BSV.

Photography & more. 30. she/her. Albania.

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Feeling all over the place & trying not to lose my mind.

Currently writing this while dealing with a bad headache. 3:45 AM.

FULL POST ON SUBSTACK.

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Pretending I have my life together (I don't).

Fake it till you make it, I guess.

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WARHOL.

All photos by me.

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Friday, May 8th 2026.

Pieces of life.

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Dear diary,

I choose to be happy.

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Fruits and books.

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The whimsy of these days.

Turned 30, got some great gifts, now feeling hopeful about the future 🫶🏻.

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I spent the first half of my twenties hopping from buses, to ferries, to planes. From one city of Italy to another. Each minute spent was a bliss. Every adventure was a lesson. I grew as a person. But I took it for granted.

Then Covid hit.

I thought I was never gonna travel again. I feared I was never gonna attend a concert the way I used to.

Then the gates reopened.

I promised myself I was never gonna let fear prevent me from having fun and being myself again.

Local concerts came. A lot of rock. A lot of shots, from Nikon to Sony. A lot of headbanging. A lot of alcohol. A lot of adrenaline.

But still, there was something missing.

The enthusiasm. The excitement. The magic. It had vanished.

That's how I knew I needed a change.

So I took another plane to Italy. Another bus. Another train.

The excitement came back. The enthusiasm was running all over my veins again.

I decided to slowly say goodbye to my twenties, hugging the same person I hugged when they began.

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Slow life simulation: Avocado toast & vinyls.

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Reflektime pas një udhëtimi.

Ndonjëherë nuk di ç'të shkruash, thjesht e ndjen.

Kisha kohë që nuk ndihesha kështu.

Kisha kohë që nuk ndjeja kurrfarë emocioni. Entuziazmi. Këmbët që dridhen prej emocioneve. Sytë që shkëlqejnë nga prezenca dhe mirësia e njerëzve përreth.

Është sikur të thuash që zemra ime kishte rënë në gjumë letargjik. Kisha harruar çfarë do të thotë të ndjesh lumturi, intensivisht. Shumë vite e mpirë emocionalisht.

Ndoshta ajo që na duhet vërtetë është një shtysë. Një person, një event, një arsye për të dalë nga vorbulla ku kemi ngecur. Diçka specifike që t'i shuajë dyshimet te vetja. Diçka që të na e risjellë shpirtin në vend.

Një gjurmë e vogël, por me impakt të madh, që të ndihemi sërish vetvetja, në një botë që të detyron të ndrydhësh veten e të dalësh prej saj.

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Pieces of my most recent trip.

March 7th, 2026.

📍Lucignano, Arezzo; in Tuscany, Italy.

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"Is that a blue sky?".

And for how long? Are these clear skies a reflection of my brain? Is the sun shining inside my soul too? Do I feel the warmth unfreezing all the good thoughts, all the joy that I thought was gone?

Is this a sign that it does get better?

Maybe it is. Maybe it's not just seasonal depression. Maybe sometimes we let ourselves go and we dive into darkness, when we should fight harder and wait for the sun to shine again and clear our minds out.

So easy to say, huh?

CONTINUES ON SUBSTACK:

"Is that a blue sky?".

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February 7th, 2026; 12:05 AM.

I always wonder if it's gonna be like this forever. Or is it just what February feels like. I don't know. The way this world is going, I don't think it's just this month.

It's been dark for so long. Pitch black. And I'm a person who likes black as a color. It goes with everything. But I don't like how black feels. I don't like full darkness, even at night I need at least one small drop of light, to remind me that there's life outside.

More on my SUBSTACK ACCOUNT.

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February 8th, 2026.

A Sunday with cats. It feels like these adorable feline beings with a lot of fur shedding seem to fix our mood almost instantly.

I just wouldn't be able to take care and raise one on my own.

Anyways, enjoy these two sleepy cuties.

May we have this level of comfort.

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February 4th, 2026.

If you catch me listening to Kendrick Lamar, I'm either pumped up or angry. So don't ask me.

MUSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD.

Nevermind, so burned out from work.

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January 27th, 2026.

Hey, what even is inner peace? How does one achieve it?

So many articles online. Pinterest mood boards. New terms everywhere. Making our heads dizzy.

And yet, nothing concrete.

So tell me; what does it really mean to achieve inner peace? When social media and TV are filled with bad news, when all we're surrounded by is bad energy.

MORE ON SUBSTACK.

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January 18th, 2026.

Spent this Sunday outside, pretending I was in some cosy place while designing a poster for my friend's upcoming birthday workshop.