shark week

mady i have no idea what i'm doing.

[lobster-lover]

coelacanth my beloved

[aspergersissues]

[walks-the-ages]

@rjalker

[rjalker]

[ID: a cropped screenshot that reads, 

“Many adults with ADHD find that they're most productive at night. They tend to hyperfocus on tasks and don't want to break their momentum. According to Dodson, after the sun goes down, they feel especially energetic and think more clearly. Plus, distractions tend to be low.

Olivardia cited neurological research that found that the "ADHD brain is prone to a delayed sleep phase sydrome (DSPS)" instead of having a typical circadian rhythm -- with sleeping hours from 11pm. to 7am -- people have an irregular pattern of 2am to about 10am he said."

This is followed by the meme of the puppet monkey side-eyeing the camera, then looking away awkwardly. End ID.]

[dsdsfdgd-deactivated20150704]

the weirdest shit i have ever experienced as a swede is when around the mid 2000’s it became popular in sweden for teenage boys to wear rubber bands around their legs on top of their jeans. the more rubber bands you had and variety in colors the more alpha you became to the other teenage boys

[dsdsfdgd-deactivated20150704]

i don’t understand

[brassers-deactivated20181223]

bring this quality fashion trend back to the streets 

[hohomylad]

could it be

the return of the anglo saxons

[systlin]

Holy shit

[jillsteinfuneralcity]

see this is what i mean when i talk about folk memory and inherited genetic memory

[snorkadork]

EMMA, LINNEA, EXPLAIN

[ghostseh]

Oh MY GOD THIS IS LIK THE FUNNIEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN IN SWEDEN. DID THIS NOT HAPPEN ANYWHERE ELSE?

ok so basically for a while in sweden pretty much everyone would wear like a hairband at the bottom of their jeans. i guess it was the fashion for jeans to be kinda tight around the ankles and not flop around and shit. it wasn’t totally horrid at first considering this is, after all, a mid 2000 trend we’re talking about.

Not SO bad to begin with right? I mean the trousers here are fairly discreet even though everything going on above that is an atrocity.

but then it escalated

and just kept escalating

the trend got different nicknames in different cities. In gothenburg we called them ‘Partille Johnny’ - Partille being a slightly upperclass and pretty white suburb. Google the name yourself to see more.

I mean I’m not gonna lie, was guilty of sometimes putting a single hairband around my jeans back then, similar to the girl in the ballerina shoes here. it’s just what everyone did for a while.

but then it escalated to the previously shown madness and suddenly no one wanted to be associated with it and the light hairband-use died out and the Partille Johnny’s kept pushing the hairband further and further up their legs, to the points where i’m pretty sure parents started worrying about their kids blood circulation.

[ghostseh]

Like ok I just want to add as well that I don’t think the first post here does the Partille Johnny justice because it only focuses on the jeans and the hairbands but come on it was SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT. SO much effort went into this look ok

like everyone who did the hairband thing ALSO did this incredible thing with their hair and faces

like this was a lifestyle for the swedish lads

[soidreamtiwasastarfleetcommander]

Every few years I type “swede teen rubber band legs” into google to find this again

[silverhawk]

i think one of my fave shark facts is this thing that some species of sharks do where they sorta peek their heads out of the water to see whats above the surface…..its called spyhopping and great white sharks do it all the time

[thatsociallyawkwardfan]

This gave me so much serotonin for some reason.

[naomster]

They look like they forgot they can breathe underwater and think they’re drowning

[byjove]

Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

The spiritual successor to Miette

[manicgoblinnightmarewoman]

Might I also add

[shydestinybread]

May i add the piece from artist Verbal Vomit

[unyanizedcatboys]

Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

[explorerrowan]

I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from "i can has". Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they're talking about.

[dualclock]

My cat, banging the cabnet door over and over and over: bang bang bang

Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.

My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang

Me: ksst!

My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she's been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!

Me: ok

My cat, after waiting about 3 minutes: bang bang bang

[notcaycepollard]

[callmebliss]

Can haz snackytreat

[ladyshinga]

(source)

[dogsrulepeopledrool]

Source

[fandom]

This post is the most reblogged post of the year! Congratulations!

[moist-astronaut]

you're absolutely correct it was

[maneth985]

And it's so accurate, my new cat is so demanding lol

[foulserpent]

im so tired of this life. i want to be a roomba. i want knives taped to me. and i want to be set loose.

[kaijuno]

[enigmaticagentalice]

shoutout to the guy in charge of the train station at my hometown, who doesn’t limit himself to announcing trains but also:

comments on interesting birds he sees on the platform

gives completely unofficial weather reports on what he thinks the day is going to be like

refers to very crowded trains as ‘friendly trains’

regularly congratulates everyone on having gotten up on time on Monday mornings

basically seems to use the tannoy system to amuse himself and try and brighten up everyone’s morning commute

refers to himself as ‘the fat controller’

[papayajuan2019]

love the way we finish each others' sentences. it's like we're soulmates or the beastie boys

[theoldness]

[w-r-o-u-g-h-t]

this “bon appetit” meme has turned into some sort of bizarre telephone game where each incarnation sounds more and more different than the original. in what way does “bon appetit” sound like “osteoporosis”

[lady-dainty]

i don’t know but it’s cracking me up every time i even think about it

[catrad0rable]

bon appetit -> bone apple teeth -> bone ??? ??? -> osteoporosis

[transcrowleyy]

this has layers, man

[internetaddict104]

I feel like this is self explanatory

[zagreus]

pull HIS hair. get HIM pregnant

[thickness-protection-program]

A seahorse wrote this

[zagreus]

im gonna flatten you with a cartoonishly large anvil

[destroyalovesu]

oh cousin oskaar we’re really in it now

[galiifreyrose]

[mugica]

happy nov 5th

[entierradefrikis]

[colinquinn]

Me, after coming out of a decade of depression

[kirkspocks]

odin is like “when thor was born the sun shone bright upon his beautiful face. i found loki on the sidewalk outside a taco bell”

[chromalogue]

Oðinn spake:

Bright the sun shone | at the time of Þor’s birth, And bathed his count'nance fair. Loki, wolf-father, | the trickster, the liar, I found on the cold pavement While returning in glory | from a grand hunt For a 3 AM quesadilla.

[baegishjalmur]

@damn-fuck-i-burnt-myself-again

[systlin]

I need this framed on my wall it’s so beautiful. 

[retro-minty]

@theshitpostcalligrapher

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

ay @systlin hmu

[bold-sartorial-statement]

@systlin

My husband complained that this was more Shakespeare than Eddas, and I challenged him to do better.

Solen sken, skönt gyllene

Dagen Tor föddes

På trottoaren, vid Taco Bell

Där låg Loke

—KJN

My translation:

The sun shone, sweet golden

The day of Tor’s birth

On the tarmac, by Taco Bell

There lay Loki

(For poetry reasons, Thor needs the Swedish spelling.)

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

@bold-sartorial-statement

ay yo show ur husband 

[andersonsallpurpose]

@bold-sartorial-statement no but hang on this should be in runes: 

(oops spot the typos)

[svampurinn]

i wanna translate this into icelandic so imma do it 

Sólin skein, björt og gullin við fæðingu Þórs á stígnum við Taco Bell Þar lá Loki

[books-and-candy-ples]

The amount of quality going into these shitposts is amazing

[rembrandtswife]

This is not shitposting, this is transformative work!

[deeranger]

And in Danish because why not:

Solen skinnede, skøn og gylden

På dagen for Tors fødsel

På asfalten ved Taco Bell

Dér lå Loke

“LEV MERE (LIVE MAS)”

*Snorts*

[marvel-lous-things]

When Thor born

He hair shine brite

A very very

Magical site

But then I see

A bab from hell

I pik up loki

From taco bell

[tlirsgender]

You ever think about how crows are acting not unlike how early humans probably did and you're just like. Oh ok

[tlirsgender]

I saw a Thing one time about how the earliest sign of civilization is a healed femur because that shows that we were taking care of each other because if we Didn't a broken leg would mean you Die because you can't. Do things

And I was thinking about this and I remembered also seeing an article about this one mated pair of crows where one of them broke its beak and thus couldn't properly feed itself on its own. So the other one helps

So basically I have connected the two dots ("you didn't connect shit") I've connected them

And also they not only use tools but teach each other how to construct them, so uh

Really makes you think

[tlirsgender]

Realistically I know immortality would kinda suck but I'd love to see where crows are going with this