*insert witty phrase here* @bleshysalamander - Tumblr Blog

the hiveswap steam greenlight description is golden holy shit

(also clicc that mf greenlight)

I just traded my neighbour a jar of raw honey for his parakeet’s corpse.

It is also worth noting that the only reason I have so much raw honey is because I made a dress for a beekeeper’s daughter.

And that I need the parakeet bones to make a necklace for the woman who fixed my antique cello.

And that I got the cello as payment for juggling at a child’s birthday party.

When did my life get this weird?

younger-than-the-soul

your life is a fucking sidequest

me upon meeting a friendly stray cat: my god!!! my god!!! how truly excellent you are!!!!!

kingslacky

Lets have some fun. I have made a simple template. RULES: There are no rules. Butcher the fuck out of it and explain how you protect yourself. You can change the enemy, the victim, the weapon, literally anything. Use photoshop or whatever you want to butcher the living shit out of this template.

What I’ve found.

sutokkingu-anaki-deactivated201

Jesus fucking Christ

tonymacaronnii

You’ve heard of Grand Theft Auto, now get ready for

stealy wheely automobiley

pumpkinleif

New urban fantasy theory:

Walmart hires vampires. This explains why it’s open 24 hours a day, why working there is often described as ‘soul-sucking’, and why there’s almost always no windows.

Most damningly, Walmart is one of the few stores that specifically hires a ‘greeter’ with no other job than to welcome every person into the store.

Because vampires have to be invited in.

scalesthegecko

ARE THE CRYSTAL GEMS

foreverfantasy

I FUCKING HATE PETA!!!! THIS IS IMPORTANT GUYS!!!

So for those of you may or may not know the organization PETA is people against animal cruelty.

Well let me tell you a story that I just found out today.

Our dog Boulder is a show dog and he was at a show a few weeks or so ago. PETA was also there and they were protesting how dog shows are inhumane.

So what did they fucking do? They let all/most of the dogs out of their kennels and put rat poison inside the kennels.

Boulder got sick after the show and as they were doing tests and everything they found the rat poison in his system. PETA killed my dog.

My dog Boulder has cancer now which spread to his kidney and his lungs. He is not going to make it. He has lost a lot of weight and needs to be fed by hand because of fucking PETA.

So I want you guys to spread this like wildfire. Tell everyone about this. Because of PETA we are losing a member of our family who is near and dear to us.

enlightenedgnostalgic

fuck.

goddessartemis16-deactivated201

Oh my god

fenrir-chained

PETA Kills at LEAST 90% of the animals they “rescue.” Do not support them. They are a vile, vile organization and they do so much more harm than good.