El

[meburgers]

making sonas

[sisyphusshrugged]

every text is a risky text when nobody wants to hear from you

[pealeii]

❌ “friends don’t look at friends like that” devalues friendship/platonic forms of love, pushes amatonormativity

❌ “historians will call them friends” devalues historians and forces complex relationships into modern simplicities, also devalues friendship/platonic forms of love

✅ “do they know its legal now” suggests the characters are stupid, poorly suggests that this is the only barrier to their relationship—both of which are funny as hell

[the-big-mood]

During a high speed car chase pursuit, the FOX 11 Los Angeles helicopter had an unexpected moment when they spotted a rooster and a chicken casually walking down the sidewalk right in the middle of the pursuit.

[reblogmonstah]

The fact that they were walking 1-3mph

His joy and whimsy at seeing this

His acknowledgement of it not being as interesting as the chase

His little "huh" cuz you know they told him to focus

[spongelll]

me walking to the bathroom at 3am in a massively oversized shirt, using gay fanfic on my phone to light the way

[prokopetz]

I think it's actually essential to children's moral development to be exposed to short stories moderately beyond their reading level where a bunch of fucked up shit happens and then instead of offering a moral lesson or any sort of emotional or narrative resolution it just ends.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Someone hacked into and deleted my Tumblr while I was using it. All of my posts gained red text and the letters swirled around like a tornado before being scattered off screen. Presumably for others to use in their text posts

[one-time-i-dreamt]

[crabussy]

doxxing myself. I’m on a boat in the middle of the big blue sea near some islands and dolphins and other random nonsense

[mrsandman42069]

-28.531560,175.309976

[crabussy]

DUDE

[swagvo1d]

[putting-swears-back-in-images]

There is so much fucking rage in my fucking heart when I see people censor the swears

I saw someone censor their own fucking fanfic description on AO3!!! "[The characters] f*ck." DO THEY??? DO THEY?!?!??! HOW CAN I TRUST YOU TO WRITE THE FUCKING WHEN YOU DON'T EVEN DARE USE THE WORD.

Your blog soothes my rage. You make right what has gone wrong.

God fucking bless you.

Honestly yeah tho. That’s why I fucking do this. There is a lot of complying in advance I am seeing that we do not need to be doing at all.

Do not lay belly up and die. Say fuck like your life depends on it.

[the-haiku-bot]

Do not lay belly

up and die. Say fuck like your

life depends on it.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[colemckenzies]

you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put ‘you absolute’ in front of it

example: you absolute coat hanger

[ggiornojo]

as well u can just add ‘ed’ to any object and it’s sounds like you were really drunk

example: i was absolutely coat hangered last night

[colemckenzies]

#i was gazeboed mate #i was absolutely baubled

[animatedamerican]

Meanwhile, “utter” works for the first (e.g., “you utter floorboard”) but somehow “utterly” doesn’t seem to work as well for the second (“I was utterly floorboarded”).

[nentuaby]

Utterly doesn’t work for drunk because it’s the affix for turning random objects into terms for *shocked*, obviously.

[animatedamerican]

… huh.  I thought that might just be the similarity to “floored”, and yet “I was utterly coat hangered” does seem to convey something similar.

I have to tell you, I am utterly sandwiched at this discovery.

[thepioden]

Completely makes the phrase mean “super tired”.

“God, it’s been a long week, I am completely coat-hangered.”

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Something is

Something is wrong with our language

[rooksandravens]

Is it a glitch or a feature?

[cranberrybogmummy]

Feature

[byjove]

Donald Trump desperately trying to initiate the Red Scare 2 but no one giving a fuck is hilarious to me. The GOP has already villainized and fearmongered about immigrants, transgender people, DEI hires, ANTIFA, etc. and introducing a new supervillain hiding amongst us just isn’t working. I wish there was a communism WAS the greatest threat to America.

[byjove]

During yesterday’s speech he said something to the tune of “The communists want to seize your house and give it to your neighbor.” which shows how out of touch he is, how advanced his dementia is and how the Red Scare tactics of the 1950s are not applicable to the 2020s because no one owns their house anymore and most of us would prefer our house being owned by our neighbor instead of our landlord.

[byjove]

The Red Scare tactics of the 1950s are sooooooooo outdated in today’s world. Saying shit like “Under communism, the government will assign you a job and you will not get to pick!” would make 85% of my generation be like “That sounds awesome, I’m so sick of AI job interviews, just got rejected for the job I applied for shoveling elephant shit at the zoo.”

[dragon-in-a-fez]

personally I'm annoyed by the socioeconomic conditions that made words like "unalive" necessary but simultaneously impressed by the linguistic adaptations young people have made to continue talking about important things while subject to those conditions and I think if you can't hold both of those thoughts in your head you might just be old man yelling at cloud

[lilwiclzz]

Bro gets his revenge 7 years later after chuuya's rejection

Skk as byler

[bioluminescentcat]

OMFG

[lilwiclzz]

Bro gets his revenge 7 years later after chuuya's rejection

Skk as byler

[jimmithy-tiastopher]

kindergarten skk doodle......from Hours ago. ok. IM SORRY I GOT DISTRACTED I FORGOT TO POST IT

[markv5]