returning to myself

just me and my uncertainty. blog for more depressing shit. if you need something good in life follow @blurry-blessings for a bunch of positivity

[thoughtcascades]

i don’t know how to want things without feeling guilty for wanting them too much

[josilverdragon]

"The horrors persist but so do libraries, books, iced coffee, sunsets, trees, the word 'fuck', the moon and the sea."

[milf-adjacent]

It has come to my attention that some of you have not actually seen the music video for Ghengis Khan by Miike Snow so I've taken it on myself to end your ignorance of this piece of cinema

[milf-adjacent]

The greatest cinematic experience of 2016, weren't you watching?

[milf-adjacent]

They"re all but @-ing me on twitter

[kejter]

[cryptidfuckery]

Mind horse

[cryptidfuckery]

[vardasvapors]

my gf and i after seeing this decided to both draw ref-less mind horses in 5 mins, and i was like ‘shit i can’t understand what a horse’s proportions are even though i’m visualizing very clearly ig it really is hard’

but then i saw my gf’s..................

[akumeoy]

[akumeoy]

i mean you're right, i started transitioning about eight months after this, but i have no idea how you got that from the post

[2x16]

i was talking to my mom about cardassians and said something along the lines of ‘what must it be like to be a cardassian civilian. like abstractly knowing the rest of the galaxy thinks of your species as ‘the evil ones’ and kinda sorta knowing your government runs labor camps and torture prisons and is a military empire, and it’s a huge deal for everyone else in the galaxy, but you just like run a restaurant so it’s not a big part of your daily life, so you just like, go about your day and make soup and don’t think about it’ and then halfway through my sentence i actually heard myself and then had to go sit down for like ten minutes. like sat down in a chair and stared at the floor for ten minutes

[meangirlnurse]

in real life you will probably not respond to harassment in a sexy, clever, scripted way where you come out with the upper hand and everyone claps. you will freeze up and your moment will pass, or your voice will shake when you tell them to stop and you’ll realize two minutes later that you’re gross and sweaty and sticky from the adrenaline. maybe you’ll be on the ball and answer in a way you actually think is pretty smart and get ignored, or they’ll get more aggressive when you mouth off to them. you almost never will walk away feeling victorious. you walk away feeling uncomfortable and relieved that it’s over. you’ll think about it later and imagine that maybe you could have said something else. maybe you’ll feel ashamed that you weren’t quicker-witted, weren’t able to cut them down to size, weren’t able to avoid that lingering sick feeling in the pit of your stomach, as though there’s some kind of magical words you could have said that would have left you feeling less powerless. there really aren’t. 

[gwynndolynnequincy-deactivated2]

Honestly this is such an important lesson to learn. If someone threatens, belittles, or verbally assaults you, you will likely feel bad, no matter how you respond. Please don’t beat yourself up for feeling emotions that are perfectly healthy and justified. 

[naga-noia]

i went to it gets better island and me n you from the future were there

[cowboystokes]

got a little haunted by the fact i still can’t transition . i also just love drawing plants. pairs nicely with my old boys will be boys piece

insp by @sweatermuppet

[traumasurvivors]

Anger is one of the most invalidated emotions in trauma recovery. People often say things like, “Being angry just lets them win,” or “You’re only hurting yourself.” But that isn’t true. Anger is a normal, valid part of healing.

Anger isn’t automatically bad. There’s destructive anger, which lashes out or harms yourself and others, and constructive anger, which helps you understand your pain, your needs, and what boundaries you want to set. Ignoring anger or bottling it up often leads to blow-ups or misdirected frustration later.

For me, learning to feel anger was a turning point. For years I blamed myself for my trauma. Feeling angry at those who hurt me was the first step toward realizing I didn’t deserve what happened. My anger was grief, betrayal, and the part of me that wanted to be safe.

Constructive anger can be a powerful tool. It can:

Motivate you to set boundaries or leave unsafe situations

Help you advocate for change or take action in your own life

Push you toward healing and growth

Anger becomes a problem when it consumes you or causes harm but the feeling itself isn’t bad. Listening to it, understanding where it comes from, and channeling it in safe ways (like journaling, exercise, or creative outlets) can make it part of your healing.

Your anger doesn’t mean they’re “winning.” Sometimes, it means you are because you’re finally putting the blame where it belongs and giving yourself the chance to heal. 

I wrote a longer post about this here. 

[11990904]

You will make mistakes, you will act irrationally. You will commit some wrongs that cannot be fully righted. People will dislike you and misunderstand you for all sorts of reasons. None of these things make you a bad person. All you can do is try your best to be kind, to learn and grow.

[syn4k]

ok note to self i gotta leave the house regularly so that i dont feel like im slowly transforming into an evil fucking shadow clone of myself

[syn4k]

So as it turns out your sense of self doesnt exist in a vacuum. You gotta actually use it and bounce it off of other people like echolocation to see where you are as a person and shit. So if you dont regularly interact with other people the echoes just get weaker and weaker and before you know it your personality is a blurry fucked up fog clone of its former self. which it sucks because this makes it really hard to interact with people again but yknow

[doccyuk]

"Individuals aren't naturally paid-up members of the human race, except biologically. They need to be bounced around by the Brownian motion of society, which is a mechanism by which human beings constantly remind one another that they are...well...human beings."

Terry Pratchett, "Men At Arms"

[animentality]

[creature-wizard]

[ID: X posts from user @/bluewmist. The posts say:

"the fastest way to kill motivation is to make your identity depend on the outcome. it's called ego involvement. when failing become failing as a person, your brain starts avoiding the whole thing. not because you don't care, but because you care too much."

"you don't need lower standards. you need less self-worth tangled up in your goals. the work gets easier when it's not about proving who you are." /End ID]

[gelphienation]

I mean surely we all grew up feeling like there was a wrongness inherently deep inside us that will endure for the rest of our lives

[stuckinapril]

Honestly it boils down to reparenting yourself & rewiring your own neuronal pathways & telling yourself a firm “stop” when you notice your mind slipping down negative loopholes & being present in the moment & enjoying being mid task rather than waiting for it to end & not thinking of inertia as your baseline and natural way of living

[stuckinapril]

So tempting to keep embarking on the same self destructive cycle over & over & over again . But at some point you have to put ur foot down w ur own behaviors & be the thing that truly saves u

[sicsicthewolves]

#this is unfortunately true#it’s not easy to tell yourself Hey Drop It#like you’re your own dog furtively eating pinecones and rocks#but you gotta#sometimes it’s a Hey We’re Not Doing That#you gotta though

[gullahch1ld]

Sometimes it is your fault.. Sometimes you don’t listen well enough, you’re selfish, you’re rude and you aren’t always right. Sometimes you fucked it up and tbh that’s okay. It happens, learn from it, apologize and keep it moving. Just because you fucked up doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. Don’t dwell on it

[moonlitswims-deactivated2024010]

no but this is so important.. it’s so important to just accept you can fuck up you’re allowed to fuck up. you’re allowed to be wrong and it won’t be shameful, it won’t be the worst thing to happen. you’ll either let it go or learn from it and not let it happen again and that’s good.

[auntymurda]

You gotta make peace with being on bad terms with people you still care about, and also make peace with situations where you knew you did no wrong but was painted as the bad guy anyway. Shit hurts, but it’s life