hi

he/him, a snail

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i appear to have made mortal nemeses with a pigeon

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

tumblr stop rooting for the pigeon

[iamcon-fu-sion]

pick a side

team gaud

team pigeon

Voting ended onJun 1

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

CEASE THIS IMMEDIATELY

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

you people are. unkind to me

[edgebug]

happy 20 year anniversary of Neil banging out the tunes!

though every rat is special, it's a wonderful and unusual thing for their accomplishments to be remembered and cherished by so many people so many years later. we're all so fortunate to know about the rat who banged out the tunes!

thank you to all the people who sent me reference photos of their beloved rats for this piece!!! credits under the cut!

@joe-spookyy Ben and Socrates

@gooseontheinternet Chamomile and Beefy

@runawayy-rat Bartholomäus and Emo

@theunholystromboli Macrogryphosaurus, Xenoceratops, and Graciliraptor

@techlecticwtch Solas and Dorian

@merlyn-bane Roslyn and Rizzoli

@logictoinsanity Luna and Buttercup

@hagsthehag Orphie, Psyche, Calypso, Ariadne, and Eury

my sweet ladies Bonnie, Mira, An, and Tula

and of course, the irreplaceable

Neil,

who banged out the tunes

[justcuriouspolls]

Can you win against your pfp/icon in a fight (in the sense of asking which one is physically stronger)? Assume you both have the drive and the motivation to fight eachother, and both of you are unarmed (unless your pfp explicitly shows them with a weapon, or they physically cannot survive without their weapon).

I can easily win against them with no issues

I can win against them, but it wouldn’t exactly be instantaneous

I can most likely win against them, but I would be struggling

I can juuuust barely beat them in a fight

We tie

They will win against me, but it would be a very close match

They will win against me, but they would be struggling

They will win, but at least I would have survived the first few moments

They can easily win against me with zero issues

I can’t imagine my pfp in a fight*

Infinite many nuance

Show answers

Voting ended onApr 14

*Not being able to conceptualize the idea of what a fight against your pfp would even look like, e.g. if your pfp is just a solid blue circle with no inherent meaning behind it

Is this a regular fight or a fight to the death? I don’t know, but odds are it wouldn’t make much of a difference

[bipixelsnail]

As long as it is not the immortal snail I think I should be fine. Although I'm not sure if I could live with the fact I killed a snail.

[ltwilliammowett]

How to put a Ship in a Bottle

Source

[callmestannismaybe]

[fishyaudio]

All the yellow wet floor signs always remind me of strange animals because they stand on four legs. Like what if they gather around leaking roofs and pipes to drink like a pack of animals seeking an oasis in the desert

This one was drawn over my photo of a metro station that I now think does anything but renovate it's roof. 3 signs and 5 buckets is kinda embarrasing

[mobiuslake-remaking]

hunter x hunter ➝ health care inequality

[square-enix]

thanks for making time for an interview for this managerial role overseeing the microsoft 365 team. what really stood out to us about you - and what rocketed you to the top of our list - was that part in your cover letter where you described yourself as a “sick fuck” who “would stop at nothing to see the microsoft 365 suite of products reduced to a functionless, pale imitation of their 2007-era predecessors” and that the user should “toil fruitlessly as they navigate a completely bewildering interface while being forced to ruminate on how they own nothing and instead rent increasingly expensive useless vapor.” when would you be available to start?

[only-cat-memes]

[devotedlystrangewizard]

i think everyone should program at least once just so you realise just how fucking stupid computers are. because theyre so fucking stupid. a computer wants to be told what to do and exactly that and if you make one typo or forget one detail it starts crying uncontrollably

[murraysiskind-deactivated202511]

It’s so crazy that suicide prevention is just people going awwww don’t!! Awwww come on noooooooooo stopppppp

[allhailklisz]

[yokelfelonking]

One of the best ones I saw was a thing noting that every single one of the few survivors of suicide jumps off of the Golden Gate Bridge realized, on the way down, that the problems they were killing themselves over actually were fixable or could be worked through...except for the now - extremely unfixable - problem of gravity.

[authortobenamedlater]

Went to the Holocaust Museum in DC once. There was a video interview of an Auschwitz survivor who said he and some other prisoners stayed up all night with a man who wanted to kill himself. The man didn’t kill himself and survived to liberation.

In the video the survivor said “Never seek a permanent solution to a temporary problem. And they’re all temporary problems.”

Hearing that from a guy who survived the Holocaust rewired my brain a little bit.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

that time in high school when my computer died and i was so deeply distraught i legit wrote an entire obituary for a laptop

[marlsbys-dragons]

Where is the obit Gaud, come on don’t hold out on us

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i had to dig so deep through old backup files to find this, enjoy!

RIP (In loving, random access memory)

After a long illness, my beloved laptop, 3, while surrounded by family and tech support, succumbed in the night to an internal error. My laptop leaves behind one bereaved admin (me), an estranged guest user, an elderly warranty and a large extended family of synced mobile devices and browser bookmarks. Friends, we are gathered in this subdomain today to honor the memory, both RAM and hard drive, volatile and non-volatile, and mourn the data loss of a beloved digital companion. Caches to caches, rust to rust. Though its hard drive may be wiped, its chassis refurbished, and its processor sold for scrap, its torrent downloads and browser history will live on in our hearts, and eventually come back to haunt me.

[kaispeakshermind]

Caches to caches, rust to rust

[mistakenforacorpse]

I am sorry for your data loss

[i-got-the-feels]

I am sorry.

It must have been a lot to process.

[itsreallystupid]

another one bytes the dust

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

This is great.

[certified-anti-microsoft-posts]

I forwarded this to my orgs network security guy, he thought it was funny so this is going in the blog

[redstonedust]

if vampires existed in real life i think there would be shady companies advertising "organic blood" sourced from "willing donors" who are coincidentally all poor people being paid like $5 per blood donation. and like haughty vegan vampires who only drink a synthetic blood drink thats brewed in a way thats actively worse for the enviroment. and radical traditionalist vampires who go on tiktok and claim that true alpha chads have to drain and kill people and anyone who leaves their victims alive is a liberal cuck. enter the world of hypothetical insufferable vampire politics with me.

[puppygirllaika]

Finally broke down and looked up "67" on wikipedia today, and i love that wikipedia had to include the fact that people are using the meme as evidence of "brain rot" in younger generations because of how low-effort it is. And like, i have no horse in this race, i'm clearly out of touch enough with what the kids are saying that i have to go look up memes on the internet to understand them, but brain rot? I'm pretty sure kids have been saying random numbers as memes since... like, the beginning of language. the beginning of numbers. I'm guessing that some time around 15,000 years ago in hunter-gatherer tribes all around the world a scene played out where one kid shouted "hey look, four rocks!" after seeing a few rocks on the ground, and every other kid in the tribe shouted "four rocks! four rocks!" and the adults just stood around like "what the fuck are the kids on about now?" and then had to live with the kids saying "four rocks!" every time they saw four of literally any object together. Like, this does not seem like a new phenomenon.

[wizard-of-interesting-failure]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

"king charles" im not calling a real person that it's 2026

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

if that fucking guy must be referred to, then "Mr. Charles Windsor" is the highest level of formality I'm giving him, and frankly I'm not sold on the Mister bit. eat my ass charlie boy

[bipixelsnail]

I still just call him Prince Charles, he's had that title for so long, not gonna bother with learning a new one

[internetgreatesthits]

[thirtyskeletons]

Any day now

[thirtyskeletons]

people have suddenly started reblogging this post of mine from february 8th, 2012. great bit everybody

[thirtyskeletons]