sideblog

bc my main was turning into a bpd blog bpd/hpd + a bunch of other junk

[tremendousandsonorouswords]

Louise Bourgeois, Untitled, no. 10 of 12, from the illustrated book The Trauma of Abandonment, 2001

[icedcoffeebee]

loved one: sorry, i can’t hang out! i have plans with other people 

my hellbrain’s instincts: wow you love them more tha- 

me, ignoring her and working on being a better person: that’s okay! i hope you have fun! can we hang out some other time?

[howilearnedtocope]

I love this bc it’s a little snapshot of what the intermediate stage of recovery/treatment/growth can look like.

It might not be what you expect. I think people want to stop having those thoughts immediately, and if they can’t they feel that they’ve failed. But that’s not true! Challenging those old thought patterns is exactly what recovery looks like

[amarakaran]

[overwhelmsion]

I’m tearing up rn because I literally have been erasing my bad memories most of my life and what she describes in these tweets is exactly what’s been happening to me in this relationship. This is the closest to a logical explanation I’ve ever seen. I thought my loss of memory was a good thing because it is a way of shielding myself from the pain and being able to move forward with positivity but now I know exactly how I have been letting people abuse me and my good faith all my life. Fuck.

[boingoalive1988]

ive felt better ever since i stopped revelling in self depreciating or “depression memes for sad teens” humor its an okay coping mechanism and all but you really honestly gotta get out of it at some point and once you do youll see how degrading and self recovery impeding it is

[boingoalive1988]

like reblog a positive post… fight the urge to caption or tag it as “cant relate”… its the little things

[thatgalpal]

[mrkanman]

someone: *compliments me*

my hideous brain goblin: no im n–

me, beating the goblin with a stick: no!!! its nice having my positive traits acknowledged!! responding to affirmation by denying it doesn’t make anybody feel good! the goodness in me isn’t always visible to myself, and i won’t put myself down when people see it! i deserve compliments!

[mrkanman]

hideous brain goblin, spitting blood: they’re lying to you to make you feel bet–

me, loading my shotgun: I’ll Feel Better And That’s What Matters, Shitlord. Making Those Assumptions And Festering On Them Will Only Hurt Me And The People Who Genuinely Do Mean Their Compliments. If I Assume The Worst In Praise, I Won’t See The Best In Myself.

[mrkanman]

And one more thing, in genuine. If your trauma or your experiences with people who HAVE used or manipulated you made you afraid to accept compliments, it’s really not your fault.

You are not a bad person if you find yourself unable to accept compliments because you’re afraid of being hurt again. just don’t forget to see the good in you, okay? you are NEVER worthless. 

If you read this post and think “but i can’t feel this way”, that’s okay. i still hope for your best. but i hope you can pass a  compliment along, and help others feel less afraid.

and if anybody compliments you and then proceeds to mock you for accepting it? Eat them.

[embracingwild]

The middle of recovery is awful. It does not feel good. There are moments where it will be clear why you are doing this, ones that will take your breath away. But a majority of the time you will question everything, your thoughts will be racing so much that you will feel like you can’t breathe. You will spend countless days wondering why things can’t be quiet, wondering why you are bothering to work so hard when not fighting would be effortless. Recovery does not feel good. If you are looking around you and are ashamed because you are not in love with this process, please, listen to me. Take a deep breath- It’s okay. It’s okay to hate it. It’s okay to say it sucks. It’s okay to want to give up, to struggle immensely, to be angry, to be uncomfortable (you should be!). and it’s okay to not understand why your smile still feels empty when your stomach is full again. Recovery does not feel good. For goodness sake, I hate it!!! Do not mistake my positivity for perfection. I am not walking through this fire gracefully. I burn and fall and become ashes. And every morning I rise and face the flames over and over again.

So please, do not beat yourself up if you are feeling like a failure for not being happy and perfect. Healing is not linear. And you are still brave.

[avitales]

[spoonie-living]

The Icarus Project and Freedom Center's 52-page illustrated guide gathers the best information we've come across and the most valuable lessons we've learned

It’s a pretty common problem in the mental illness world to be put on a bunch of drugs and then find yourself disempowered to stop using them. Doctors might advice against it and refuse to give you safe cessation info, or you just might not have someone with the necessary qualifications to guide you through the process.

If you’re in this boat, or if you just want to take an active role in your drug regimen, this little guide is for you! Click through for a free download.

Learn more about the Icarus Project here, and check out the Freedom Center here. Both look like fantastic resources for folks with mental illnesses, particularly the more stigmatized ones.

[theweirdwideweb]

Mental Illness Memes (Part Two)

(Parts: One, Three, Four)

[furiousgoldfish]

abuse is addictive due to brain’s hormonal response to extreme stimuli and it’s still not the victim’s fault if they crave abuse or feel restless and anxious without it, it does not mean they wanted it or deserved it, they’ve been hurt so much their brain is damaged by it, nobody on this planet consents to brain damage or wants to cope with feeling absolutely dreadful all the time and craving pain so much while feeling guilty and ashamed for feeling it, it takes ages to stabilize and have your brain hormones regulated properly again but it can and will happen so just keep hanging in there, you are healing all the time no matter what you do

[pdmori]

[bpdwhatever]

i don't usually make personal posts here anymore but god fucking damn i really wish my brain would just like. shut the fuck up with the visceral jealousy n need to compete bc i don't even feel like acting on that anymore but fuuuuuck do i want some validation rn

[stckwll]

[parentless-suggestions]

Lmao that moment when you grow up thinking you had a normal childhood with minor child neglect. Only to realize years later that you went through so much emotional abuse. To the point where it fucked you over so bad that you now have several mental illnesses and struggle at maintaining close friendships and relationships. Thanks mom.

[offensivememes4u]

Everyday

[bold]

i understand when ur 13 and u just realized u have a mental illness and ur so relieved to know there are other ppl going thru the same thing as u, its easy to slip into the idea that your newly labeled thoughts and behaviors are normal and okay.

they are not. suicidal thoughts arent normal. violent impulses arent normal. delusions and hallucinations arent normal.

now that you have a name for this behavior you need to seek help. dont let tumblr trick you into thinking unhealthy coping mechanisms are the only ways to deal with your mental illness. dont let it fester, dont let it worsen. seek as much help as you can. actively try to better yourself.