oh motherfucker, you owe me the apology

@bewitchingmoonlight

Grave, 29, bi

160.9K posts

what if we all explode

This very production of Orpheus & Eurydice is now available to stream, free, for the month of June.

gravedangerahead

@sydneysageivashkov

My grandma just called and, among other things, said “You have hips. That’s good! Men like hips!” and then she interrupted herself to say “Women like hips. People of your preferred gender like hips. I can never remember” And I was like “Thanks grandma! My preferred gender is none of them, no thanks.” and she was like “Okay, no one will comment on your hips!” very self satisfied, like “aha, I have figured it out” I think like half her grandkids are some variety of not-straight and she can’t always remember which is which but she is the epitome of like “she’s a little confused, but she’s got the spirit!”

Update: I gave it some thought and my estimate was wrong. Of the grandkids that are out, it’s 1/3, not ½

I told my grandma that I’d told my friends about what she said and that some of y’all had said you wished she was your grandma, and she said “Well, you can never have too many grandkids!” So like…consider her your honorary grandma* I guess? *if you want an honorary grandma, that is

Update on my grandma: I told her my hair was standing up, but instead of straight line it was diagonal and she said “That’s okay, you’ve never been straight!” and then laughed so hard at her own joke I thought she was going to drop the phone

Happy almost pride month! Have my confused-but-supportive grandma!

An update: my grandma just called me to ask if I knew it was pride month

Happy pride month!!

You should take some time to read @3liza's post documenting the Phantom Report Bug (which she deserves praise for doing, thank you eliza) and see how fucking broken Tumblr's report tool is. I also want to reiterate something she is once again correct about: no one files bug reports. I have first hand experience working at Tumblr and I remember having to tell web devs on Staff "i saw a post about someone talking about a bug" and they were unaware because no one followed through to file a bug. I have fixed bugs that I saw people posting about that were in my domain (I'm a mobile dev) but were not in the system. No this is not an endorsement of "complain about it enough and eventually someone will see it", this is an endorsement of "file a bug report directly to computer companies and people will most likely read it and probably fix it". I mean it this is not a Tumblr-only thing. I've seen this at every company I've worked for. Just fucking file a bug report please I beg you, software gets complicated and the devs are just unaware that there's a bug until you bring it to your attention. And they want to fix the bug! I promise!

WHAT AM I ALWAYS SAYING TO YOU PEOPLE. COMPLAINING GETS THE GOODS. YOURE NOT ALLOWED TO GET MAD UNTIL YOUVE COMPLAINED ABOUT THE PROBLEM TO SOMEONE WHOSE JOB IT IS TO FIX IT

POLITELY

Oh come on lady, you can't deny a man his gaycation

You must surrender yourself mind, body and soul to the gaycation or be destroyed

Someone on reddit already suggested a sapphibbatical

Someone on reddit

already suggested a

sapphibbatical

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

mechanica1-hands

how could you leave out the best part—the aquarium bit

"become a fish" (gay)

men will jump through an entire circus' worth of hoops rather than admitting they're bi

helpless--romantics

theivorybilledwoodpecker

The level of mental hoops that guy had to jump through to say to his wife, "No, honey! Of course I wouldn't be cheating on you! Sex during gaycations doesn't count!"

theivorybilledwoodpecker

Holy fucking shit! It gets trippier!

I mean, I feel horrible for the OP and her SIL...but "surrender to the gaycation" made me laugh way more than I should have.

this is an insane story

flickering-leaves

“Some men never return”

Helpppppp 😭

brightlotusmoon

Um…here’s the reddit link? I’m speechless.

Don't worry honey, all the other men on gaycation aren't real people and they stop existing after. Hey, where's all the homophoboa coming from suddenly?

That's the beauty of the gaycation!

authoratmidnight

It get wilder. I only found out about this b/c of a youtube video reading the Gaycation post but, this isn't even the first one.

7 years ago someone posted this-

And 5 years a different user posted this-

What is happening with these people??? What weird ass cult did they find??

I read the shithead guy’s rambling in Nagito Komaeda’s voice

"some men never return because they're "totally feminized" into the state of permanent "pseudo-gayness"" is my favourite line out of the entire post

victusinveritas

unconventiononthelawofthesea

drinking and smoking marijuana in public in front of children

special-lucky-chosen-one

my nephew, who is like 11 or 12, is playing “5D Chess With Multiverse Time Travel”, which is exactly what it says on the tin, and I have never been more terrified of the youth of today

special-lucky-chosen-one

here’s a sample picture from the Steam page:

what the hell is this

eusocia-deactivated20210518

eusocia-deactivated20210518

platypusisnotonfire

Wow I’ve never wanted a game more

platypusisnotonfire

Oh

Yes

This was definitely worth my 15 bucks

platypusisnotonfire

I’m already in love

what

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now i’m thinking….maybe this is the good luck post

…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment

likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post

coffee-or-hot-cocoa

i need all the help i can get for finals

Hey so

the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like.

So you know.

This might be the real one, y’all.

I could use some luck

The good luck post! \o/

I love you being trans I love you trans women i love you gender exploration I love you self discovery

[link to the Reddit post]

[ID: two screenshots of a reddit post on r/offmychest by user awaythrowjessie, titled "My girlfriend made me realize I'd be happier as a woman". it reads as follows:

I am 33, born male, and have had major self image issues my entire life. I hated seeing myself in mirrors, pictures, you name it. I honestly thought it was kinda normal so I just accepted it.

Now about 3 weeks ago I was at my girlfriends house, we have been dating a little over a year now, and have plans to move in together soon. Now recently she has shaved her head to support of her friends with cancer (side note thenl treatments for that friend are going very well). She had since bought some wigs to wear while her hair grows back out. We were joking around as I have male pattern baldness, and when she went to the bathroom I jokingly threw a wig on and waited. She came our, saw me we laughed for a bit and she said "you know I think you'd make a pretty girl" we laughed some more but those words triggered something in me.

Cut to a few night's ago she asked why I've been acting weird lately and I just told her how i was feeling. She said "alright let's do this " and when I asked what she told me she was going to give me a bit of a makeover and put me in one of her dresses and if i liked it then good. I was nervous and asked what if I did like it would she still be attracted to me. She just responded with "Baby you know I'm bi, guy or girl you're still mine." Her words reassured me honestly i love her so much.

Anyways she finished the make up, fitted a wig on me perfectly and got me in a dress and even helped me put a bra on and stuff in a little so i could see what breasts would kinda look like on me. Now I expected to see myself in the mirror, laugh this off and move on right, but I didn't. She did an unbelievable job, like I looked like I had been born a woman, and when I saw myself in the mirror for the first time in my entire life, I liked what I saw. I probably stared at myself for a good 10 minutes before she finally asked me something. She asked what I wanted to be called. After a few seconds I said Jessie, I always like the name Jessie. She whispered in my ear "well Jessie, you look beautiful." And that was it, I knew this was who i wanted to be.

I'm nervous now though, my friends will accept it but my family are, well let's just say not very progressive. But this is what I want.

end ID]

there’s an update!!

[link]

[ID: A screenshot of a Reddit post from r/offmychest by user awaythrowjessie, titled “I went out as Jessie for the first time and I was honestly surprised”. The screenshot reads: Hello everyone, this is an official follow up to my previous post that went viral and caught me off guard.

So me and my girlfriend, (Who has officially agreed to disclose her name lol) Emily, had gone shopping for me to get me outfits and the like. Earlier today i put on one of those outfits and officially faced the world as Jessie for the first time.

To say I was nervous would be an understatement. We went to our local mall and I was almost shaking, thankfully Emily calmed me down and said if anyone said anything mean to me she'd handle it, then playfully threw up her hands like a boxer lol. We stepped inside and started walking around going in stores and I noticed something, no one was staring. Like at all. I live in an area that still has issues with LGBTQ people so I was afraid of staring or aggressive people. But none of that happened. People greeted me, the store workers were kind and nobody looked at me like I was weird. I felt comfortable, and Emily even said she saw someone check me put, though i doubt that.

This was unbelievable to me and honestly I felt like myself. I feels nice that I can go out without worrying about Judging eyes.

To all the supporters of my previous post thank you, you have made me happy. Ill keep this account going to let you join me in my journey and once I'm confident enough I'll post up some pics of me and Emily too :) end ID]

I'd much rather people reblogged this version of the post than any other at this time btw

Honestly crying right now. Wherever Jessie and Emily are at this moment, I hope they're doing well.

This is so similar to my wife's story I'm smiling and crying at the same time. I love it every time someone realizes they can live as their authentic self.

#stories #pride

(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)

slowly creating a moodboard for knowing and perceiving gay characters

Okay that’s real… and so the web weaving continues

dieverwandlung1975

that-vexaholic-cryptid

THE BIRDCAGE — 1996, dir. Mike Nichols

#the birdcage #that face touch at the end... I feel a certain way

Can @raccoonmilf vouch for this? Super rad if true.

Yes it’s true

its funny how these people have basically reinvented respectability politics from thin air. this post is from the last few DAYS! Anyway good post for blocking people

sidenote: I really notice how cissies so so so desperately want to claim the aesthetics of being a "freak" but will say shit like this. no 'friendlyfreakazoid' you aren't actually a freak just because you like gothic shit or whatever the fuck your stupid blog is about

helpeverythingiscats

It’s always these fucking people

oh motherfucker, you owe me the apology @bewitchingmoonlight - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag