Boss Battles

Imagine Fighting All of Them

[malibuklaus]

[gammaface]

[garaks-padded-cell]

I have an absolutely massive russian guy as my driving instructor rn

Whenever i get into his car i have to spend an embarrassing 3 minutes adjusting everything back into clown car proportions so i can fit. Anyways a couple lessons ago he had me do the same route over and over to practice and there was a dead seagull in the middle of the road at one point and to keep correct positioning on the road i was required to drive over its carcass like 19 times just goring this seagull until the 20th lap when my instructor looked at the seagull that now more resembled tomato soup than a bird and said "this time. you spare seagull" and so i did and then he said "incorrect positioning on road"

[garaks-padded-cell]

Artists rendition

[garaks-padded-cell]

I had my last lesson with this guy a second ago and when we passed a dog on the path he said, apropos of nothing, "dog die? I feel nothing."

[innerchildabortionclinic]

getting kicked off love island for just swimming in the pool and not talking to anyone

[kropotkindersurprise]

my friend competed in a Survivor knock-off reality tv contest on a tropical island, and he did exactly this. While everyone was scheming and forming cliques and voting strategically to get rid of the others, he just floated in the sea for weeks.

Weeks into the show they had to like, reintroduce him in the editing because he had just been absent from the show till then; "remember this guy? he's also still here". They started with 60 people or something, and he made it to the final 6, where he lost a balancing game.

It was very funny to watch the crappy show just to see my friend, because most episodes he just didnt feature at all. He didn't stress about winning the big prize or anything, he just treated it as a vacation where he got to chill out for two months and get paid for it. A real icon.

[ryan-sometimes]

Working an office job will truly make you have the wildest enemies, bc why is my nemesis rn a woman I’ve never met and who exclusively haunts me by sending diabolical emails, and also a specific guy who left my company before I even worked here and made the system so fuckass that it ruined procedures for like a year

[ryan-sometimes]

Yesterday my nemesis (woman I’ve never met and whose face I’ve never seen) sent my office an email so rude, basically saying we had fucked up every project she ever ordered from us, one of the worst emails I’ve ever read in my life.

And it pissed me off so badly that I spent the ENTIRE WORK DAY today compiling evidence from every project my team has ever done for her, pulling past emails she’d sent us, putting together an entire case proving that she had been the problem all along. That she got projects mixed up, that she’d made requests that were nonsensical, literally everything you could possibly imagine. Screenshots of emails, reports we’d submitted, EVERYTHING.

This woman in particular has been terrorizing my team for years, her name is almost a slur in my office, I had simply had ENOUGH of her.

I put all of this evidence together and sent it to all of my bosses at 4:30pm. Then I took a long break to eat a sweet treat and drink some tea.

After my break, my bosses all called in an emergency meeting with me and they said they read my report and fucking loved it. And I sat on a teams call with my boss’ boss as she wrote my nemesis the scathing email I had always fantasized about sending, using the evidence I’d compiled, and hit send.

It was the most satisfying workday I’ve had since I got hired.

[winnie-wine]

[wildgifthorses]

For anyone who needs to hear it

[my-dailydreams]

[enki2]

[cornedbeefhashtags]

Imagine being on the Teams team and getting a team Teams call that your team needs to work on Teams onsite because working on Teams on Teams isn’t a good way to work in teams

[bisexualmack]

Adin Ross Claims Megan Thee Stallion’s Attorneys Used a Mariachi Band to Serve Him Legal Papers

Adin Ross claims Megan Thee Stallion's attorneys had a mariachi band playing outside of his driveway to serve him legal papers.

HELP THIS IS SO ICONIC

[ozempicofficial]

[were--ralph]

i need you to know i think about this video like every week

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

I love telling the story about winning a sumo wrestling contest in college. It was even less plausible than it sounds. Every time I mention it people give me this look like they’re trying to determine if there used to be a lot more of me and then I got really sick. It was just for the martial arts class I was in, so only about forty people, but all but maybe five of us were tall cis dudes. The goal was to make the other person be the first to step outside the ring. I was scrappy enough but I knew I stood no chance.

I thought it would be funny to do a Bugs Bunny thing so at the beginning of my first turn I puffed out my chest and gave my opponent a tough look and acted like I was ready to rumble. He ran at me and at the last moment I just… turned to the side. And he kept going, right out of the ring.

Of course everyone thought it was very funny that this actually worked, we laughed, and I prepared to get walloped in the next round.

But then it worked again.

And again.

I thought for sure everyone who lost to me was doing it for the bit, but then I realized that some of them were genuinely angry and arguing with the instructor, insisting that what I was doing was cheating. Maybe it was, but he didn’t seem to care, so I kept doing it. And I kept winning.

I don’t remember how many guys I vanquished through my repetitive strategy of “smash the dodge button” but I made very little physical contact with any of them and only had to actually wrestle the last guy. I only managed to best him by like snaking around his torso like a python while we grappled until his foot slipped and he stumbled out of the ring. And then I won. And everyone fucking hated me because there was absolutely no reason that should have worked more than once.

[datadegroove-deactivated2026042]

first pregnant woman to climb mt everest has the baby and it comes out as a frost troll from skyrim

[toskarin]

why dont we just blame the beasts instead

that seems easy and convenient

[hungwy]

I've been melting dogs down to make this thing called dog metal

[hungwy]

[angelicguy]

Want one of your fishmongers to return? Just to go your MyMonger tab, click on "banished" in the dropdown menu, and select the gear icon to manage your shunned mongers.