on life's roadtrip through the stars @botzachary - Tumblr Blog

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botzachary

cassettefuturism

victusinveritas

lycanthology

i think one of the most important things you learn about making connections with others is that a significant portion of the time people just do not know theyre doing what theyre doing

lycanthology

sometimes someone is acting selfish because they just didnt think you had any interest in what theyre hogging. sometimes you dont get invited to the movies because your friend could have sworn that you said no. sometimes you think someone is mad at you because theyre bad at hiding how little sleep they got. we are all like little worlds that briefly crash into one another from time to time and we just arent physically capable of seeing the whole picture at once in those moments. and learning that really changed everything!

foxofninetales

In my head, I call this "vase of flowers" thinking.

See, when I started driving, I would get irritated by people who drove Soooo Slowly... like, the ones who slow down to 10 MPH to take a turn kind of slow. And then one day I was taking a vase of flowers to an event, and even though I'd strapped it in carefully you can bet I was taking the turns extra carefully to keep it from tipping over, slowing way down, and... oh.

And, like, there are definitely unpleasant people in the world. There are definitely people who are toxic, or just don't care about other people, or have a pattern of hurtful behavior. But there are a lot of people who are just trying to deliver a vase of flowers.

villiago-deactivated20141112

5 minute fanart

snice.

People underestimate how much it fucks you up to be subtly excluded as a kid. I would try to talk to my classmates and be met with disinterest or annoyance. The one friend I had, who I clung to and nodded along to his every word, had other friends he liked just as much or more. And his other friends didn’t care for me at all.

I look back at pictures from the time and see how separated I was from them. I remember knowing I was different. I remember posing questions about the world to the girls playing next to me and realizing that they had never asked the same ones to themselves. That the ways we thought couldn’t be more different.

I kept myself amused with my own fanatical stories and musings in my head. I would wander the playground on a circular path, imagining a friend and being sorely disappointed when it didn’t feel as real as I’d hoped.

There was a bubble separating me from everyone else, thin, and nearly invisible, but with a pearly sheen you could catch under the right conditions. I knew it was there, they knew it was there, and it changed me

displayheartcode

zvaigzdelasas

etherealspacejelly

me when the disability disables me: oh what the fuck? this sucks. what the hell man!

cyberxbattalion

mxwhore

i love the -with mama trend but sometimes i get sad because that is clearly papa and he aint getting any credit raising those darn kids...

mxwhore

happy fathers day! me pointing out that sometimes, in nature, males do the most of childrearing really pissed off the terfs like. Somehow hyping up good dads is sucking the balls of the patriarchy?

oceanasky

Let's huddle in the sand with Papa (Western Snowy Plover males tend to the chicks before they fledge)

Let's go for a ride with Papa (Emperor Tamarin males also do most of the childcare, passing them over to mama when it's time to nurse)

Let's strut with Papa (Male Cassowaries incubate and care for the chicks while mama goes off to find a new mate)

Let's be born from Papa (Male seahorses and other pipefish are the ones that give birth)

Let's hop around with Papa (Male midwife toads carry the fertilized eggs around for up to 6 weeks)

Let's stay warm with Papa (Male Emperor Penguins take care of their chick for months while Mama goes to get food)

beardedmrbean

zonky420

gave her a ciggy :3

newyorkkiss

girl on club dancefloor has her feet cooled by a friend pouring smirnoff ice over them (2000)

2000three

Mary Magdalene washing Christ's feet

cazort

I love how every time I log on, this site attains new levels of heresy. I can't wait to see what is next.

sizhens-deactivated20250415

idk i dont mean this with as much derision as might bleed out but it is exceedingly clear that some of you were never considered retard-faggots as a child and therefore never subject to the subsequent torments Pure Children would subject Retard-Faggot Children to.

[* the use of these slurs is not reclamatory but is also not pejorative. the use of these slurs is academic, technical, and descriptive.]

sizhens-deactivated20250415

like i was a social outcast since the moment i could speak. like this was my entire life and it literally never changed. i continue to be a social outcast for the same exact reasons + several more (physically disabled now etc) and like. idk i feel like it is relevant and on some level, valuable, to my analysis that i understand this experience. like i used to be physically beaten by other children regularly for the crime of being Incorrectly Built. Transgressively Autistic and Fruity. like forreal actually Fruity in a way where people would call you slurs in elementary school. like no offense to people who experienced the profound violence of the deep closet but like. my closet wasn't even made of glass it was like I was pretending i was in the closet as a mime but every single person in the world could Smell the faggot coming off me a mile away and would very succinctly inform me of this through violence. and the physical violence wasn't even the worst part.

idk where im going with this. i guess it's just "I respect many of you but it is clear that you and i had very different experiences of Retard-Faggotry as a child." and further it is clear that this website continues to participate in veiled attempts at reenacting the childhood game of "smear the queer / retard"

sizhens-deactivated20250415

i say "this website" which is silly. of course it's not just "this website" it's like society writ large. i guess just as a product of my particular form of perpetual social-outcast-ness i continue to primarily interface with actual interactions with strangers through social media. since for the most part i am physically disabled and psychologically "fucked" enough that i spend most of my time indoors atp.

sizhens-deactivated20250415

also on that note like. i know that this is the Quirky Gay Website and so we understandably focus on stuff about being gay/trans/etc but like. i say this As a Gay Trans. i do not think people sufficiently understand or contend with the extent to which autistic people are constantly and consistently subject to immense violence both interpersonal and structural. like frankly I've experienced far more of both by merit of being autistic than for being a transgender woman or. even for being racialized. like i've nearly gotten fired from jobs for doing them autistically. if you apply for housing autistically you're likely to get rejected. if you do something autistically at the doctor's you're likely to get disregarded and infantilized and dismissed. and these are just like the somewhat trivial, normative, veiled ways autistic people Who Can Mostly "Pass" As Allistic are subject to violence.

obviously this is like a single possibly questionable source and on wikipedia of all places but just for a sense of rough scale i would like to offer this statistic.

that is not a coincidence and that is not because autistic people "Cannot Contribute To Society" or whatever. it is an expression of structural violence which exists in service of the biopolitical regime of imperial capital and specifically to the benefit of allistic people.

and i know we Talk about autism nowadays as this kind of quirky trait, and the implication is that this is a form of Difference that Society Has Come To Accept. but that's just not true. autistic people continue to be the subjects of immense violence. if anything, it's just that the violence has gotten subtler, more insidious, in how it identifies its victims. "the vibes were off." "idk she was just kind of odd." "she was really awkward and kind of uncomfy." "not very professional." "abrasive and grating." the knife has just found a better way of hiding under the folds of the robes.

autistic people continue to be some of the most vulnerable people in society but especially under the system of imperial capital, where human autonomy is directly linked to potential labor output under a very particular paradigm. and when combined with the fact that the average autistic person is undoubtedly profoundly traumatized by how they are treated for being autistic, this confers a significantly higher rate of "mental illness" among autistic people which further forces us onto the outskirts of society where we are more and more vulnerable to exploitation and violence.

and like, obviously this should not have to be true to justify the cessation of violence against autistic people. but we literally keep the world afloat. do you know how many industries would shut down immediately, just completely collapse, without the specific labor of the specific skillsets of autistic people? and in particular, how much physical infrastructure would simply cease functioning? every workplace that is held up by "strangely, mysteriously" and incredibly disciplined and rigorous documentation, every computer infrastructural project upheld by One Guy's lifelong commitment to doing this critical project completely thanklessly, every workplace which is carried by That One Woman who seems to understand how everything works even though nobody else does. How many of those people are simply autistic people who have to hide this fact because we are targeted for violence for being this way? And if those are the success stories, the ones who managed to slip under the radar because they weren't Visibly Autistic Enough to get caught, how many more of us could be rotting in living circumstances where we are essentially kept prisoner by "caretakers"?

[source]

idk. i care very deeply about this. and it bothers me how frequently it seems other people do not.

sizhens-deactivated20250415

im kind of expecting this post to not get a lot of traction and im trying to determine if that'll be primarily because allistic people will be made profoundly uncomfortable by it or because autistic people are going to be understandably afraid of sharing it. i don't mean this as like a reblog bait comment i just genuinely think that this is like a borderline mechanistic phenomenon atp.

sizhens-deactivated20250415

#yeah i experienced a lot of social isolation as a kid + it has continued into adulthood#but ive not been subjected to genuine violence and for that i am incredibly lucky#i genuinely wish everyone had closer to my experience bc while yes it was and is painful#it is nowhere near as bad as the institutional violence some of my fellow autistic queers have experienced#and bc of that i acknowledge that i am incredibly lucky and privileged

I am not trying to single out this person but i've received a number of responses to this post already (which is encouraging in the sense that it is seemingly proving my concerns that this post would gain no traction to be incorrect) but like. i want to be explicit about this. i am so terribly sorry you went through this. and while i was like, subject to physical and psychological torment many times in my life, it was the isolation and loneliness that left some of the worst lasting scars on my person, both in the physical and emotional sense.

isolation and loneliness are just as functional and violent forms of social punishment enacted against autistic people to break us down and Other us. humans are a social species. to be completely isolated and alone is a terrible violence to have done to a human being that is a fracturing and traumatic experience. there is a reason that for many cultures and eras, exile is considered a serious enough punitive measure to be considered almost equal to death. in some cultures it is considered worse. solitary confinement is a form of imprisonment which is considered by many to be explicitly a form of torture. to tear a human being out of their community, or, far worse, to force a human to grow up and live their whole life completely separate and distinct from the rest of society -- that is a horrifying thing to do to a person. it is a thing that breaks people.

i appreciate the desire to acknowledge the perceived experience of privilege which comes with not having been subject to physical violence, and on some level i commend the underlying impulse to be compassionate and acknowledge when others experiences might be more difficult than yours. but the reality is that you did not deserve to go through that any more than I deserved to be hit or grabbed or whatever for being autistic. you did not deserve to be forced to be by yourself. and that this was itself a form of grievous violence struck against you by a society that was cruel to you. and the fact that you were not saved from this violence by a caring and compassionate community is itself a collective failing on the behalf of the people around you. and indeed, these things are not really separable, but simply different expressions of the same punitive cruelty that we have both been subject to. and I'm sorry. you deserved better than that.

beardedmrbean

terraswallows

For all the MTG fans, if you know, then you know.

dimestoretajic

... OH

lachlanthesane

I will give the short version of this explanation, other people can come up with a fuller version if they like.

It's the finals of a high-stakes Magic the Gathering tournament. Player A has won Round 1 by using the card in the meme, "Borborygmos Enraged". Specifically, they used the last line of the card, "Discard a land card: Borborygmos Enraged deals 3 damage to target creature or player", by discarding a whole bunch of land cards and dealing a whole bunch of damage to Player B.

After the first round of a Magic tournament game, each player has the opportunity to swap cards between their main deck and their side deck. Most players use their main deck for a general-purpose game, and then fill their side deck with things that specifically counteract whatever their opponent is doing.

At this particular tournament, Player B had a card in their side deck called "Pithing Needle". To simplify the text of Pithing Needle, it basically says "When you play Pithing Needle, name any card. Abilities of the named card can't be activated." Player B swaps several copies of Pithing Needle into their main deck.

In Round 2 of the tournament, Player B plays Pithing Needle early in the game, and names "Borborygmos". What he wants to happen is that, if Player A plays Borborygmos Enraged, the Pithing Needle will prevent Player A from activating the ability to discard a whole bunch of land cards and deal a whole bunch of damage to Player B.

Player A, being a sneaky bastard, notices that Player B didn't say "Borborygmos Enraged" when he played Pithing Needle. He said "Borborygmos". Player A also remembers that "Borborygmos Enraged" (originally released in 2013) is the second card that features the character Borborygmos, and that there was a card released in 2006 that was simply called "Borborygmos".

Player A therefore goes ahead with his game plan completely unaffected by the Pithing Needle. He plays Borborygmos Enraged, discards a bunch of land cards, and deals a whole bunch of damage to Player B.

Player B, of course, objects to this, saying that the Pithing Needle prevents the damage. Player A points out that the Pithing Needle is not preventing him from activating the abilities of "Borborygmos Enraged" from 2013, it is preventing him from activating the abilities of "Borborygmos" from 2006.

Both players are fully aware that Player B was talking about "Borborygmos Enraged" when he played the Pithing Needle, but because Player B never said the word "Enraged", the tournament judge rules in Player A's favour. The Pithing Needle is ignored, the damage from Borborygmos Enraged goes through, and Player A wins the tournament.

Everyone hates this and Wizards of the Coast implement an official "close enough is good enough" policy for any "name a card" card in tournaments.

mollyjames

Cleaning gets easier when you remember it's a thing you're doing to make your life less miserable, and not a thing you're doing as punishment

mollyjames

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on life's roadtrip through the stars