They/He/She|Genderfaunet|Gay, just kind of throwing things out there into the void. I like art, music, reading, writing, fics, and generally being creative(while also being sassy and/or sarcastic.) Highschooler
The longer it gets the less of it I have written down. It goes: Title (what I call/tag it) btw - I will update this with every new full idea 😭. The CWs will only be at the top if it is mentioned in the “blurb” so to speak.
(P. S. I might post some lil’ fics on my AO3 so, uh, here it is as a link; my user is VarietyBlue. Disclaimer for my bookmarks, I’m kinda a freak on main cause I have no shame)
Anyway:
The Realm: The Medic and His Soldier (Waren and Darby):
Set in The Realm, this follows Waren, a now-retired soldier of The Order of the Rising Wall with a shit ton of trauma surrounding people in general, and Darby, a kind yet sometimes clinical military medic. They’re both somewhat apprehensive of what is ahead, especially when it comes to the rebels that brought them together in the first place. Tori is really trying her best to keep Darby, her practical brother, out of trouble; however, her attempts are in vain as her job in the bomb squad keeps her away for long periods of time. Perfect time for him to do something stupid while Waren has seemingly disappeared. Split POVs, Waren and Darby.
CW: PTSD, past child abuse(physical, emotional), torture(thrice), panic attacks, slight homophobia, slight heterophobia (there’s a brief mention that when Darby came out as Bi, his father said he still had a chance; he meant it would’ve been better if he was gay), brief mention of alcoholism, classism(non-mage, mage).
Continued under cut I didn’t want this to be like miles long:
The Realm: Book One (The Realm):
Set in The Realm, this is the background to all of the other books in the universe. This follows Maryi, Protector of Peace and then Descenter of the Gods, as they try and fail multiple times to capture and perhaps kill Dot, their arch nemesis and their destined ally. Overall, this has accidentally turned from action and fighting to dealing with grief, a lot of salty thoughts, and dying. Main POV Maryi, almost never switches except in the prologue which follows Zemi the Demigod and his subsequent death.
CW: a lot of suicidal idealization, PTSD, racism, classism, a shit ton of other things spouted by Dot, sometimes gratuitous descriptions of dead bodies, death is a theme
Plotting Their Demise (Liann and Nickolas):
Set in Nuham, first book in the Piné Trilogy. Liann is an ambassador for the Pendatan region, and he has a score to settle. Nickolas is the last born child of the Kendran region, which is now run by his brother, the eldest of his three siblings; Nick does not want to be on this political venture in the first place, let alone be dragged into someone else’s scheming. But when this scheming involves a rather intriguing ambassador. . .maybe he could free up his non-existent schedule to help out. Main POV Liann, secondary Nickolas.
CW: transphobia(in only around three(?) scenes I may not even post so), misgendering(like once?),
The Shadows We Hide:
Set in an urban-fantasy-like area with magic and “Harnessers,” who are born corrupted and intertwined with magic. Harnessers are usually rabid and completely inept at understanding others’ emotions but not Daroak, no, he’s nearly human. Alvira really wasn’t trying nor hoping to get kidnapped after her routine night job of killing off Harnessers, but is anyone? Daroak has gotten out, it’s finally happened; all he needs is to get someone to help him. After that it’ll all be fine. POVs: Daroak and Alvira.
CW: self harm, thoughts of self harm, sometimes gratuitous description of dead bodies and blood, suicidal idealization, panic attacks, long periods of isolation, past memories of experimentation.
To Take A Kingdom:
Set in Nuham before all of the other books, it follows the eventual King, Kinder, and his eventual consort/king Umber. Kinder and Umber are each other's other halves, brothers in all senses except blood, bestest of friends. . .except they both kind of want it to be more. They’ve grown up together, schemed together, tried so very hard to not miss the other when they’ve barely left together, everything! Now Umber has another one of his plans, but it’s a lot bigger this time. He wants to stop the war against the People of the forest; the Kingdom of Nuham has encroached on the Peoples’ lands for decades, and now their knights are coming for the Peoples’ precious forests and they just wouldn’t have that. Kinder has to go with him, no matter how many doubts, because this is his other half, and he can’t protect him if he’s muddling around with restless rebels all alone. And then there’s the forest in his throat problem, but he’ll deal with that later. POV Kinder.
CW: racism, xenophobia, (idk where to put it but like they cough up forest shit so if that makes you nervy)
[Unnamed] (Cadion and Damian):
Set in Nuham, many years after Kinder is now King Kinder, and Umber was officially declared his consort who knows how many years ago (most citizens are just waiting for the wedding at this point). Cadion is at a university in Quinnterra, a practicing Hypnotic Mage on the cusp of becoming a Master after nearly twelve years of mage-school; he hasn’t stayed in one place for very long, moving from university to university with his friends just like his parents used to drag him around for their *very important mage work*. Damian works in markets, as his mother, and his mother’s mother, and his mother’s mother’s mot—you get the idea, don’t you? It’s been a while. His mother isn’t exactly the caring type, especially since his sister ran off to gods below knew where eight-or-so years ago. The two of them run into each other during the first week of university, when Cadion needs supplies and gets word from his rather destined to just be a bigot friend Jason. He still holds hope for his friend, and he doesn’t believe it when the man says there’s nothing going on behind the scenes. He surely doesn’t believe it when he sees exactly what’s going on, either. Main POV Cadion, side Damian.
CW: classism, internalized classism, panic attacks, racism (a little), self-mutilation(subject to change, current idea is an empathic monster so…pain).
[Unnamed] (Aaron’s Book):
Set in Nuham, second of three books for the Piné siblings. Lord Aaron has just gotten done with the whole Nickolas-not-wanting-to-be-political-then-suddenly-becoming-very-interested fiasco, and he’s done with being a lord. Well, not really, but he gets this way from time to time; no shock that this time it was because someone decided that they could poison his little brother and get away with it, Nickolas gets into that kind of shit a lot. He’s really taking this to get reacquainted with his people, understand the poisoning on the side, and see Orion again. Orion is a blacksmith born and raised in the mountains, dragged down to the valley closest to the Lord of the land’s manor after becoming his ambassador’s partner, and Aaron’s own later down the line. Scana is the aforementioned ambassador, an outsider inbred with Nuham’s own Quinnterra, and a street fighter when push comes to shove. The three of this rag-tag team get caught up in the local region way more than they should, getting a child off the street(Jackie), meeting foreign lords, ambassadors from other regions, and even the Special Knight Force after a rather unfortunate run-in with bandits. Will they even get home? I have no clue, I’ve only an idea for this tbh.
CW: slight polyphobia, PTSD, past child abuse, slight alcohol abuse, potentially triggering talk about being trans(everyone supports Jackson, it’s just a bit…complicated for a little).
Freddie the Alien:
Set in Nuham with the Special Knight Forces, who we actually meet in To Take A Kingdom. This is after, when they’ve finally got orders to come home. This all starts with Pete, or Sir Knight Paetoire, who is the “leader” of the group. It’s really more of a trio who think and move so intertwined that they’re fluent in each other’s body language, facial tics, and everything in between. Pete finds a young boy on a farm scared, shaking in his boots outside of the main house. Turns out the man who “owned” him was beating on another farm hand who didn’t do their job right. While Pete cannot save the man’s own son by Knightly decree, he can save the poor boy outside. Freddie isn’t from here, not at all, and he’s not sure how he got here. He does know that he wants to be human worse than anything. Fen is the Lady Knight of the group, hard outer shell and slightly harder inside, she’s the strategist but not a leader. She really cares, just shows it rather than tells. Then there’s Sir Knight Vianne. Cursed as some might say, they’ve been stuck to the two other knights for gods below know how long with only one relief: they’re deaf. Gifted from a mage, they’ve got some nice hearing aids, but gods they’re whiny; they usually speak in sign special to the three knights and eventually Freddie, as it’s an amalgamation of different signs throughout their years. POV switches between the four, but it’s mainly Pete.
CW: internalized xenophobia(he wants to be human and has taken that to mean that everything else that isn’t sucks), ableism,
When the Wick Burns Out:
- brief content warning - mentioned rape in blurb
Soon after the new king is instated—King Kinder—Torin gets a visit from a former “friend” of her mother’s. Torin is a kind yet ruthless soul, known to have been taking care of her region long before her mother died. Her mother was a druggie, sex addict, alcoholic, everything since her “husband”—really more of a one time thing but then she got pregnant with Torin and everything kind of spiraled—left. Torin leaned on the other leads of regions she thought she could count on, Lord Michael, a sleazy son of a bitch that deserves everything bad; and Lady Daine, who paid this “friend” of Torin’s mother to kill her off to weaken the Pendatan region and perhaps take it for herself—Torin is a rather influential noble at this point, though it has mostly been anonymous. In the shortest of short terms, this “friend” raped her. This novella is about Torin’s rise to Pendatan Ladyship, and about her relationship with Lord Kine and his ambassador, Sara Antonio, who is Liann’s mother. This is before Liann transitions and therefore we see little Liann and his struggles while he is ~12, although it is mostly background noise to Torin working through everything with Sara and Kine while distancing herself from the others—purposefully. Kine is tired, slightly anxious, and probably clinically alone except for his jigsaw family. When he sees Torin in need, he can’t not lend a hand to the sinking ship, even if that ship is scared of him from the get go. POV Torin.
CW: rape, PTSD, nightmares from past trauma, panic attacks, victim blaming, internalized victim blaming, slut shaming
Impulsive Decisions - [Link to Entity List]
Set in The Realm during the darker times but before Maryi joins Dot and while Hazel is still “missing,” it follows a trio of “Scrappers” who are trying to gain information on entities and their creators. Scrappers are the trackers of entities; the judge, jury, and executioners; the stalkers; whatever they claim to be, they slay entities throughout their regions of the realm and are usually somewhat nomadic. This takes place/starts in Nemesis, specifically in a rather prosperous coastal city where shitty cars are available. Our main character and first-person POV is Idon, a former Scrapper before they attempted a suicide mission and got turned into a vampire—which are in The Realm, but slightly different. His best friend/sibling Killian, or Kills, disapproves of Louis and is still a Scrapper; they say the only reason they haven’t killed Louis is because he means so much to Idon. Then there’s the vampire in question. Louis hadn’t intended to turn Idon, but when he saw him barely breathing and near death in a way a human wouldn’t live through, he did what he had to. In a diner, the trio are peacefully talking over plans for upcoming hangouts when a strange thing walks in. It isn’t human, it speaks in static-filled speech: a Splitter. Entities roaming the streets of a well protected city. Something has to be done, whether everyone participating want to or not.
CW: panic attacks(one kind of right off the bat), blood/gore, suicidal idealization(in flashbacks if I do them and mentioned)
To make up for no Cabin of Feathers update for June, here's a special extended bonus preview chapter 22 that'll be dropping in July!!
wait. do you hear those chimes?? can you hear them??? sounds like it's Fluff O'Clock babey eeeyyyyyy [air horn noises][gunshots]
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Cas is so preoccupied with what he’s doing, back to the doorway of the kitchen, that he doesn’t notice when Dean enters. He’s still wearing the suit pants, but his trench coat is draped across the back of one of the chairs, so his back is completely bare. Dean meant to announce his presence, but instead he finds himself folding his arms, leaning against the doorway, and just staring for a minute.
Cas’s large crow wings are folded up neatly against his back, though they twitch a little when he reaches over for something on the counter. He shakes some salt into a pan, that’s clearly got something burning in there, and the thick muscles surrounding his shoulder blades contract and ripple with the movement. Dean has seen and felt the extra muscles there before, but it’s like he’s newly fascinated by it all every time he sees it. Even from across the kitchen it’s also easy to see where the black feathers of the wings get smaller and smaller until they merge with flesh and just a few tiny feathers break through skin, like a collection of strange prickly black freckles.
Finally, Dean fully enters the kitchen and says, laughter in his voice, “Jesus, Cas, you trying to burn down the cabin?”
Cas’s wings flare in surprise as he whips around at the stove, spatula in hand, grease and soot smudged across his cheek. His hair is sticking up in nearly every direction on one side, while completely flat on the other, like he literally just got out of bed and stumbled down here to cook. Maybe he did. His broad chest and shoulders are also now fully on display, alongside his flared wings, and he should not be able to look both this adorable and badass at the same time.
There’s a pile of black toast, some extremely crispy bacon slices, and a few lumps of mystery goo, all strewn across the counter next to him. A bowl nearby has what looks like an attempt at pancake batter inside, but the spoon is standing straight up in the middle of it, so the consistency seems questionable.
“Dean,” Cas says, though it’s more an exhale of relief than anything. “I tried to cook you something. It’s not going well.”
God sometimes I'm writing smut and I'll like, delete a sentence because I'm like, no, I can't write that. It's too indulgent. And then it's like. Girl, what the fuck are you even going to the candy store for if you're just going to buy raisins. Get real.
the men in my life are all good men, or, at least, they are men who are not violent - and that is enough for a man to be considered good; that he could be violent but is not.
the men in my life are good men. recently at a hardware store one of the men in my life let me stand behind him, just a little, in that ghosting way that girls can learn. the disappearing technique we master of shadowing behind our Good Men. this was to protect me from a man who was not-being-good.
i fall down. one of the good men in my life offers me one arm like a knight, we are laughing while i clamber back onto my feet. i give the good men in my life piggy back rides because i like to show off how strong i am. i give the good men in my life run-at-them hugs. i let the good men in my life pick me up like i am a sack of grain; i get the good men in my life coffee, i make them sandwiches, i teach them dancing.
i am a man-hater, obviously. i am gay enough the insult is sort of funny. waiting for the bus, where there are men who are not-known-to-be-good, i google how to make a fist. i can never remember if the thumb goes on the outside or the inside, only that it is imperative that i do not fuck it up or i will break my thumb at the same time the man tries to break me.
i walk my dog around the track only-at-dusk and-no-later. i made that mistake once, in august, hoping i could take a later run and maybe see the stars - i romanticized the idea of being able to skulk like a fox. the man that followed me across three lawns, two road-crossings, and back to my car - he spent the whole time whistling. the good men in my life say - oh, do you need me to come with you? and are actually asking - do you feel safe?
i fall down in a supermarket. a man i do not know grabs the inside of my knee. i do not know if the man is good, but i am supposed to give men the benefit of the doubt, so i laugh while standing. a man trying-to-be-in-my-life says what, no hug? and i have to decide if it worth it to just take off or put up with it. a man who-might-not-be-good stares at me while i walk by - i have to calculate if he’s just looking or if he’s watching. other men have badly hurt me, physically. the casual remark made is that those men are not real men. but they were real enough, to me.
there are many men who are mad at me. an entire reddit thread once was dedicated to how to dox me for feminist ranting - it was kind of funny, when it wasn’t downright scary. i have been stalked and harassed and treated horribly. they are all good men, in their own lives, you know. they are not violent, usually, unless provoked, and all it takes for a man to be good is for him to not be violent unless provoked, and i am, of course, always provoking.
a man in my life rolls his eyes. “i am sick of hearing this. we get it, all men are fucking evil. get over it.”
a man who-is-not-good shouts something unwritable at me. i have to tell the good man i am standing next to - it’s okay, this is nothing compared to what-could-be, this happens, it’s really not that big of a deal to me.
Thinking about how terrified Dean is to reach for anything he wants, because it always always gets ripped away from him, devastatingly and without mercy.
And that maybe his first kiss with Cas, something tender and crushing, leaves him shaking. Sends him into a panic because something's gonna take him he's gonna lose Cas and Dean is terrified and he needs to protect Cas from whatever's coming and so he begs against Cas' lips for him to possess me you have to possess me please you have to because shielding Cas in his body, that can hold archangels, is the only thing that feels like it'll keep Cas from being taken from him again.
I think Cas stealing other angel’s grace should have been grislier. I think he should have had to crack rib cages open or drink blood or eat hearts. I think it should have worked less well, his vessel struggling with the unfamiliar grace like a rejected organ. I would have liked some more horror in my horror show
