

And I was like “I’m flattered you think so! No, he’s not intended to be autistic, but I’m glad you can see yourself in him.”

Now twelve years later I spent some time this evening trying to track down that comment to give a very belated clarification. Whoever you were stranger, hey. I only said no because I based Carlos heavily on me, and since I wasn’t autistic, Carlos wouldn’t be either. Well. I’ve learned some stuff in the intervening decade that strongly support your literary analysis.

[maandarinee]

[henstomper]

hard cider was invented when someone decided to make beer that tastes good instead of bad

[impossiblepackage]

stupid fuckin post. People have been making beer since before they even knew how to write and you think that they don’t like the way it tastes?

[henstomper]

damn all that time and it still tastes really bad. huge L tbh

[dankxsinatra]

[queerism1969]

[headspace-hotel]

kentuckygender is when you aren't a girl but you still are somehow a horse girl

[answeringmysister]

[mephostophilis]

are non brits aware of count binface.

[mephostophilis]

to give some entirely bizarre context, nigel farage (extreme cunt) has stepped down from his position as MP for clacton (due to a scandal where he received £5 million from a crypto billionaire that could have been laundered) only to run again so that he can prove people like him. and the only person running against him is count binface. who has been a staple of british politics for many years. and now the british press is forced to interview him seriously while he sits there with his binface.

[mephostophilis]

sorry. correction. laurence fox is also there

[mephostophilis]

[lesbianbreadwhore]

diet culture is so evil like. an older woman friend said to me (in response to me saying my gf isn't really into chocolate) "i WISH i didn't like chocolate" like. do you wish you didn't have skin to feel a summer breeze. do you wish you didn't have eyes to see the sunrise

[escuerzoresucitado]

Pedestrian traffic lights

[sjorsdottir]

Ooooh, we have a bunch of really fancy pedestrian traffic lights in Germany! I need to share:

Starting off with the difference between formerly Eastern German traffic lights (upper images) and formerly Western German traffic lights (lower images):

The city of Erfurt had some additions, like an umbrella or a heart:

Same sex love in Marburg (upper image) and Frankfurt (lower image):

Traffic light lady in Bremen:

Karl Marx light in Trier:

Face of Friedrich Engels in Wuppertal:

Elvis in Friedberg (Hessen):

A sparrow (for the Golden Sparrow film awards) in Gera:

Winemaker in Bad Dürkenheim:

Mainzelmännchen (mascot of the public broadcasting service ZDF) in Mainz:

Otto Waalkes (German Comedian) in Emden:

Town musicians of Bremen in Bremen:

A miner in Pirmasens, Rheinland-Pfalz:

Bishop in Fulda:

Source: Saarbrücker Zeitung

Enjoy!

[podcastwizard]

manager today asked if i’d face paint for an event my work is hosting and she said “you can face paint, right? we all just assumed you could face paint” which is a fun assessment of my character

[eggblackoutpoetry]

“Egg”