Interrogate Yourself Into A Better Mood.
Let’s face it. The last thing you want to do when you’re feeling crummy is to feel better. Sounds counterintuitive, I know. But, consider your past conversations with others during a time when you were distressed. On their end, they want to make you feel better, so they try to solve your problem, get you to consider the positives, and appeal to your better self. You? You’re not having any of it. You want them to understand and validate your experience, even if it’s a little ridiculous. You don’t want to hear, “Hey, people have it worse than you. There are people starving,” even though you know it’s true. You want someone to recognize that you’re struggling and that that, in itself, warrants attention.
What if talking to someone actually backfires, and you’re left feeling worse than before? What can you do if you’re not getting the reassurance you’re looking for?
This is where you come in. Positive interrogation. You are your own compassionate, best friend. Having a good support system is important, but when you’re all you’ve got, ask these questions to arrive at a healthier head space.
What are you looking forward to this week? This doesn’t need to be some big event like a party or a sky-diving experience. It could be something simple like going to the farmer’s market and buying fresh berries or meeting a friend for brunch. Happiness is not about the extravagant, Facebook-worthy events. I’d argue that it’s a lot more discrete.
What are three things you’re grateful for? Studies have shown that people who express gratitude are, in general, happier folk. While some might say the opposite of gratitude is thanklessness, I say it’s comparison. When you compare your life or self to others who have it better than you, there’s no way you’re going to feel good about where you are now. Expressing gratitude gives you the opportunity to fully embrace your experience and to accept that it’s enough.
What are you struggling with right now? What is one small action you can take to address the hardship? You might think you’re struggling with all that’s on your plate, but at the heart of it? You never feel like you’re doing enough. Get honest with yourself, and dig deep. When you know what you’re actually struggling with, you can take concrete steps to move forward.
What progress have you made over the past six months? What small victories can you be proud of? Sure, you might have ambitious goals to achieve, but when you let them overshadow the progress that’s already been made, you do yourself a disservice. Small changes lead to transformation. Be proud of what you’ve done so far!
Who can you connect with today? One of the best ways to lift your spirits is to make a connection with someone. So send a short email or a text message, make a phone call, or schedule an impromptu Skype date. When you feel like isolating, that means you should reach out!
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