Scream To Be Heard @boderlinepigeon - Tumblr Blog

kaerlighedsbrev-deactivated2020

maybe… support mentally ill ppl even when u don’t like their symptoms??? support schizophrenics who frantically search every room they enter because they are scared of Something, support splitting borderlines, jealous narcissists, very sexual histrionics, schizoids who don’t fake empathy, systems with “mean” alters, irritated bipolar people, schizotypals who never “make sense”, paranoids who constantly constantly check on others to see if they’re causing them harm even though they don’t know them, antisocials who don’t try to be “nice”, avoidants who will avoid you for weeks and then message once and disappear again, dependents who can’t even dress without help deciding on what, ocpd people who need you to do things again and again and again until you do it Right, ocd people with “disgusting” intrusive thoughts and compulsions, psychotic people who yell “to themselves” and cope badly with their hallucinations, autistic people who don’t interact the way you want them to, adhd people who literally never sit still or listen to you, anxious people who always sweat, people w ptsd who refuse to let go off their trauma, people with addictions you consider to be “to blame” and with “ugly” withdrawal symptoms and everyone else. mental illness doesn’t just have symptoms you like and you have to accept that.

furiousgoldfish

I’m telling you

to not hit your kids

to not spank or slap or punch or lash them

because it fucking traumatizes them

if you can’t handle irritation

if you can’t handle hyperactivity and loudness and wildness of a new human in development who is figuring out how their body works and what they can do and what they want to do

then what the fuck did you expect a child is

did you have kids with expectations of “oh i’ll have a small human i’ll be able to control completely”

“oh i’ll be able to shape this small creature into whatever I want it to be”

“oh I’ll have someone to support me and to work for me and pay for itself”

“oh I’ll have someone to comfort me and to love me despite my manipulative and cruel nature because they depend on me”

“oh I’ll be able to live the life I couldn’t through this new human that I made for myself who should listen to me always”

then fucking change all of these expectations to “I have chosen to help a new human to grow into whatever they’re supposed to be and I WILL NOT MESS WITH THEIR DEVELOPMENT TO SATISFY MY PERSONAL NEEDS”

If you can’t just fucking cherish that you have someone’s complete trust and affection and that you can watch them grow and figure everything, that you can follow through their phases and support them and be damn proud of them when they become what they want to be

then you’re not a parent material

stop fucking up your kids lives to make yourself feel better

asshole.

lithonate-deactivated20201001

“stop overreacting” ma’am i have bpd

inahiddenplace

me last night: i feel so alone…. no one loves me…. wahh boo hoo

me today: i love MUD i don’t need LOVE or AFFECTION all i need is the soil that nourishes all life on this earth *listens to girls just want to have fun on loop while lying in the dirt*

furiousgoldfish

(TW) csa symptoms that are not talked about (let me know if you are struggling with this):

re-living some aspects of the abuse (feeling uncomfortable, aroused but scared, having intrusive thoughts and memories) every time you have to go to the bathroom

sick fantasies, attraction towards pain, humiliation, control or being controlled, rape fantasies, really cruel and twisted fantasies

feeling disgusted with yourself because of the sick fantasies, wondering what is wrong with you and if you’re some sort of monster for imagining that

trying to desperately stop the fantasies but eventually giving in and feeling guilty

trying to have normal fantasies but in the end most of them re-enact abuse in some way (one person is in power over another, something is forced against your will, you are pressured or forced into something, your assent is ignored or dismissed, one person is using another as an object or service, there’s manipulation, humiliation, abuse, violence and pain involved, the situation is one of obligation to have sex and not done out of true desire for intimacy)

losing your ability to refuse or reject someone when in sexual situation

losing your ability to say no or defend yourself in a sexual situation

losing your ability to speak in a sexual situation

even if you desire intimacy once in a sexual situation you find yourself just waiting until it’s over and doing anything to end it faster

inevitably feeling fear and strong possibility of getting hurt in a sexual situation

feeling like a child in a sexual situation

re-living all the emotions you felt during sexual abuse, in any sexual situation

feeling terrified of sex in general, but still craving it

belief that sex is the only true form of intimacy and feeling awful and destroyed for not being able to share that with anyone anymore

belief that nobody will want you like this and that you’re irreparably damaged

bipolarblueberries

“I’m not really mentally ill, I’m just faking this.” - A mentally ill proverb

ilostmyhouse

friendly reminder that u cannot have a system unless

u experienced severe recurrent trauma below the age

of 11. it is literally not possible. past that age you no

longer have a fragmented identity that can be fucked

with like that, it is PHYSICALLY impossible, w/ that

said I’m sorry u were traumatized at 12, 13 and 14,

etc. but u just can’t develop a system after that. u

also aren’t born with one. Idk what’s y’all obsession

w/ wanting to be different or quirky but fuck u lmfao,

this is a wholly anti-endogenic space cuz y’all are a

mockery and a bastardization to the DID community

with erasing all our hard work at gaining recognition.

if u can’t remember ur trauma? that’s okay! I barely

do!! but once again, if u were not traumatized below

the age of 11I’m oh so sorry, but DID/OSDD just isn’t

possible. if u are/support endos? get the fuck off my

blog lmfao im not in the mood to deal with such

blatant idiocy and ableism especially as a

neuroscience and behavioral studies student.

u are doing nothing but harming real systems as a

whole, so fuck off and goodnight

-ali

difficultsuggestions

Love doesn’t leave you traumatized.

difficultsuggestions

Listen to me, LOVE doesn’t leave you traumatized. What was happening to you wasn’t love.

faeneko-blog

Crayola Crayon Color Asks

Macaroni and Cheese: What makes you think of your childhood?

Spring Green: How do you relax when you’re stressed?

Asparagus: What’s an unpopular opinion you have?

Bittersweet: Has someone you loved ever hurt you?

Eggplant: Explain your url and avatar.

Outer Space: Do you ever feel like you’re an outcast from others?

Cotton Candy: What is your favorite dessert?

Freckle: Do you have any marks on your skin? How do you feel about them?

Shocking Pink: Is there a trait that you have that others don’t expect from you?

Robin’s Egg Blue: If you were an animal, which one do you think would you be?

Granny Smith Apple: What’s something everyone else likes that you don’t?

Dandelion: What’s a pet peeve of yours?

Atomic Tangerine: What gets you motivated to do a difficult task?

Wisteria: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

Candy Apple: How do you think others view you?

Plum: Are you insecure about anything?

Sky Blue: Where do you feel the most at home?

Tickle Me Pink: How do you try to cheer others up when they’re sad?

Wild Strawberry: Do you care what others think about you?

Glossy Grape: Recommend something to your followers.

World Wide Web Yellow: What was the last thing you looked up?

Shadow Blue: Do you have a darker side to you that most people are unaware of?

Electric LIme: What genre of music do you listen to?

Night Owl: Describe a very interesting dream that you had.

Cornflower: What do you think about the most?

Grasshopper Green: Describe the area where you live.

Misty Moss: Is there anything you regret?

Tiny Toad Brown: Do you find beauty in something that people consider to be ugly or undesirable?

Sunny Side Up: Do you like waking up in the mornings, or would you rather sleep in?

Kitten Gray: Do you have any pets? If so, describe them.

Rose Dust: Describe your aesthetic in five words or less.

Timberwolf: Do you give second chances when somebody has wronged you?

Freshly Squeezed: What excites you?

Firefly Red: What gives you purpose?

Tiny Teapot Tan: Do you consider yourself to be attractive/cute?

Rain Drop Blue: Describe the weather outside.

Sweet Pea Green: Do you have/want children?

Pussywillow: Do you like being around others, or do you like being alone?

Jack ‘O’ Lantern Orange: What’s your biggest fear and why?

Baby Bunny Pink: Do you look young for your age, or do you look older than you are?

Mystic Maroon: What confuses you, and why?

Cosmic Cobalt: What’s your zodiac sign, and do you think it’s accurate?

Petal Pink: Describe your fashion sense as well as what you’re wearing right now.

Mountain Meadow: Do you like taking care of others, or do you prefer being care of?

Fuzzy Duckling Yellow: Is there something from childhood that you haven’t outgrown?

Brussel Sproutlet: Do you have any unhealthy habits?

Razzle Dazzle Rose: Describe an ideal date.

Periwinkle: What’s something ordinary that has personal meaning to you?

Mauvelous: Do you think you deserve a better life than you have now?

Blueberry Blue: Do you get sad easily?

Purple Mountains Majesty: How does someone earn your respect?

The moment when your favorite person ignores you and treats you like dirt and every time you voice your feelings it sounds manipulative. So you just let the feelings sit until mr. self destructive walks in and now chain smoking and calling an abusive ex is in. Yeah that moment fucking sucks

#bpd fp #bpd #self destruction #borderline personality problems #borderline problems #borderline thoughts #bpd problems #bpd thoughts #actually bpd #bpd stuff #actually boderline #abandoment issues #cluster b

I have a person I can not bring myself to hate. I love her and she says she cares about me but I don’t see it. I feel abandoned by her. Why? Because I am ignored and treated like nothing or something that can’t be handled. While she comforts and hangs out with a friend who has BPD but also hurt her so badly. It doesn’t make any sense. Why am I left but an awful person gets all their love. I can’t stand this and I don’t wanna hurt myself or anything to make her feel bad. But how can I make her see how awful she’s being? Because every idea I have feels like manipulation and I can’t keep doing this.