🌙🕌

[parkchanwoohoo]

if u get second job i'll you

YOU'LL ME??

[kaiasky]

its terrible for any number of reasons, but i think if we invent immortality there should be an extreme sport called civilizational speedrunning where teams of 20 go into the wilderness somewhere and try and be the fastest build the first internal combustion engine. i bet you could get it down to like 3 years tops

[biggestzam]

The real trick is to eat seed heavy food before the speedrun starts so your first poops are halfway to agriculture already

[kaiasky]

i want you on my team holy shit

[itsalwaysdark]

you have to be careful reading too many things that are good/smart/well-written bc then you encounter something that isnt and you get confused like ? why didnt they just make this good ? were they stupid

[pukicho]

Still rocking an NFT icon in this day and age is like seeing a confederate flag on the back of someone’s truck. You lost 100 years ago, fucker, it’s over.

[yorgen-sh]

[sayhelloanimalfriends]

this is the first time in my life i thought oh i hope there’s music

[kuragin]

this is the most underrated part of rockin’ and rollin’ yoda

[bunjywunjy]

Luke’s face is what makes this.

[polari]

just got a call from the american psychiatric association. you old dogs, i said, picking up on the first ring. how many times i gotta tell you to lose this number. i don’t want you coming around here anymore. “listen, toots, we’ve been doing some thinking,” they says, and i says, guess there’s a first time for everything. “you’re a real funny dame, sugardoll. reviewing criticism, we’ve determined that the biggest issue with our previous diagnostic and statistic manuals of mental disorders is the anonymity of it all. we’ve been circling around a vague figure of the mentally well without defining the traits of a mentally well person. there’s no personality. what we need is a cute broad with a couple opinions to model the psychological norm.” so i’m saying back up and give it to me straight: i’m the new standard of sanity? can i get that in writing? and they say, “as the american psychiatric association we hereby state that you are the baseline and any deviations from your personality are deviations from the very concept of sanity, at least in the united states psychiatric system.” they’re making it public tomorrow. it’s a nice gig, if you really want to know. never thought they’d let a woman do it.

[amygdalae]

When I die I wanna be resurrected as the crab in the bucket of crabs that pulls the other crabs back into the bucket. And I'll love doing it

[evilscientist3]

if i could die i would wanna be resurrected as a crab strong enough to pull your crabsona out of the bucket. and then where would you be

[amygdalae]

...

[netscapeshawty]

baseball different from how i remember it

[qualitytimeswithqualitylads]

glad they added new maps to baseball

[cryptotheism]

And the wisest monk said "young one, you reject the unenlightened ways of Hazbin Hotel, but not three years ago, I recall you posting twink Wheatley in great enthusiasm. You must not hate what you discard on the path to enlightenment. All of our old selves are within us, and we must imagine them lezzing out."

[cryptotheism]

"Funny" said the wisest monk "That cringe is whatever your gay ass was super into like three years ago."

"But master!" Said the young monk, "Did you not also post One Piece AMVs three years ago?"

"Luffy is badass." Said the master, "He has never been cringe."

[sector-v]

Extremely irksome as an autistic person to ask a clarifying question and be told you’re “splitting hairs” when you genuinely just don’t understand because there isn’t enough information. Like, buddy. This is me at my most basic level of “what do you mean by that.” You wanna see me split hairs? If you really saw how thin I could slice a hair you’d hurl

[sector-v]

I will split a hair into smaller halves every hour my demands of mutual participation in communication are not met

[theconcealedweapon]

[iamnotlanuk]

New one in the saga of Tony Hawk trying to live life as Tony Hawk

[raptorific]

[wifegideonnav]

“bits to use in everyday conversations”

[dogwise]

PRACTICE URGE SURFING

[dogwise]

[teumessianandlaelaps]

Huh, didn't know there was a term for it. This explains why I haven't been drinking as much lately.

[ralfmaximus]

Younger folk are getting really good at spotting AI slop, to the consternation of marketing execs.

Found on Mastodon.

[sunderwight]

From what I remember of back when Millennials were outpacing Boomers at internet and tech stuff in general, this is going to cause a lot of issues for companies angling to use slop in marketing because the younger set are always going to be better at spotting it than the older, but the older are going to be the ones approving marketing campaigns and ads and etc. Meaning, the older people will not ever be able to tell what might actually convince the younger.

The good news is that if it persists and Gen Z and Gen Alpha continue to scoff at the generated stuff, then marketing departments aiming at them will just have to give up on using it because they won't be able to figure out how to fool their targets with it.

The bad news is that this won't apply to scams and campaigns aimed at older people, so once again we're going to have a situation where the kids will be the ones lunging across the coffee table to stop Mom from giving her financial info to that really obvious fake scam mom oh my god do NOT buy that it isn't even a real thing.

Anyway godspeed to the younger generations.