Bipolaroutcasts

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Following in my footsteps

My daughter makes me proud every single day, but right now I’m especially proud. She’s starting her own blog. If some of you have been here from the beginning, you remember me talking about my illness and how it’s affected her over the years. Eight years later, I’m watching her openly express her struggles with mental health and share her favorite Mac Miller songs with the world. Watching her…

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Navigating Loss and Finding Light in the Shadows As I sit down to reflect on the past couple of years, my heart feels heavy yet full. We lost two incredibly important people in our lives in 2023 and 2024—my in-laws, who are not just my husband’s grandparents, but the very people who raised him into the man he is today. They were our anchors, the loving souls who helped care for our daughter…

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Where did everyone go?

Help Me Get Back in the Social Media Game! Hey there, lovely readers! 🌟 So, here I am, back from a two-year hiatus (yes, you read that right) and ready to dive back into the wonderful world of social media. I mean, let’s be honest, it’s like riding a bike, right? Except the bike is a little rusty, and I might have forgotten how to pedal! 🚴‍♀️ I used to have a dedicated group of amazing people…

Where did everyone go?

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Bipolar Chronicles-Dreams

A Love-Hate Relationship with Dreams: My Surreal Superpower Dreams and I have a complicated relationship—think of it as a tumultuous romance that keeps me on my toes. I’ve shared this quirky little tidbit with people before, and sometimes I feel like they don’t quite believe me when I say I have a “superpower.” (Is that even the right term? Let’s go with it for now.) I can stop and start my…

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Finding Serenity and Inspiration in a Coffee Shop

Coffee Shop Chronicles: Finding Inspiration in a Cup If you’re wondering why your feed is suddenly overflowing with my musings, it’s because I’m currently nestled in a cozy corner of Starbucks, soaking up the caffeine and creativity. Sure, I have Wi-Fi at home—trust me, I do—but let’s be real: my home is a distraction minefield. Between laundry, dishes, and the siren call of Netflix, focusing on…

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Unpopular Opinion: Motivational Speakers are gaslighting narcissist's

The Not-So-Motivational Motivational Speech: A Comedic Take on Positivity I know, I know—we all love a good motivational speech to gear us up for life’s little challenges. But hear me out! (Disclaimer: I am in no way a motivational speaker. I just share my shenanigans and struggles. Seriously, don’t look to me for advice; I can barely take my own, let alone someone else’s—especially my…

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AI vs Ghostwriters

Navigating the Writing Journey: Ghostwriters, AI, and Finding My Voice I’ve mentioned it before, but it’s worth repeating: I’m in the process of writing a book. It’s been a long road—12 years, to be exact! Recently, I made the decision to hire a ghostwriter, and I couldn’t be happier with the choice. He has a remarkable talent for helping me express my thoughts while still preserving my unique…

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Are magazines becoming obsolete?

The Nostalgia of Print: Why I Still Love Magazines The other day, I strolled into a store, hoping to find a Cosmopolitan to pair with my favorite candy bar. To my dismay, the shelves were bare. It was one of those rough days, and I found myself reminiscing about my younger years in a bustling city, where I would indulge in chocolate and lose myself in the glossy pages of a magazine—a world of…

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New Year and I'm still here!

Sorry I’ve been MIA between work and life I haven’t had the urge/want to write (blogs) I’ve been working on my book that I don’t know if I will ever finish. It is never good enough for me to publish. I keep getting scam calls from “publishers” but I haven’t thought about sending it out or if I should self publish. I’ve been weighing the options and I just don’t know what to do. If anyone has any…

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Pickles and Narcan

For the first time in years I had to use Narcan. The person who had it is the probably single handling the most amazing strong woman and now our friendship will never be the same. I did that the same way I do every time when people try to love me. I know if they see this horrible dark side the bipolar addict with no self control they will just give up and it’s to save them from me. I’m self…

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Anxiety attacks

When I started this job 3 years ago I had a mini anxiety occurrence (can’t call it an attack) over something so unimportant I forgot exactly why. Well 3 years later in a different position in a different department I had 4. Yep the one thing I always said I would never do at work again happened and as always I had no control. I wish people would understand why I have control issues. There’s been…

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One more time

Just one more for me…..Just one more breathJust one more second and let those one more turns to minutes, hours, days months and years. That one second you gave yourself turned into a life you never thought could exist.Just one more pinky promise. The promise you can’t break the promise that tomorrow when the sun rises you will feel the warmth. You don’t even have to smile just feel it and know…

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I started a new job at a new company and I didn’t tell them I am bipolar or have any mental health issues. It is a hard conversation to have and the other job I had for the last 10 years went through all the ups and downs with me. I was diagnosed with them and went through addiction, recovery, relapse recovery again to repetitive overdoses. So they were understanding well as understanding as they…

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Epiphany

Last night while I made myself throw up I had an epiphany. Yeah not the best way to do this but yesterday was enough for me. I’m taking your power away. I was reminded yesterday that the fight I was in to stay alive that I almost lost it wasn’t just me. That’s the difference between us. I’m not alone you did everything you could to make sure we felt isolated but the last week I wasn’t isolated. I…

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If they really knew

If they know how much I want to die. If they know that I have my suicide planned to the second. I have my DNR and letters to the people I love. My funeral arrangements are already made out. I know that they will get 80% of my life insurance policies. I don’t want to keep making people sad because of me. I don’t want people to worry about me anymore but I’m wound so tight it feels like the rope…

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Training

Yesterday at work we had active shooter training which is happening more and more to all businesses. It was a great training and they provided a lot of information and resources which was amazing but it hit that trigger point. I tried to fight it and talk myself from that anxiety attack….it didn’t work. I need to say this. I’ve heard you found this and read it and if you have fuck you. I’ve…

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Self care and waxing

Self care and waxing

This year has been a long and crazy journey when it comes to my health. I felt ugly both inside and out. I let my illness get the best of me and it made me a miserable person. The change really started two years ago but I kept falling in and out of sticking with what I was doing. I am roughly 10 lbs from 100 lbs down. I am so proud of how far I’ve come and before you ask I did not follow any…

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