Bloody El !

Juste une weeb qui passe trop de temps sur les fanfictions et pratique la sorcellerie païene

[bloodyhellel]

Working right now is kind of hard as my current obsessions are particularly strong and as much as I can try, mind mind just keep hoping to ones of them and I can't focus because my imagination is roaring.

And to add to the pile, the fact that as a responsible adult I can't just do what I want whenever I want is creating a growing frustration that fueled my lack of focus at work.

[podcastwizard]

LIKES TO CHARGE REBLOGS TO CAST

[the-goddess-of-annoying]

you people aren't CASTING

[the-goddess-of-annoying]

NO

[sushi1056]

deactivated

So thoroughly nuked that there isn’t even any record of their original blog url

[ivys-garden]

The Forbidden Knowledge

[the-post-crow]

The notes are broken too…

[pastelchaos12]

Truly the most Tumblr, Tumblr post

[hitopia07]

You're so very special. I wish I was special.

[visionsofkora]

Dante: She says, "Is power all that matters?" and you say what else is there? Vergil: It was dumb I know Dante: You should write a book. How to offend women in 5 syllables or less.

[annerocious]

Dear Men Writers

Lesser known facts when writing women:

High heeled shoes don’t become flats if you break the heels off.

The posts of earrings aren’t sharp.

Nail polish takes a long time to dry and smudges when wet.

You can’t hold in a period like pee.

Inserting a tampon is not arousing or sexual in any way, ever.

Feel free to add your own.

[deliciouspineapple]

- Bras leave red marks on the skin under and around boobs and it is a magical experience when taken off.

- Make up can take anywhere from 5 to 25 minutes depending on how skilled you are.

- Taking hair out of a ponytail after wearing it for hours does not make it perfectly straight when it comes down.

- Hair when wet sticks to the skin it no longer flows, idiot.

-When women with long hair kiss, turn around, do anything, their hair falls in the way.

- Stockings are itchy and tear like wet paper bags.

[ivegotthetriforce]

- Pantyhose, tights, leggings, and stockings are each different. - Waxing hurts and leaves red skin for a while afterwards while shaving leaves stubble - Most can’t run in heels unless they have been VERY worn - Insecurity in appearance doesn’t mean “buy me a drink” - EVERYONE HAS DIFFERENT TASTES IN EVERYTHING

[drmistytang]

-Having large breasts sucks. It sucks beyond belief.  If a garment happens to fit your large chest, odds are it won’t fit the rest of you. Underboob sweat is real and terrible. Bending over for extended periods of time will tweak your back out. Running can be painful due to boob turbulence. Bras are hella expensive. Big breasts are not fun.

[angryschnauzer]

Putting a tampon in isnt a quick bend-poke-done kinda deal. It involves cubicle yoga, messy hands, numerous curse words as you realise it isnt in correctly and have to take it out and start again with a new one.

[cassiopeiassky]

Yes to all of this.  But also:

If her hair is in an updo, one does not simply remove a hairpin to send her hair cascading down her back.  No.  If her hair is an updo, it will take at least an hour and an extra set of hands to remove the 137 bobby pins that are holding her hair in place.  Furthermore, there’s probably a can’s worth of hairspray in there, intended to withstand category 2 hurricane winds.  There’s no cascading happening here - the best you can hope for is a misshapen nest of hair to clump and poof unattractively in the back while it still remains flat against her scalp.

[marvel-lucy]

This is one of the funniest posts I’ve seen in a while (especially if you read all the comments), but also really depressing because at 42 I still judge myself as having failed for not matching up to all these mythical stereotypes despite knowing they’re impossible

[valeria2067]

^^^This though

[musicalhell]

The odds of a woman having smoothly shaved legs and armpits are directly proportional to the amount of skin her clothing bares and/or the amount of fucks she gives at that particular moment.

GLASSES ARE NOT COSMETIC.  If we whip them off, we do not become gorgeous fashion models.  We become squinty.

[thatsnicebutimmarried]

-most women wear bras. Yes, even when they are trying to dress sexy. Because bras make boobs look perkier and rounder, which is something men apparently find sexy, so being a seductress or femme fatale is not an automatic reason for a female character to not be wearing a bra.

-a good bra will hide headlights, or at the very least drastically reduce their noticeability. A women with enough pointy nipple issues will opt for a padded or molded bra to hide them.

-women’s nipples do not automatically become hard pyramids visible through any and all layers of clothing the second they become even slightly aroused. They are not the female equivalent of boners. And even if their nipples do get hard, the bras they are almost certainly wearing (because even a goddamn succubus with big, honkin’ knockers for seducing men is gonna have those painful puppies in some kind of boob sling) should keep those pointy nipples from being visible to every other character in the scene, JIM BUTCHER. YES, EVEN LARA RAITH WOULD WEAR A BRA ONCE IN A GODDAMN WHILE.

[eldriitchmurmurs]

if you’re being tied up and tortured in a freezing underground dungeon, then you probably have more important things to pay attention to than how hard somebody’s nipples are, jim butcher

[jabberwockypie]

- Wearing a bra that doesn’t fit HURTS.  It’s not sexy to wear a bra that’s “two sizes too small”, it’d make your clothes hang oddly and you’d have a weird, uncomfortable “quad-boob” effect and your back would hurt, BEN AARONOVITCH.

[phantoms-lair]

Also, after removing a too small bra, there’s gonne be angry red lines on the boobs and ribs and the lady is not going to want them to be touched by anyone for a good long while

[everystarstorm]

-Not all women wear heels. Those things hurt and are hard to balance in. They can also mess up your feet and back pretty bad.

[hattedhedgehog]

-Lips aren’t just naturally red “as if she’d been drinking wine but they were just like that without makeup cause she’s so perfect,” my dear little Kvothe from ‘Name of the Wind’. Also, girls do not naturally smell like fruit or flowers, it’s either perfume or something she’d been eating recently.

[generalistherbalist]

I’ve been appreciating this post but now it’s back very specifically calling out my problematic faves and I don’t think those male authors realize how much it totally takes me out of the story for a moment when they commit these errors. It does nothing useful for the plot and is annoying for half of the audience

[lmorasey-deactivated20230917]

Is it weird that I’m female and wasn’t aware of a solid third of these?

[infinitelyblankpage]

I mean, all writes take note. I basically live in man land when it comes to protagonists so I don’t know half these things despite being a woman

[furryarbiterangel]

(Most) Women do not look at themselves in the mirror and compare their breasts to fruit. Any sort of fruit. Especially melons. Please save us from the melons.

Also we are not aware of our breasts at all times. I do not walk down a flight of stairs and think “oh golly my breasts are bouncing so much right now”. They are as much as natural part of our bodies as arms. Do you constantly think about how your arms are moving? Sure you may be aware of them, but paying full attention? Doubtful.

[dukeofbookingham-deactivated202]

Also: women working out are almost never sexy. They’re not glowing or glistening or (kill me) *sparkling*. They are red and sweaty and gross just like all the dudebros doing their time with the dumbbells. Stop ogling fictional women at the gym, TOM WOLFE.

[kerolunaticat]

I love this post.

[galadrieljones]

I never understood why men feel the need to address all this telltale “feminine” awareness when writing women. Like once in grad school one of my male colleagues wrote from a female character’s POV and was like sure to notice how her feet felt in high heels and all the women’s lifestyle magazines on the coffee table and also that like, her breasts were “heavy” or some shit. I write male characters all the time. Not once have I ever stopped to make sure they notice the weight of their own balls or been hyper aware of their chest hair or some bullshit like that. ????? why????????

[dusterthedopop-deactivated20250]

Love this. I’ve been cackling to myself for good 20 mins reading all the comments as well but the last reblog had me dying like can you imagine!!

“Chad was late. He had an important meeting to get to and was mad at himself for oversleeping.

He quickly washed and brushed his teeth and then ran downstairs, his balls bouncing playfully in his pants.

Do I have time to make a coffee? he thought. He decided he did so went into the kitchen and switched the kettle on. As he was waiting, he noticed his thick, curly chest hair was poking through the button gaps of his shirt. He giggled to himself and tucked his manly fuzz back in, hoping it wouldn’t happen during the meeting.”

Men, do you see how jarring and stupid this is!?

[macrolit]

How many of these have you read?

[pixelartpeach]

E—m—d—a—s—h—N—e—c—k—l—a—c—e

[pixelartpeach]

Y—o—u—P—e—o—p—l—e—W—i—l—l—R—e—b—l—o—g—A—n—y—t—h—i—n—g

[seven-oh-four]

needs an em-dash at the beginning and/or end, otherwise the first or last letters will be right next to each other

[pixelartpeach]

϶—O—h—T—r—u—e—ϵ

(added clasps)

[pancake-blogging]

϶—F—r—i—e—n—d—s—h—i—p—B—r—a—c—e—l—e—t—ϵ

[too-many-blorbos]

϶—C—U—R—S—E—D—A—M—U—L—E—T—ϵ

[bees-official]

Cursed amulet necklace that doesnt have a cursed amulet its just the phrase cursed amulet

[sentientballofpeas]

϶—C—U—R—S—E—D—(¤)—A—M—U—L—E—T—ϵ

[pixelartpeach]

϶—T÷h÷a÷t÷s÷A÷G÷o÷o—d—P o

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀i n

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀t

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀S

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀I⠀⠀⠀⠀H

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀T

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀F

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀U

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀C

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀K

⠀⠀⠀⠀M⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Y

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀B⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀EA

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀D

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀S

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ϵ

[je-mappelle-sloppy-tomato]

So I was watching the new live action Avatar TLA and I have found the FUNNIEST THING

So in the first like episode and a half I didn’t hear Zuko say the word “honor” and I was really upset because like that’s his thing but then I heard him yell “YOU STOLE MY NOTEBOOK!” from the other room and my sister joked “they replaced his honor with his notebook,” and now I’m THRILLED because that means I get to say things like this:

“I must capture the avatar to restore my notebook!”

“For so long, I thought that I’d lost my notebook, and that somehow, you could give it back to me.”

“I need my notebook back.”

“What’s that? I think it’s your notebook!”

And last but definitely not least, “NOOOTEBOOOOOOKKKK!!!!”

[bloodyhellel]

My boyfriend literally 30 sec after I present him this pokemon : "Spoink me daddy"

It's been almost a day and I still laugh about it

[rudjedet]

Controversial Truths About Ancient Egypt Masterpost

The pyramids were built by contemporary workers who received wages and were fed and taken care of during construction

The Dendera “lightbulb” is a representation of the creation myth and has nothing to do with electricity

We didn’t find “““copper wiring””” in the great pyramid either

Hatshepsut wasn’t transgender

The gods didn’t actually have animal heads

Hieroglyphs aren’t mysteriously magical; they’re just a language (seriously we have shopping lists and work rosters and even ancient erotica)

The ancient Egyptian ethnicity wasn’t homogeneous

Noses (and ears, and arms) broke off statues and reliefs for a variety of reasons, none of which are “there is a widespread archaeological conspiracy to hide the Egyptian ethnicity”

[thatlittleegyptologist]

The carvings at Abydos aren’t modern machines but recarvings over old carvings. Sure they look like them but if you can read hieroglyphs and know that Ramesses II will even usurp the carvings of his own father just to be a little shit

[rudjedet]

‘No soot on the ceilings and walls of the Dendera temple!’ is actually because of extensive restoration works and not because Egyptians were in on shit like Baghdad “batteries”

While the Egyptians were fine-ass astronomers they didn’t align any of their enormous and/or important buildings to modern star constellations, because constellations look very different now than they did ~5000 years ago 

The pyramid is the simplest, sturdiest shape with which to build and many different cultures discovered this in their own time. There were never any weird fish humans/aliens involved

[rudjedet]

The sphinx of Gizah is only an approximate 5000 years old; the 10,000 year/rain erosion nonsense is proven hokum

Speaking of that particular sphinx, the Napoleonic expedition is not responsible for its missing nose

Akhenaten was not a “heretic” by contemporary standards

Ramses II appropriated a lot of his predecessors’ buildings/reliefs and isn’t really deserving of the epithet “the Great”

The Battle of Kadesh ended in a stalemate (twice)

[rudjedet]

While they had feline deities throughout their history, Egyptians didn’t actually worship cats themselves. This was a later Greek/Ptolemaeic addition

It was not, in fact, practice to shave off eyebrows after cats died; Herodotus lied about that

Herodotus lied about a lot of things and many misconceptions about ancient Egypt can be traced back to his Greek ass

[rudjedet]

I can’t believe I forgot my favourite Hill to Die On

Seth was not the god of “evil”, and despite his chaos providing a foil to order, he wasn’t completely villified until very late in Egyptian history, when he became associated with despised foreign enemies

[rudjedet]

Hats off to the few of you who’re reblogging this with tags saying you’re going to check my claims later. You make me not entirely despair of this hellhole.

Here are some vetted Egyptological books/sources (that are by and large appropriate for a lay-audience) you can find most, if not all of the above:

Lehner, M., The Complete Pyramids

Wilkinson, R. H., The Complete Temples of Ancient Egypt

Hornung, E., The One and the Many: Conceptions of God in Ancient Egypt

Dunand, F. & Zivie-Coche, C., Gods and Men in Egypt

Kemp, B., Ancient Egypt: Anatomy of a Civilization

Bard, K., An Introduction to the Archaeology of Ancient Egypt

Stevenson Smith, W., The Art and Architecture of Ancient Egypt

Kitchen, K. A., The Life and Times of Ramesses II, King of Egypt

Sweeney, D., Sex and Gender (in Ancient Egypt)

McDowell, A. G., Village Life in Ancient Egypt:  Laundry Lists and Love Songs

Te Velde, H., Seth, God of Confusion 

[rudjedet]

Guys do me a solid and reblog this version instead of continuously asking for sources on the other versions thanks

[chronic-backpain]

Excuse me please post ancient erotica link

[rudjedet]

hey it’s not my fault people keep reblogging the version without it!

[bloodyhellel]

Well folks, destiny has place upon my ear this sweet song and now I have two things :

A new band with plenty of song to discover

Fuel to my weyler obsession because do not tell me you're not seeing it

[bloodyhellel]

Not the best timing as Ao3 is not an option right now, but I'm kind of obsessed with Heather the Musical and Wednesday right now do any one has wrote a Weyler story with the songs in mind ?

I feel like "our love is god", "meant to be yours", "Seventeen" (in some way and definitely with Tyler doing Veronica part) and "Dead girl walking" (with some obvious modification to the plot because Wednesday can't be scared about a mean gir) could work with that ship

Like tell me that the "I wish your mom had been a little stronger" and " I wish I had more TNT" lines aren't Weyler coded

If it exist I hope you'll share with me, if not I hope it will give you inspiration 😆

[bloodyhellel]

To everyone out there who has forgot about the maintenance of AO3 and didn't prepare accordingly, let's be sad together 😢

[sabertoothwalrus]

for those who don’t remember, “mole interest” was an experiment I did 2 years ago because I wanted to test what causes tags to go trending on tumblr. My hypothesis was that all it takes is one (1) post blowing up in an established tag to make the entire tag trend.

I had randomly generated 2 words, which is where “mole interest” came from. I failed to consider that by generating a new tag, it wouldn’t have had enough posts already in it to prove what I now call “the mole interest effect”.

But now it does.

In 2023, we said “fuck it” a la mythbusters and ended up doing whatever it took to get #mole interest to trend. And it did. And it happened to be September 11th that day, and we managed to get #mole interest to trend ABOVE #9/11.

So, in the name of science, I ask you to reblog just this post. Let’s put the mole interest effect to the test.

[leiandroid]

this was not what the hokage had in mind when he tasked ino with showing the suna delegates around...

[luna-azzurra]

Quick tips for writing kisses

⇰ the pause. THE PAUSE. like “are we doing this? oh god we’re doing this.”

⇰ looking at each other’s mouths like it’s a life-or-death decision

⇰ someone whispering “can I?” or “just once” before going for it and RUINING ME EMOTIONALLY

⇰ hands. gripping shirts. cupping faces. hovering like “do I touch?? I WANNA TOUCH”

⇰ breath hitching?? yes. shakiness?? absolutely.

⇰ that stupid moment where one of them pulls back a few inches like “wait are you sure” and the other just goes for it again

⇰ kissing like they’re scared it’ll be the last time

⇰ kissing like they’ve been waiting ten goddamn years

⇰ teeth clashing awkwardly and both laughing about it but STILL FEELING IT

⇰ one of them freezing for a second mid-kiss because the feelings just hit

⇰ the post-kiss moment of “uh. so. yeah.” where neither knows what the hell just happened

⇰ OR the post-kiss forehead touch. destroy me.

[bloodyhellel]

That should be part of a masterpost