Musings of a Monstrous Man

He/him. Bi. I love you and I think you are awesome.

[bimetallic-monster-blog]

This is going to be my last post on Tumblr for a while. My mental health is acting up, and Tumblr Discourse is contributing in its own way. I need to get away from this website.

Only fair then that I end with some Discourse. I just don’t see the problem with ace people being in our community. I don’t. All the arguments make no sense to me. The resource argument least of all - there are rich ace people who could contribute plenty to the LGBTQ+ community.  We in the LGBT side of things were even more broke in the past than we are now. One reason we banded together was to collectively help ourselves out of poverty.

Instead of ace people draining our resources, I see us throwing away the contributions of people who could really help us and denying help to people who really need it. That’s not who I want this community to be.

I don’t get this “collective experiences of homophobia, transphobia, and gender based oppression that asexual people don’t share” stuff either. Ace people violate gender roles just as much as any of us.

The worst argument, though, is “cishets invading our spaces”. Have any of you ever actually met a cisgender straight person? Why on earth would they want to be one of us? They’re sitting pretty in their ivory towers of privilege, happy to oppress us to get what they want and throw us away once they get it. I have seen cis, straight allies use their privilege over me unconsciously, despite years of actively trying to get rid of it. You really think straight people *want* to climb down and get in the mud with us and throw away everything they’ve taken from us? To throw away the privilege that’s so ingrained in them that they couldn’t stop themselves from using it if they tried? I don’t see it.

If ace people want in, it’s because they need in. The “cishets” can do plenty of damage to us from the outside.

This ace discourse feels so much like the first gay man I talked to after I came out, and how he told me I “wasn’t queer enough” and smothered in “straight-passing privilege” and needed to “sit [my] ass down and listen to someone who’s really struggled.” Even the nicest people on Tumblr feel like that, with the contempt they throw at each other. Ace discourse, fandom wars, it doesn’t matter. I can’t do this right now. I’m out.

[bimetallic-monster-blog]

Okay, finished watching Voltron. Season 5? Take it or leave it. Season 6? SEASON 6 WAS AMAZING.

Seriously, what happened to this show. I haven’t seen a quality jump like that in ... forever.

[bimetallic-monster-blog]

Most Media with a bi character:  Dances around whether or not the character is bi, bisexuality only used for jokes, “I don’t like labels.” 

The Adventure Zone Season 2: “This main character is bisexual, also she shoots fire out of her hands.”

[bimetallic-monster-blog]

Thanks, Tumblr, for putting recommended blogs in my dashboard even after I spent 20 minutes in settings trying to turn them off.

Thanks, Tumblr, for putting recommended posts in my dashboard with spoilers for the TV shows I watch. Big, huge spoilery pictures.

Thanks, Tumblr, for a search feature that’s less than useless.

But, hey, at least you’re not serving anti-LGBTQ ads to me like youtube! Oh, wait, I have adblock. You probably are.

[egofuck-deactivated20180804]

answering the question of “why are people gay” and “why are people trans” only benefits eugenicists

[chucktaylorupset]

the human race is not at the stage where it deserves to answer the question “why are people gay or trans” because the next question that ends up being asked is “how do we make them stop”

[bimetallic-monster-blog]

Voltron

I never finished my reviews of Voltron, and I’m watching season 5 now. I think i can sum up my thoughts of the show like this:

The music is fantastic

The writing quality is wildly inconsistent.

Pidge is The Best.

It’s been months since I watched it, and I’d thought I’d cooled on it enough I’d never finished it, but I will.

[queensugardaily]

Bonus:

[theroguefeminist]

The people who say teachers should never use collective punishment are the same who say teachers should never make an example of anyone. Which basically leaves you with next to no options if a large percentage of the class is acting up, particularly if you’re a substitute teacher or new.

[hundondestiny]

Teachers should not be disciplining children, period. I get that kids can be rowdy and disrespectful, but there’s a difference between deescalating or discussing an issue and handing down punishments and discipline that don’t do anything but essentially make the children dislike you and the school more than they already do. 

Some kids might just be assholes, but most misbehavior from students in school comes from underlying issues that frequently include not feeling stimulated or engaged which makes acting out a pot-stir that makes class more interesting. And in the case of many students of color there is the phenomena of bringing in the “well if everyone thinks I’m xyz I’ll show them xyz” because that follows us from birth to death. 

So on and so forth ad nauseum because children are people who face a disproportionate amount of neglect, punishment, and ridicule as our social system essentially treats children as surplus populations and parental property at the same time.

There’s a clear power differential in all classrooms that establishes a particular tone, and that becomes worse when you have teachers who don’t know how to control their own emotions or take a step back before screaming at students, publicly humiliating kids, etc. I have some teachers I really love from my grade school experience, but the fact is grade school is a very traumatic experience for most children of color, children with disabilities, poor children, etc. because that is where we are most routinely exposed to mistreatment from peers, teachers, and administrators, day in and day out. 

There are more productive responses to misbehavior than punishment. If redirection doesn’t work, open discussions might. If a handful of kids are talking, the “would you like us to wait until you’re done?” tends to call attention to it without escalating it. There’s far more ways than penalizing students to handle kids being obnoxious.

[theroguefeminist]

You can’t discuss every problem. If a kid is bullying other kids for example, I can’t just use conflict resolution in that instance because one kid is being abusive or bigoted toward another kid. There have to be consequences for their actions. Logical consequences are important for kids to learn morality. They might dislike me, but they’ll learn from that experience. A kid needs to learn that punching another child is wrong. He may need to lose recess or another privilege one day or whatever the punishment is. Of course I engage in conflict resolution and discussion when appropriate, but to never discipline kids is not tenable. It’s simply not.

I mentioned in another post that kids may have underlying issues. That’s why I mentioned that it’s important to address those issues and also use positive reinforcement. I also try to connect with children who have obvious behavior issues. I try to form bonds with them. But there also have to be consequences. While engaging students is important, it’s also simply not possible in a room of thirty kids for every single kid to not be entertained every single moment.

I am very sensitive to issues of disability and racism and classism that impact kids and I also consciously keep that in mind when I engage with them. I’m not perfect, but I try to be fair and clear with kids about why anything is happening. That’s why consistency is important and establishing trust and a bond with students is ideal. When they want to please you, when they want you to be proud of them, they try harder. Consequences on their own won’t work for that reason, but if there are none at all, kids WILL push boundaries and make other kids unsafe, and that’s not good.

I disagree with your assertion that kids are especially oppressed in our society. I think there are unfair aspects of our culture that disadvantage youth and children and I believe in the empiowerment of youth, but theoretical models that posit children are especially oppressed really don’t acknowledge how the most privileged children in our society are coddled and spoiled in certain ways that actually promote segregation between races and classes. Children need to be taught morality and values. They need boundaries and structure. Their brains aren’t fully developed. They need guidance.

Teachers who yell or are abusive are obviously terrible people, but honestly, I’ve met many kindhearted and devoted teachers. The answer to punishment and trauma among disadvantaged kids isn’t doing away with consequences altogether. In fact, as a substitute teacher I have BEEN in environments where kids of color and disabled kids don’t face major consequences or boundaries and guess what? These classrooms are chaotic and unsafe. Kids regularly hit each other and fight. Classes are hijacked by distractions and the kids don’t learn anything. It’s horrible and it only contributes to gaps in education and privilege because good teachers leave these schools and never come back. Again, you seems to be speaking as someone who has never worked in a school before. I have worked in more schools than I can count. I’ve seen different schools and different systems. I’ve been in the position of a disabled student fucked over by the system AND a teacher grappling with the best way to handle a disobedient student. It’s a complex issue, but getting rid of all consequences is not the answer.

All of your suggestions are divorced from reality. You can’t waste time talking it out every time kids are disrespectful or disruptive–in fact, some kids do these things for MORE attention, so sometimes ignoring them until they stop is best; it depends on the situation. Obviously, I try to read every situation and pick and choose my battles. I don’t engage in “punishment” in this oppressive blindly punitive way you’re describing. But managing children, whether it means teaching, babysitting, or even parenting DOES require consequences and positive and negative reinforcement at the very least. See this post for more discussion on child psychology and why consequences are important.

[garlicyogurtenthusiast]

Collective punishment is literally a war crime.

[theroguefeminist]

This was literally in response to this post. Y’all must really hate teachers if you compare us to war criminals. 

[bimetallic-monster-blog]

I have seen entire classrooms gang up on a single child. I have seen collective sexism, especially, tear kids to shreds. When I do my job right, not only does collective punishment work, every child in the classroom understands the reason for the punishment, accepts it, and feels safer knowing that cruelty is not tolerated in the place they spend most of their waking hours in.

  It’s one tool in a toolbox that’s a mile deep and a mile wide. I had a student direct a homophobic slur directly at me once, and I didn’t punish them. I held them after class and we had an honest conversation, and by the end of that conversation we understood each other. I use whatever tool’s best for the situation at hand.

Some teachers can’t do that, and they yell and their ratio of positive to negative reinforcement is way out of wack, and their kids are miserable. Their classrooms reinforce all sorts of damaging systems, like poverty and ableism. That doesn’t mean collective punishment is a war crime. It means that teachers are underpaid, undertrained, and undersupported. Instead of calling us war criminals, give us the tools we need to succeed.

[theroguefeminist]

danielle-mertina relied to omg seeing fellow teachers replying on my posts to…

People have no idea what goes into teaching. But everybody thinks they do because they’ve been in the educational system.

I totally agree. I think another issue is that teaching is so undervalued in our culture that people don’t appreciate the skills required to do it, so they can easily overlook the challenges of teaching and believe they’re qualified to speak with expertise on it. I find this issue on tumblr ironic considering that people constantly state “there’s no such thing as unskilled labor” re: retail, the food industry and customer service (and I agree), but they don’t apply this to teaching and think that with zero teaching experience they know better than teachers with years or even decades of experience.

[bimetallic-monster-blog]

Teaching is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. There’s no skill ceiling, only more and more places to improve. I’ve been at it for years and I feel like I’ve scratched the surface of what I can do. People criticize teachers all the time, and then look at me in complete wonder when I can handle their kids better than they can.

[bimetallic-monster-blog]

4chan invents a #droptheb hashtag. I check it out, hasn’t gotten much traction. Twitter suggests a #droptheT hashtag. I check it out, hasn’t gotten much traction either. It looks like for once the terrible awful thing didn’t happen? I hope so.

[jads-abum-rat]

[vespertineflora]

[audio transcript]

Woman: He’s fine. He misses you.

Man: Give him my love.

Woman: Will do. 

[woman looks at ridiculous oversized bird]

Woman: SQUAWK

Bird: SQUAWK

THE END

[nitewrighter]

You know that whole trope where like, the protagonists get teleported up into the aliens’ spaceship or base or whatever and the alien appears to them only it doesn’t appear as it really looks like but rather, since it doesn’t want to scare the protagonists, it takes the form of something we find familiar and pleasing and is like, “I look like your dad or whatever–is this form okay?” Like I think about that trope a lot and I think like, what if the alien couldn’t pick out a form via telepathy and only had earth media to try and decide what form would scare its human guests least and be accepted almost immediately and honestly the more I think about it the more options for what form that might be are just really fun to me.

“I have chosen the form of your earth playwright and composer Lin-Manuel Miranda–do not be afraid. I come in peace.”

“Greetings. I am Glofnorbo of the cloud you call the ‘Pegasus Nebula.’ I have scanned your earth media from afar and empirically decided that you would find the form of the one known as Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson most pleasing. I have come to confer with your leaders.” 

“Do not be panic. I come in peace. I have assumed the form of your insectoid demigoddess ‘Hatsune Miku’ so that we may communicate peacefully without my true form horrifying you.” 

[nineprotons]

“It was decided that I would assume the form of your ‘Mister Rogers’ in order to best welcome your world to the galactic neighborhood without frightening your kind.”

[gentlemanbones]

“…So did your colleague take on the form of Jack Black for that reason too?”

“No, that is the actual Jack Black. We do not know how to make him leave.”

[bimetallic-monster-blog]

Sometimes gender gets real confusing to me. The distinctions between gender start blurring, and at that point I feel like I don’t understand it at all. I know I’m a man, but I don’t know why. I’m attracted to women, but I don’t know what that means.

[bff2sweet]

do u ever get like water hungry…

[post-punk-princess-deactivated2]

Thirsty?

[bff2sweet]

water hungry

[debrides]

I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

[lesbirdan]

I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”

[hermionegranger]

when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”

[mugsandpugs1-deactivated2019010]

One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”

[thomrainierskies]

One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”

She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.

[mirab3lle]

Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed

[icouldwritebooks]

Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.

[crimeronan]

i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it

but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”

as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”

there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”

the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”

[agrestenoir]

one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.” we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”

[gin-and-eschatonic]

I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like “behind” and “coming around” as I maneuver through spaces and around people.

Which, actually, not such a bad thing; I’m a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.

Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a “coming with a knife” while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.

[harold-theyre-thespians]

I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her “Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex”

[narwhalsarefalling]

i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.

[wren-likethe-bird]

I have woken up in a cold sweat saying “is that for here or to go?”

[la-mancha-screwjob]

Every time a friend thanks me, and I respond with “gladly” or “my pleasure”, I die completely 1000% inside

[fair-itself]

I work at a plasma donation center. When processing donors, we call them by name, they walk up to the counter, and then we ask for their name and donor number. One time, instead of saying “Robert” I hollered “Name and donor number!?” into a full waiting room. Three people started announcing their names and donor numbers before we all realized that I fucked up.

[maplefiasco]

In college, I was a barista at Borders (remember Borders, you guys?!) I once drove through Taco Bell on my way home after a shift. When the cashier said, “okay, that’ll be $5.46!” I cheerfully responded, “Do you have a Borders rewards card?”

[iamthatbeast]

I have dealt with so many difficult customers over the years that I used to angrily call my dog “Sir” when I was mad at him.

[widonotts]

My first job was at my nearest Panera, and after coming home from a ten-hour Sunday morning shift, I was exhausted; but when my mom called me to come downstairs, instead of replying in the grumpy teenagerish tone I usually would, I said in my cheeriest, fakest voice, “Not a problem at all, let me just check with my manager!” before realizing my mistake.

[artwlw]

my coworker went to back up the cash registers one time and she had been at customer service right before. when we finish with a customer we have to sometimes get the attention of the next person and will shout “i can get the next person in line!” but instead of saying that she yelled “HI WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH” to everyone in the general area

[youlovelucie]

I have told my dog “no thank you” so many times after working at a preschool

[spacecores]

a couple of times i’ve gotten stuck in a hello how are you good how are you good how are you loop with an equally tired Fred Meyer’s cashier after a long shift but the best time was after a 10 to 10 post-holidays after they told me my total, I asked if they would like a bag today and after a confused few seconds they were like, “no… I have the bags”

[thebritishteapot]

Worked in a gallery where we asked people to take off their backpacks in order not to accidentally damage paintings. So when I went to the shop later and saw a guy in the line in front of me, I told him he had to remove his backpack. He probably thought I was politely trying to rob him.

[bimetallic-monster-blog]

i think people use rupphire in case people are looking for content with just garnet and not the actual ship, if that makes sense

That makes sense. One of my favorite things about the show is thinking of Garnet as the Embodiment of a Relationship, or the Embodiment of Their Love.  So even when she’s doing something seemingly unromantic, it’s still romantic.  Consider this my humble request to put Garnet in along with rupphire in your tags. I get such a kick out of who/what Garnet is.

[bimetallic-monster-blog]

Ok, I don’t talk about shipping much. After the Zutara Wars of 2008 I am permanently scarred. But I have to come out of hiding to say: why are we calling ruby and sapphire rupphire? Wouldn’t the most natural name for the ruby/sapphire ship be Garnet?