hello!! i just wanted to say that your art has helped me understand both Pathologic better and my life better by the way you lovingly render bodies and nudity! i especially am in love with your herb bride designs— seeing bodies like mine is so very special
One thing I remember about your art is that you don’t share the headcanon that Daniil is trans; and i believe that’s completely your right! i would love to try and understand why
Something I’ve come to realize while playing patho3 is why I believe Daniil is trans (of course it’s self-projection, but i believe the game invites it). Daniil has moments of misogyny in previous games, but in p3 he can actively call others out when he believes them to be misogynistic. Both in p1 and p3, many of his quests surround the women in town. He has proclaimed himself to be a misogynist— but his actions speak much louder than his words.
I’d say….. if he was trans, he’d consider himself one.
A misogynist, i mean. It took me a while not to be fearful of that when i transitioned. that’s why Daniil being trans is such an interesting concept. I’d like to think that he might be a girl doll repurposed by the powers that be. i think that’s why Artemy tells him that he runs his mouth too much. It’s because his words contradict his actions and it causes confusion for the town, just like in every other aspect of himself.
Daniil has a pathological (lol) need to explain himself, and I recognize that in myself. It’s because im a very confusing person to others
Daniil’s confusing! being trans is confusing to everyone else.
it’s the thesis of the game; only by actually understanding someone else’s story by being willing to hear it can you stop being confused. Only by telling his story, Daniil can stop being so confused about himself too
haiii thank you for your so sweets message first of all so happy big smile on my face to hear my #nudepictures make you feel glee... it makes me feel glee to do them.
second of all actually first.5 of all Let It Be Known i fw trans Dankovsky heavy, for the reasons you've mentioned there but also for many others that my beloved transkovsky truthers friends (my warriors and my shields #ifwyouheavy) have. Trans Dankovsky is a headcanon i consider thematically appropriate, thematically relevant, frankly thematically True as much as mine. ("does that mean there are headcanons you consider thematically inappropriate and irrelevant" YES!!!!! but i let people enjoy things #mycorner)
i'm gonna put it under a read more because i have a big image on this and i don't want to take someone's entire screen. big and greedy image.
i don't know how much i will have the energy to explain before the sleepies kick in, because that headcanon is embroiled in a web of others headcanons and of canon instances i should keep a word document on quite frankly, and the mind map currently looks like this
actually i am lying to you because i cannot find a picture of the other sheet i think i just. did not take one. & left it at home. so you're just gonna have to picture it. you know when the top of the sheet starts with "paleolithic proto-divinities" you're in for bad enough of a ride.
i'll start with the fact that lowkey? my headcanon of him as not-trans barely hinges on his canonical misogyny. there is of that, of course, but i'm, um. crazier. i will warn that my language might be a little binary because i'm going to juggle paleo&neolithic interpretations as well as mythological archetypes. just reading that i think you know what you're in for. I am locked in to degrees you cannot imagine
as pillars of the #lore:
i fw a mother-earth goddess lore heavy (canonical -> Boddho)
i fw a caverne originelle myth (canonical equivalence -> Abattoir)
a lot of my brain space is utilized to think about the neolithic "revolution of symbols" and the following, through the metal ages then antiquit(y/ies), advent and ascension of (PIE?) Sky-Father gods being equal to, or above Earth-Mother goddesses, until the historical flip of the Abrahamic religions, in which the Sky-Father fully and wholly supplants any remaining Earth-Mothers, through destruction of temples and idols, even if remnants of this exist in the catholic Marial cult ("regina caelis" = "queen of the sky/of the heavens" = title of MANY a near-eastern goddess; "mother of god" ≈ "mother of the gods" = Cybele, among others). one can say God has no gender, and it is not my prerogative to argue, but he is called a He, he is called Father and Lord, he is depicted (when he is) as a man, and he has been used to oppress women, denigrate homosexuals, consider spiritually impure the birth of a daughter or the act of menstruation, forbid women from having religious roles, etc etc. the purpose of a system is what it does, etc
related to this ^, i am heavily interested in the history of the advent of patriarchy as a social system of oppression. one hypothesis, which is interesting but i'm still looking into it, mentions the advent of private property, so during the first days of sedentarization of the neolithic, as the trigger for it. private property = it belongs to a family. in order for it to still belong to the family, one must have heirs. and in order for one to have heirs, one must control the reproduction of his wi(fe/ves).
i am interested in the psychological hangups that cis men have wrt pregnancy and abortion. i think it is multifold, but two folds come to the front: the cis male husband of his wife is afraid that the child is not his: in order to know whether or not the child is his, he should be constantly by his wife, and restrict her from having male company, to do so, he might trap her; and the cis male child of his mother is afraid of the all-power she has had on him while he was still in the womb: at any moment, she could have killed him. for this, and to palliate this deep fear of death (<- This Will Become Relevant Later), he forbids women from killing who he sees as him-possibly.
now if we combine cis men's hangups wrt pregnancy & abortion, the hypothesized advent of patriarchy as a social system of oppression, and Some Other Shit Too I Guess Man Whatever, we arrive to. possibly the main point of this lore: the cis man's hangup with creation as a whole, and The Mother's (socially or spiritually) role within it.
^ i um. didn't realize how long this was my bad. you understand why the mind map. AND☝ it is only a fraction of my points. anyways now we can eventually possibly see how that relates to dankovsky. eventually.
dankovsky's deal hinges on three (HAH!!!) pillars for this lore:
lone man, raised a believer (p3 lore you can choose, but my lore to me as well christian orthodox [so Sky-Father religion]), fighting the forces of an All-Mother (arche)type.
>> All-Mother archetypes are both sources of life (fertility goddesses, or the Earth herself) and open maw of grave (albanian Dhé/Dheu if you want to consider this, but in patho it is Very Literal. also true: unless cremated, (and often Even When Cremated historically), your dead bones are going into the earth)
lone man whose life work is to Kill Death: to go against the natural processes of Life, given to him by his mother, like was given to her by her mother before. he is trying to escape the trappings of the mechanisms of creation: from your flesh-mother you came, and to the earth-mother you will go back. <- this is, very plainly to me, one of the drives of cis men's advent of Sky-Father religions, MOST present in christianity, which i believe dankovsky was raised in: a desperate wrestling with their own creation, an attempt to wrestle power back into the patriarchal man's hands by giving it to a patriarchal god [very literally: rule of the father, the Sky-Father, our father who art in heaven etc = all religions are mythologies, all mythologies are social rules, social creations, social needs, social behaviors, and explanations put into a wider narrative context] [this is not a dunk on religion, it's just. the plain philological angle].
man who, alongside other men, (needs to) use(s) the women and female-called-Principles allied to their cause as lightning rods, >>vessels<<, conductors, muses, >>reflections<<. they are looking into them for what they do not have: the capacity to sustain life. it is particularly evident for me in Piotr, who calls the Tower (literally a womb hosting a homonculus-like Simon on the Changeling's map) his "daughter". this is the only daughter he has made: he creates art because he cannot create life; dankovsky, in turn, wholly throws itself into the preservation of this man-created life, for he, himself, cannot create life either. now it greatly despairs me that Karen Horney was a neo-freudian because god knows i wish i could dig that guy up and kill him again, and that she is the one credited with the term "womb envy", because 1) prolly coulda found this myself and 2) man it's really visible to me innit. letting someone possess you, creating "a daughter" from your body (brain/spirit) but not the parts associated with childbirth (= really reminiscent of Athena's birth, born from her father's skull, the ancient greeks being a Notoriously Patriarchal Culture), desire to have absolute control on life (here, by killing death) (= cis men's existential fright at not being That Involved in the creation of life to the point they gotta make gods of it).
oh my god this is so long and i'm running out of steam. i'm gonna try to tldr if you see shit i haven't put in before pretend i did
narrative equivalence with cis men's societal rejection of mother-goddesses by father-gods after millennia of cohabitation -> equivalence man-god with humanism/enlightenment -> insanely misogynist times lowkey -> man has supplanted god as figurehead, after men had used male god to rationalize men as figurehead -> tough luck buddy! Your Mother is here
narrative equivalence of desperate attempt at Protecting Unnatural Life (polyhedron) because cis men's inability to create of the flesh, so they create of the spirit, and in the cis man's mind creation of the spirit must be protected at all cost regardless of cost to the creations of the flesh (cf. p1 bachelor route associated ending; cf. birth of Athena)
a lot of his instances of secrecy, of over-explaining, etc are to me as readable as hiding a trans secret than hiding a cis gay one. i know a lot of people are really distanced from the blight on one's social life that used to be (and often still is, in a lot of places) a """plain""" cis gay guy, but like. they did chemically castrate men for this. they used to be baited by cops, rounded up in jail, abused for falling for the bait, so on.
narrative element of Le Enlightened Thinker (ages of enlightenment have historically only been for cis men. they were burning women at the stake during these)
narrative element of his father wanting to make an army man out of him = not unlikely for a trans guy ("if you wanna be a man you gotta do man stuff") but i personally see it anotha way (overcompensation for cis gay son [loss of heir, effeminacy, father projection own sexual insecurities on son etc])
narrative element of using the women & female-named-principles of the allied faction as vessels = why? because his ass can't
narrative element of routine rejection of the (i should talk about it sometime. but very prehistoric-coded in nature) lone mother earth and yet getting ass handed to him -> this happened to many a christian man i know. mary is coming
speaking of mary: the pin #lookslikethat for the same reason so many statues of mary #looklikethat = chassez le naturel il revient au galop / your mother is coming
narrative equivalence of the advent of cis male physicians supplanting midwives during birth -> worse for the mother giving birth, better for the physician
all of that in combination with the canonical misogyny and i'm like. yeah that's good enough for me
did not mean for this to be so #birth heavy (it's giving birth. etc) but pathologic has such an omnipresent All-Mother figure (which Gives Birth. like for real for real she does. the central core pillar point of the game is that her child is scary as fuckkkk) that it's the part of the mind map i have most developed currently.
all of that i've mentioned above ^ might ring as really trans (/self-hating or otherwise) to you. and that's fine and epic and correct we're holding hands etc. it is my personal headcanon that the fact that he was not raised with the expectation he'd be a mother and a wife one day, as a closeted trans guy in #thistimeperiod would have, and is completely detached from the Genuine Body Horror that is the threat of pregnancy, including and especiallyyy as someone i see as raised christian (god can just decide you'll carry his kid and he will not ask for your opinion) is one of the reasons why he is #likethis.
i. am aware i sound like this the whole way through
but. (soft smiles) it's true to me. so it's fine.
tldr of the tldr: his ass is going to the painted cave. go there in the cave.
and lastest of all.
I do this so you don't have to. and you do that so I don't have to.
together we make two halves of a dankovsky whole etc. blessings and beloveds be upon your household and your headcanons🫂 hope this was not. too long and rambly. does it show i really like prehistoric mythology
Apologies if it took a bit for me to respond, i was so excited by your analysis!!
You’ve managed to put into words what I couldn’t— from lack of cultural context, not so much, but from the way my brain processes things (images and scenes, not words and thoughts)!
Your words helped me understand my thoughts by substantiating them with evidence and reason, so thank you for taking the time to write all of those words! I have adhd, and I also see that reflected deeply in the way Daniil interacts with the world and by seeing his thought map.
whenever you’re up to it, I would love to hear your thoughts on the Termitary. I’ve recently realized how it’s supposed to represent a city (Termitary = a colony of termites, a colony of termites = a city) and that is why when it was locked up, they simultaneously rioted and got sick with the sand pest.
This also has to do with why those sick with the sand pest reach out to you (the player), and why those sick with the sand pest can’t help but infect others.
i guess what I wanted to say is thank you for your time and thoughts! mine often come out jumbled and confused, but by observing how others lay out their own, I have become better at it
In USA if you insult their jingoistic toy commercials you are forced by the secret police of overgrown toddlers known as Der Fandöm to grovel in suppliance before their capitalist idols
Will Graham gives major psycho girlfriend vibes. Major "YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE" screaming crying throwing up because Hannibal forgot to kiss him goodbye or some minor shit
Hannibal seems a little more in control of his emotions, I mean even in Mizumono he managed not to scream YOU FUCKER I WAS SO IN LOVE AND LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE so I feel like he'd be constantly dying on the inside but wouldn't say anything. But he'd certainly do things. Like when he drove idk how many hours when Will was 5 minutes late to his session. He'd sleep on the couch out of nowhere and when Will questions him, he'd be like "oh it's nothing I just thought maybe you needed space" *skin threatening to fall off his entire body in utter agony and fear of being unloved*
Today I explained why I can't really travel to Florida right now to my dad & watching him get increasingly frustrated with the realization that Transphobia Exists was honestly something else.
him: "well if you're not allowed to use the men's bathroom, just go to the women's! that'll show them."
me: "yeah but I'm just as likely to have the cops called on me for 'using the wrong bathroom' in there. have you seen me lately?"
him: "but if one of the options is wrong and not allowed then the other one has to be the right option. what do they want you to do?"
my grandma, helpfully: "I think they want trans people to not go to Florida"
my dad: spluttering frustratedly
me: "I think the thing is that you are more logical and reasonable than Ron DeSantis."
the face of a semi-reformed(?) conservative when realizing with dawning horror that laws can be unfair on purpose is truly special tbh
"Kill them with kindness" Nah, fuck that, CRICKET BAT 🏏 🏏🏏🏏*SMACK* 🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏
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