Y/N was still in her studio, the latest beats she had been working on pouring from the speakers that Yoongi had helped her install just a few days ago; when Ay Yan messaged her. She wished that she could crumble then and there on the cold wooden floor, her naked knees trying to ground themselves. Or if she could scream and cry out of frustration that something like that came back to haunt her when finally she found a place that she could call her own.
But nothing came. She stared at the message for a little while, the words from the article still fresh in her mind. Then, she let out an exasperated sigh as if prepared to be defeated by the ghosts of her past that somehow always caught up to her. She just wished they were not cruel enough to make her believe that things might be looking up for her.
“Fuck”, she had typed and turned the phone off. Like her body was used to the drill that followed after such a news outbreak, she got up and turned the music off, saving all files several times. Then, she looked around for things that were her own and collected them in one spot. Ay Yan would pick these up later, she thought and closed the lights to the studio.
How sad must she have looked, she wondered as she locked the door behind her. The savage and cool Y/N who had never once controlled her sass or broken down in front of people felt like she was delivering her walk of shame as she walked down the corridors- making sure that no one was around.
However, sound of a door clicking shut interrupted her trance and she immediately raised her shoulders high, placing thick black sunglasses on her eyes as she flipped her hair and carried forwards, hoping that whoever it was would be fooled by her act.
“Y/N”, it was the familiar voice of Yoongi and Y/N felt herself feel so small. The news article had made it a point to link her to BTS. The boys had never once caused a scandal and here she was tarnishing their reputation when they had been nothing but gracious towards her. From late night drinks and dinner with them to celebrating each small milestone, from setting up her studio to the cake they brought for her birthday- for the first time she had felt welcomed. And this is what she would leave them in return.
“Yes?”, she replied, turning to face the rosy cheeked boy who was staring at her with a confused look. Yoongi was good at reading people but for the first time he wished he was not because the woman in front of him felt so bare to him, he could not keep looking at her out of shame.
But an eye contact was important right now, so he persisted and tried to sound as casual as he could when he asked, “Is the song done? I thought we could send the demo in by tomorrow afternoon.”
Y/N’s hollow chuckle echoed through the empty hall, “I guess you have not heard, Suga. I leave today. I have emailed you the files and I’ll leave all my passcodes with the department. It was great working with you”.
She had barely taken a step further when he interrupted, “No, Y/N. You are mistaken. It was a contract for the entire album and you can take the night off but you should be there in the studio at 12 tomorrow. We have an important meeting.”
Just like that, the boy walked back inside the Genius Lab leaving Y/N far beyond confused. Was he not aware? Of course, he would be. It was everywhere! So had the company not made a decision yet?
Turning on her phone, she called Ay Yan, hoping to get some answers.
-------------------------------------
Yoongi pushed his chair back and stared at the screen. Articles about Y/N crowded his screen, beats and music at the very far back of his mind now. The claims that the recent article had made were bigger than anything before. Previous news would be about any clothing she would wear, boys she was speculated to be dating, the lack of new music or just baseless accusations that made no sense. But this time, she was announced to be at rehab where she was treated after drug abuse that helped her with her performances.
Yoongi had seen her performances. She was not like other female performers and that was why she was so incredibly famous that till date people could not get over her and the sudden changes that she introduced after disappearing for years. She had debuted at a very young age and her songs often dealt with the sexualization of young girls and boys. She was calling out the entire industry and people loved it. Her songs ranged from rock head bangers and glitter to soft ballads and florals. She was one of a kind. She still is, Yoongi thought as she opened the files she had just emailed him.
It did not make sense that her talent came out of drugs. He had seen firsthand people do it, it was common in the industry but that is why he also knew how to look for faint signs of it in the way you perform and act. Y/N never showed those.
But then why would she quietly pack her stuff and leave? Isn’t that an admission of guilt?
Frustrated, he ran his fingers through his hair as another clip played on his screen.
I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost
The room is on fire, invisible smoke
And all of my heroes die all alone
Help me hold onto you
I've been the archer,
I've been the prey
Screaming, who could ever leave me, darling?
But who could stay?
Her faint voice echoed throughout his studio and Yoongi realized that even though he was not sure about anything related to her, he was sure of one thing: this is not a good reason to let her go.
Fuck I’m at a fencing tournament and literally a minute after I reblogged this my dad told me that he talked to the point people and I’m probably going to win a medal.
I need to follow up to say I reblogged this last night, and this morning I got some of the best news of my life, like, a life dream come true news thing.
FUCK, I though it was just another lucky meme but LISTEN. Since a week ago I was waiting a phone call to confirm me if I got a job or not in my university. I reblogged this yesterday’s night “just for fun and because I don’t want any bagel to be mad with me”, and today’s afternoon, while I was losing my time as always, the professor I was supposed to work with called me and asked me for my personal information to start working with her.
summary: estimating bts actual heights because this has been an argument forever and i also am confused. im using hikaku sitatter as a way to try and confirm my theories. i’ll leave the heights in cm for you to check yourself and see if you agree. if you dont want to go through all of my explaining of why i think their whatever height, all the heights will be listed at the bottom as tldr
It was supposed to be a temporary arrangement, a compromise. But when Yoongi starts taking interest in the media villain, Y/N, he realizes that not all with horns are monsters. He says he only wants to rewrite her story, she wishes he would just leave before he discovers secrets that are worse.
Contrary to his advocacy for living life on the edge and just doing what you please, emotions were something that Jin had a hard time expressing. Always with a smile on his face and all the dark thoughts at bay, he had trained himself to only show optimism out of it all.
However, when you burst into tears in front of him over how you were being reallocated indefinitely, he failed to find the silver lining in it. He opened his mouth, closed it again then opened it again, trying to find words that could help, a joke, perhaps?
But his own thoughts were all over the place; what did this mean for you two? Will you ever come back? How could he live without you, now?
There were no answers. No key to solution or anything that could help. One of the most successful artists in the world, the one that was dubbed to have everything was losing the one thing he actually craved for and could do nothing about it. So, he just reached towards you, engulfing you in his arms as you soaked his t shirt with your tears.
As you finally fell asleep while crying in his arms, Jin looked at you and felt envy. You could cry so freely yet there he sat with the urge to scream but nothing came out.
So, he did what he could do best. He watched you through the night, gave you the best through the remaining days and as he watched you board your flight with tears in your eyes, he flipped open his phone and typed, “I will miss you”.
Yoongi or Suga
“You better move, Min Yoongi, the bags are not going to pack themselves”, you tried to shake off your boyfriend who was clinging onto your body like a cat looking for attention.
“Maybe then I won’t have to go”, his voice was all muffled with his face digging in the soft flesh of your stomach.
“Honey, Manager Sejin would drag you from bed and buy you a new wardrobe for the tour if that is what it took”.
“I hate this”, he whined again and you chuckled wondering how the “savage” Suga of BTS turned into this adorable boy who was complaining about leaving you for 6 months.
“You don’t”, you corrected him and he did not even bother to acknowledge it, knowing that you knew him better than he could ever explain.
You pushed your fingers through his freshly cut hair, much shorter than before, and massaged his head, kneading your fingers where needed as you whispered slowly, “We won’t even realize how quickly these months will pass by. You’ll be busy with your schedule and I’ll be with mine. And just before you go to sleep, I’ll call you and you can tell me about all the places you see and the people you meet”.
Your words were like a lullaby to him and Yoongi resisted mentioning how he would miss your touch every second of the day because he does not want to just tell you about his adventures, he would rather hold your hand and experience it all with you by his side.
So, the next morning before he left for the airport, he pushed the signed copy of your favourite book in your hand and only watched from the car window as you gasped at the tickets that fell from the book with a little note: “All the places to see and people to meet, whenever you have the time”.
Hoseok or J-Hope or Hobi
When Hobi had accepted the request to MC at the end of the year music festival, he had looked at your name on the list of special MCs and thought that he would not care. It had been 3 years since you decided to up and leave after a rumour erupted about your relationship with him.
He had expected you to stay by his side and see it through and he had promised himself that he would never let it hurt you but your first instinct was to run and it had taken him a lot of time to accept it.
But when you walked down the red carpet in a tight fitted emerald green gown and the same dazzling smile that he was always a fan of, he felt himself standing in his empty living room three years ago, trying to call but to no response.
He wanted to question you then and there but he was also adamant on showing that he did not care. So, he bowed down to you respectfully, keeping a safe amount of distance between you two. He would occasionally look in your direction while answering the reporters but his gaze never paused, neither did any emotion flicker through it and you felt yourself die inside a little.
After the fiasco all those years ago when your company had banned you from contacting anyone from BTS or even HYBE, you had finally found the opportunity to be near the boy that still owned your heart. You had carefully picked a dress he would love on you, making sure you were styled to perfection as you went through all the words you would say to him. But now you felt like a fool, “What did you expect, Y/N?”, you thought to yourself throughout the night.
Finally, before the last announcement, when Hobi entered the room after his performance, his shirt unbuttoned at the top and his hair disheveled from the heavy dancing, you could not resist but stare at him.
“Do you really not love me anymore?”
Your sudden question made Hobi pause his movements where he was fixing his shirt and going through the ending lines. He looked at you, a question in his eyes and confidence covering him like armour. He did not look like the soft and sweet J-Hope that the world knew but who could blame him.
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me, Hobi...”.
“It is J-Hope to you or sunbaenim”, he interrupted you, “Actually why are you even talking to me?”
“Hop..., H...”, you decided on not using anything, “Don’t you want to know?”
“Know what, Y/N-ssi? Do you think after all this time it even matters?”, he asked and you wished you could cry.
“I know you care”, you said in a soft voice which lacked confidence and it would have shattered you if Hobi had said otherwise but he was not a liar.
“I do, you’re right. I still want to know but I also know that nothing you can say will change what you did. Even if things were difficult then, two more years followed and you expect me to understand that there was not a single day you could reach out to me until we are here in this dressing room with no one around. How convenient!”, he sighed deeply, his eyes now far away as if urging someone to walk in and end this conversation.
So you did just that. It would have been so easy if Hobi had given all this speech in anger but the indifference had been something that shocked you. There was nothing left to say.
So without another word, you both did what was required; finished the shoot with bright smiles on your faces and J-Hope’s mischievous attitude Then, he bowed towards you politely, formally and before you could return the gesture, he was gone.
Namjoon or RM
“I can’t do this anymore”, you screamed between the heated argument and watched as his face twisted into that of confusion.
“This is not working out, Namjoon. I want this to just end”, you spoke a lot slower now, your voice hoarse from all the screaming and crying. Your eyes did not once meet his because you knew that it had taken a lot of strength for you to say these words and looking at him will you make you walk back on them.
Namjoon did not understand. What happened? What did he do? How can he fix this? Were you serious? You could not be. It was not even that big of a fight.
Sitting on his knees, he tried to reach out to you, but you held back. Namjoon was now in the reactive mode. He wanted to know the problem so he could determine the reasons behind it and solve it.
“What is wrong, Y/N? Did I do something? This fight...I did not even scream or do anything. I just was trying to calm you down, I...”, he spoke slowly as if he was afraid of hurting you.
“You never do anything, Joon. I wish you would just scream at me, or just fight. I wish you would be vigorous with me rather than trying to stay calm. I am not your business associate that you try to find the right words to please me. I want you, all of you. The good, the bad and the ugly. But I never get it”.
You got up and left the room, locking yourself in the bathroom and Namjoon just sat there trying to comprehend your words. He knew what you meant, he knew that there was no lie in what you had just uttered but he did not know how to help it. For years, he had perfected himself in being this person who knows what to say or do at the right time but he wished there was a book for the etiquette of stopping a person you loved from walking away. Namjoon loved to write about love but polishing his words till they were easier to swallow for the general masses had made them too robotic for a lover.
He got you. You who loved to speak her mind no matter the consequences. You who loved to scream and shout and cry and laugh like no one was watching. You could afford to do it all, but he could not.
So, when you finally unlocked the door of the bathroom and grabbed your car keys, with a night bag on your shoulders, he did not stop you.
“Honey, I am home”, Jimin announced dramatically as he entered his apartment, quickly taking off his shoes and slipping into the home slippers- his heart still thumping in his ear from running all the way to you.
He had almost screamed in frustration when the group was called for some urgent recordings for the new album that morning. He had looked at you curled up around his body, your big brown eyes staring up at him quizzically and he almost said no because you would be going back the next day and Jimin did not want to spend a single second away from you.
From the moment you had announced that you would finally be visiting him after being apart for over 6 months, he had been on his toes making calls and plans to assure that nothing would disturb him. But you insisted that he go to work, “At least, I will be able to pack my stuff without you clinging on to my body”, you had joked and he left hurriedly so that he could be back soon.
But as soon as he walked into the bedroom, his eyes caught sight of the suitcases neatly lined at the farthest corner of the wall, ready to be tagged and carried- Jimin suddenly felt like somebody was plucking his heart out of his chest and without uttering another word, he quietly walked towards you, standing in front of the closet and folding your shirts neatly, and engulfed you in a warm hug; his arms wrapped around your waist and his face deeply snuggled in the crook of your neck.
Jimin inhaled the sweet scent of lavender mixed with your body musk and realized that it was home to him. Your hands gently carressed his arms as he gently placed kisses on your neck and you understood every word he couldn’t say.
“I wish I could ask you to stay”, Jimin whispered slowly and you wished you could take away all the pain he was feeling. It was not easy to part over and over again but your studies were important for you and it was just a matter of a few years, then you both would be in the same city. Until then, this was the choice you both had made.
Turning around, you looked him in the eye before pulling him in for a passionate kiss, growing fervent and rough with all the goodbyes between you two.
That night, as you both lay in a tangled mess of limbs and rushed hands, you both silently promised each other to wait, no matter how long it took.
Taehyung or V
“5 am tomorrow. Be there till 3 30″.
Taehyung read the message from the notification bar and slid it across the screen, making it disappear. Then, he turned the ring on mute and pocketed his phone, he did not want to be disturbed tonight.
Standing at the door of the art gallery, for the first time, his eyes did not linger on the beautiful pieces of art that decorated the wall. Instead, he searched for a familiar figure and the same silky locks of hair that were tangled around his long slender fingers all those years ago.
Granted, he had not seen you since the time you both met in Italy, even then surrounded by art and music- he had searched desperately for you ever since. And it seemed like fate had decided to have mercy on him when he heard about a musical art exhibition at Prague and remembered the way you had laid your head on his chest, your hair spilling on his bare body, and talked about that particular idea being your dream.
You stood in front of a massive painting in the far end of the room, still as awestruck by the strokes and colors on the canvas as you were the first time a boy with a boxy smile had watched you unwrap it. You remember holding onto this giant board of colors through years of remote silence and wondering if it was just a mirage or the boy that had left without a goodbye had once promised that he would come back.
“Is this one for sale?”, a voice broke you out of your reverie and if it wasn’t for the fact that you had watched him on social media like an addict, you would have forced your brain to consider it all a cause of sleepless nights and alcohol in your system. But it was him, it was Kim Taehyung and suddenly you were 22 again with small dreams and a boy you were irrecoverably in love with.
Without even glancing at his way again you replied as calmly as you could muster, “No. You cannot make a home out of this one”.
Taehyung almost flinched at your words but he reminded himself that he deserved it.
“Home only demands love”, he spoke only audible enough for your ears.
“It demands the presence of that love at least, not the promise of one. Not words or music or stupid paintings, Mr. Kim Taehyung”, you had now turned towards him, your eyes boring into his and even though your angry eyes met his remorseful ones, the only thing you both could recognize in them was the love that had been there all those years ago.
“I missed you, Y/N”, he whispered as he suddenly pulled you into him. His arms holding you tight and you almost stood their motionless until a lone tear slipped down your cheeks and you returned the hug.
“You’re too late, Tae. Too late”.
He did not reply for a while, not wanting to let the moment slip away until it had to.
But when he had finally memorized your scent and the familiar contours of your body and how it fit in his like pieces of a puzzle, he pulled back. His hand slid down your arms until they held your slender fingers in his, his thumb gently grazing the big diamond on your ring finger, “I know”.
Jungkook
Jungkook loves being surrounded with familiarity. Familiar faces that he loves and trusts, a bowl of ramyeon in a foreign city, loud cheers from fans that had been there all along, a ticket always back home and you. Perhaps, that is a reason why he hated things that disturbed the peace he had found in his life.
But when Covid-19 hit the world, it was like his world tilted on its axes and all that was familiar was lost. Already reeling from the shock of the tour being cancelled, Jungkook had held the phone in his hand and couldn’t help but breakdown as you told him that you had no idea when you could fly to Korea.
You had expanded your business to Korea as well which made it easier for you to spend plenty of time with your boyfriend and you both had gotten used to the travelling if it meant being together for most part of the year.
Jungkook was not taking it well. He would spend hours at the gym then hours dancing till he could not feel anything other than the excruciating pain in his body. He would barely talk to you, only giving one word answers and never answering video calls- his heart knowing well that it could not bear looking at you and being unable to touch you or feel you.
However, he loved you and as days passed on and the unfamiliarity of Covid-19 became familiar, Jungkook could finally see how much he had hurt you. Even through all that, you had maintained a brave face and been normal with him in the moments he would actually talk to you. You knew Jungkook and perhaps that is why you could not blame him for acting that way. You knew that this boy is made of love and purity and it would not be long till he finds his way back to you, like he always did.
So, when one night you prepared to go to bed, a message popped up on your phone.
“Thank you for making me realize that we can get through anything”
And along with it was an acoustic version of a song Jungkook had recently written and was yet to be released.
As still with you played in your empty dark apartment, Jungkook’s sweet voice bouncing off the walls and hugging you, you finally let your tears fall as you whispered the words that you both craved to hold each and say:
andulkaphoto
turnnoffyourmind
romaincrisis
prguitarman
gamechangershow
vaporwave
2087
stormborns
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
