I sold my soul to Satan for memes

Autistic| Grey-ace + bi-romantic| Agender| Proudly Queer.

[bloodlessbelmounte]

Masterlist

Various Fanfics I've Written:

Astarion from Baldur's Gate 3 -

As Cold As Death 1|2|3|

You've had always lived what felt like a half-life, died more times than you could count. Astarion was a vampire spawn who had been "living" in the shadow of his master. But things change for the both of you when you're abducted by Mindflayers and implanted with tadpoles. With a Cleric of Shar; a Githyanki Warrior; an Escaped Solider for Zariel; the Blade of Frontiers; a Former Chosen of Mystra; the Corpse of a Scribe and the Pale Elf, you venture forth towards Baldur's Gate in the hopes of finding a cure. Where the shadow over Astarion is darkest and the Dead Three 's chosen lurk along the way. Genre: Romance, Slowburn(-ish) Pairing: Astarion/Necromancer GN!Reader (Tav)

Predators and Prey

When nightmares of your past tormentors keep you both awake, Astarion makes a very appealing offer. Revenge. "You're not a smart man, are you? You should be begging for mercy. For a quick death. Did you hope to provoke us into gutting you?" He grabbed your father by the hair, tilting his head painfully, "Maybe you hoped I'd rip your throat out. Unfortunately for you, I have standards." Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Horror??? I guess??? Pairing: Spawn!Astarion x GN!Tav (also not specified race)

Deadpool and Wolverine -

Eternity Will Bring You Near 1|2|3|4|5|6

Wade understood that Logan was from a world where Alpha, Beta and Omega were everyday terms, not exclusive to red-pilled incel fuckheads who kept inventing new performative male genders. Wade would've been classified as a Beta. Logan, however, was an Alpha - Wade's read enough fanfiction and yaoi manga to know what that means. Though it doesn't explain why Logan keeps sniffing him. Pairing: Alpha!Worst Wolverine/Deadpool Genre: A/B/O, Smut, Domestic-ish Warnings: A/B/O Dynamics, Blood, Gore/Body Horror, Masturbation, Lots of Logan Biting, Mutual Masturbation/Frotting, Blow Job, Alpha Rut, Anal Sex, Multiple Orgasms, Anal Fingering, Multiple Positions, Canon Typical Violence, Omega Heat, Rimming, Breeding Kinks, Biting/Marking and Knotting, Mpreg, Waters Breaking and Non-graphic Child Birth.

Resident Evil (Jill xCarlos) Masterlist

[woundliqour]

[aggressivewhenstartled]

This is why I get meal kits. Do I need them? No. Can I easily make them myself? For way cheaper? Yes. WILL I??? No.

Other tips: if you are going to buy things that aren’t pre-taxed, you need to make a habit of always doing the prep AS SOON AS YOU GET HOME. it will NEVER HAPPEN if you don’t.

Get the bulk pack of steaks! But you are never gonna eat them before they go bad. If you freeze them in individual ziplocks as soon as you unpack you probably will?

Get the celery, but you need to cut it ALL UP and store it in the fridge in water or it will rot.

And don’t do all tgese at once, get like, one or two prep things a trip. You aren’t gonna get it started if it’s a huge task.

[rogueemmy]

Don’t pass by these tips because you don’t have ADHD! 

These are valid points for the busy parent, the overstressed college student, and the person working the “wrong” shift. 

Real story - I have thrown away SO MUCH meat and produce in my time. Frozen veggies can even be better than fresh, since they are picked when ripe and frozen rather than picked early and expected to ripen in shipping. My local grocer will sometimes pre-chop less-than-desirable veggies and sell them in the discount cooler - a chopped onion is more useful than a whole one! Meat in bulk packs is WAY cheaper, but you have to make breaking up that huge pack part of putting away the groceries. Also, having a place to put the groceries away helps make the process easier. It’s taken me more than one decade of life to figure these things out. 

It’s not lazy if it is efficient. Professionals call it “time management.” 

[tjmystic]

Not ADHD, just incredibly busy and tired all the time, and this is VERY helpful.

[raynewolferune]

I am ADHD and I started using these techniques myself 2 years ago. Life changing. My budget is way better now than it was before.

[molabuddy]

3 hours of sleep = i hate people who laugh

0 ours of sleep = waouw 🌼🌼🌼🌼🐎

[molabuddy]

we all need to take better care of our selfs or we might Pass away

[reynard61]

Let's ambush mama! 😼

[dvandom]

"Why do Pallas cats always look grumpy?"

"Pallas kittens."

[waywardmartian]

The sheer roundness of this kitten must be admired.

[notarobot1006]

Bothering Mama

[penumbralwoods]

every time someone realizes they dont have to pick between being a boy or a girl an angel gets its wings btw. and also extremely loud cheering can be heard in the distance from me specifically

[penumbralwoods]

btw if you've ever wondered why i make posts like this and get really obnoxious about nonbinary positivity. this is why

and for all of yall that are still figuring it out or aren't getting the support you deserve:

[penumbralwoods]

every time someone realizes they dont have to pick between being a boy or a girl an angel gets its wings btw. and also extremely loud cheering can be heard in the distance from me specifically

[penumbralwoods]

btw if you've ever wondered why i make posts like this and get really obnoxious about nonbinary positivity. this is why

and for all of yall that are still figuring it out or aren't getting the support you deserve:

[catasters]

[gallusrostromegalus]

tags by @ultramarineblues: #deeply curious about how this person discovered the cat liked this game

[northern-punk-lad]

If your an American who opposes the Israel genocide and have donated your body to science after death consider revoking it as your body might be used to train idf

[animentality]

[herainsorcia]

[fox-bright]

That is DIABOLICAL museum design, A++, no notes

[moghedien]

One like nitpick thing that drives me crazy is when people call Blue Whales the largest whales or the largest living mammals or some shit like that

Because yes that is true. But when you frame it like that you are completely disregarding the absolutely batshit reality that Blue Whales are the largest animals that have ever existed on earth through the entire history of the planet and they are alive right now today

[banchie]

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

[butchfagminotaur]

the sims will never not be one of the funniest games on the planet

[chryza]

*scrolls past, normal post for tumblr*

.

*sCROLLS BACK UP*

WHAT DO YOU MEAN SPONSORED. THERES NO OTHER TEXT. ITS JUST THIS.

[superectojazzmage]

Most normal post from @phoenix-theurge

[phoenix-theurge]

My werewolf husband coming to visit after mpregging me.

[dark-spirit-tamamoland]

they're still terming random transfems as i type this i see which does make quite a statement doing this today specifically

[puppetstuffing]

watched three girls who reblogged its new blog mutual aidpost (made literally 15 minutes ago) already disappear from its notifs. transfems are not included in their pride :/

[puppetedlove]

:)

[puppetvictim]

:)

[tamamowand]

QUITE the statement to be nuking transfems at the current accelerated pace right at the start of pride month like this, isn't it

[quinnception]

This post is no more than two days old as of June 3rd, 2026. All of these blogs were nuked in two days or less.

[draconym]

i would rather see the information for an event handwritten in sharpie on a paper towel than see another AI generated flyer

[aj-living-life]

Saving this post to show my boss who I told the AI flier makes us look lazy and ignorant, and offered to hand draw one. She still printed tons of ai fliers and I'm tempted to make a better one just because it annoys me so much.

[aj-living-life]

Fun update: event was canceled because literally nobody rsvp'd to the AI flier.

[kaoinim-deactivated20220927]