let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Today's Document
Mike Driver

No title available
DEAR READER
Xuebing Du
dirt enthusiast
NASA
YOU ARE THE REASON
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
No title available
AnasAbdin
$LAYYYTER

pixel skylines

Love Begins
One Nice Bug Per Day
almost home
Sade Olutola
wallacepolsom

tannertan36
seen from Spain

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Australia

seen from Canada
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States

seen from United States
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seen from Bangladesh
seen from United States
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seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
@beth500
bat opens up their little bat wallet to find they are all out of moths. A worthless $100 bill flies out for emphasis
From top-of-frame, a month flutters into the wallet. Confused, the bat looks "up" to see an equally-confused human standing "above" her, holding an open wallet containing a single $100 bill.
Camera rotates to reveal bat has been hanging upside down above a human doing the exact same visual gag and each ruined the other's bit.
Laugh track.
All so true. Why is the human Jon Arbuckle
A doll youtuber I watch has made a video about the history of Polly Pocket, and she's describing the plots of the dvd specials, one of which features an elderly woman named Ms. Throckmorton, and my reaction was
.That Judge Judy Pussy grip insane. You be calling her Judith on the second stroke.
My grip will rip your junk off, chew it up, and spit it back at you.
you either deactivate young or live long enough to see a mirror dimension version of your account kill indiscriminately on the dashboard
Imagine how I feel
Heartwarming story: Little girl doesn’t have to do anything to fund her dad’s surgery because his expenses are covered by his country’s universal healthcare.
Human determination: Man bikes 18 miles to work every morning because he wants to and not because he can’t afford a car and would be fired if he’s late.
Spirit of Brotherhood: Neighbors host housewarming party for elderly resident who doesn’t need help in paying rent because his pension is more than enough.
SO INSPIRING: Local middle school students bake dozens of cupcakes because their home economics class is doing a baking unit. Their school is fully funded with everything they need.
This feels like calibrating my normal detector
wesley and buttecup couldve made it out of the saw bathroom both alive but lawrence and adam could NOT survive the events of the princess bride
A tragic scene:
My turtle notices the blueberry I put out for him but in his excitement he drops it into his pond. He considers a recovery mission on his own, then turns to me for assistance instead.
Fear not- the berry was retrieved and the turtle was able to enjoy it as intended
are you freaking serious did they actually put steve in minecraft
in my delirious half-awake state i appear to have typed the wrong game
being able to go to work with hickeys and bite marks on your neck is a human right.
the bosses are allowed creampie while the workers are punished for a simple little hickey. in this essay i will examine sexual politics through the lens of Marxian analysi-
OP, what planet are you from on which it's not MORTIFYING to walk around with visible hickies? Of course that's unprofessional; you're a grown ass man. Grow up!!
I’m an adult woman who likes to do adult things with other adult women. sex is a part of life. grow up.
Your behaviors and opinions are absolutely those of a male. And sex is a part of life that should be kept PRIVATE from the rest of the world, especially in a professional setting where absolutely no one has consented to witnessing your sex life.
women love to eat my pussy
i think it's really funny how twerfs got super mad at this post
we justifiably give Biden a lot of shit but I think "at least 3" is the funniest possible response to some right wing dipshit asking you how many genders there are
wait it gets better
Concept: a sorta darker more fucked up paranoid Ford experience where Bill takes full advantage of the brain rewiring thing. Ever determined to make sure Ford stays isolated entirely, he makes sure he can never properly reach out to anyone.
Because he can’t speak any human languages. Instead, Bill swaps around his language centres so that he can only speak, write and understand Euclydian. Just making it so the brain swaps anything it comprehends in for his own language before it processes.
Now of course, Euclydian is a dead language - and Ford is now the proud only other speaker aside from Bill - making Bill consequently the only being in the multiverse he can talk to. At least unless he manages to re-code a universal translator to work with Euclydian god knows how far into his portal years - assuming he enters the portal at all.
Ford, ever the clever bastard, manages to get his postcard to Stanley regardless. He can’t write the address obviously, but what he can do is go to the postbox in the woods and ask it to ‘write the following message in English’, then tape whatever it outputs to the back of the postcard and just hope it did it correctly.
Naturally, it did. And Stan arrives to a Ford who cannot understand him and is speaking in literal colours, somehow. He’s also very insistently shoving a book at him with a desperate expression.
Not sure entirely how that situation would go down per se.
I Defeated the Demon Lord but it Turns Out the Demon Army was Largely Unaffected and I Fell Victim to a Flawed Belief in Great Man Theory
I Executed The Demon Lord With One Flawless Strike And After A Brief Power Struggle The New Demon Government Is Substantially More Committed To The War Because Of Some Reason I Don't Know
I'm a Rando in a Medieval Fantasy World And It Turns Out I Can't Invent Anything Because I Don't Know Much About Science
I'm a Scientist in Another World but the Laws of Physics Work Differently Here and this Crazy Universe Doesn't Even Run on Math
I Tried to Become a Fantasy World Cook but People Who Have Eaten Bland Food Their Entire Lives Can't Tolerate Spice
I Slayed the Demon King but it was a Ceremonial Role with No Political Power
I Isekaied to Another World and the Locals Had No Resistance to My Diseases. The Demon King Died of the Common Cold but So Did Everyone Else.
I was imagining "reverse creep radiohead" as a bit and now I can't stop thinking of "I wish you were special, I'm so fucking special" and laughing
it’s so magical and beautiful that there are sprawling interconnected cave systems carved deep into the earth by various geological forces and you don’t have to go in them. there are miles and miles of stone passageways in total darkness that require you to exhale all the air out of your lungs to squeeze through parts of them and you don’t have to be there. some of these squeezes are underwater and require cave divers to take off their oxygen tanks and push them through ahead of them and me i am above ground looking at the sky as we speak. there are untold subterranean wonders no human has ever seen and i will not be the one to discover them #grateful #blessed
cave divers when they are happily married with kids and beloved by their community but theres a crack in the bottom of a lake called The Devil’s Rotting Esophagus where 57 people have died
(Discussing the ending of The Enigma of Amigara Fault)
Honestly I found the ending of this story pretty uplifting when I read it because for a large part I thought it was a horrible tale of being irresistibly pulled to trap yourself underground and die horribly wedged in place, and then when the monstrous creatures slither out I was like oh great 😊 they got unstuck 😊 what a relief 😊
Mei: In 20 years, I guarantee you, I will be Alphonse’s second wife.
Al: What happened to my first wife?
Mei: Nothing you can prove.
Rebecca: Don’t call me past 12 AM unless we’re dating. You’ve missed office hours.
Riza: Honestly 7pm.
Olivier Mira Armstrong: Please don’t call me at all.
Most unserious animal