It's not rude! I don't mind explaining.
Using myself as an example, I have a condition called polymorphous light eruption which is essentially an allergy to UV light that causes extremely painful and itchy rashes even with just a short 10 minute exposure which occasionally are bad enough I have to go to the ER, as well as Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia syndrome which makes me extremely susceptible to heat, and spending too much time at high temps and/or in the sun can cause vomiting and even fainting. I also live in Arizona, where the UV index is basically never at a reasonable level and is consistently over 90F for 2/3rds of the year.
So, if I was shopping by myself, either with my wheelchair or without, I would need to ensure I spend as little time in the sun and heat as possible, as every extra minute is one step closer to me having a medical emergency. And it would be worse if I was in my wheelchair, I've used carts with it before but it's really difficult and that + the sun and heat means I would never be able to take it back myself. I also have pretty bad chronic pain that severely limits how many steps and spoons I get in a day. Some days I have plenty and I can run the cart back myself, but some days just that extra bit of walking could be agony or push me over my energy envelope and leave me bedridden for several days. If I only have enough energy or reserved painless step to feed myself OR take the cart back...I'm feeding myself, you know?
I do know some people use the cart as a mobility aid, before I got a wheelchair that's something I did a lot, but if you don't park near a cart return that does mean, unless you have your own aid, you have to walk back to your car unsupported. So while it works for some, for a lot of us that's still gonna make it hard to reliably take the cart back.
Those are just my issues tho. A D/deaf or HoH or even blind/low vision person probably doesn't want to spend too much time in a parking lot where they can't hear and/or see other cars driving past, same for wheelchair users as most cars legit cannot see us until it's too late. Someone with sensory issues could find a parking lot and grocery store extremely overwhelming, and most of us who have those issues are cognizant of avoiding a public breakdown because of the violence it typically invites down upon us. Someone with IBS or asthma or other medical conditions that can pop up suddenly and without warning might want to take the cart back but can't bcs within a few minues they went from fine to not fine and now need to go home or get medical help. Once pushing a cart on a snowy day across a lot gave me a near deadly asthma attack, and I know a lot of people who have fallen in icy or snowy lots who permanently worsened their health due to broken bones or other similar injuries. Falling would be a medical emergency for me.
And as much as it might seem selfish or over dramatic, at the end of the day I think a disabled person is well within their rights to prioritize getting what they need and getting home safely over being courteous by returning the cart. Also, most disabled people who can't take carts back know how it can be seen as rude or kinda dangerous for others, and thus try to put them somewhere out of the way. We don't tend to be the ones putting them where cars need to drive, that tends to be abled people who just don't give a shit and those folks def suck.
And honestly the solution to this isn't really shame or even just shrugging and giving up! Stores can hire more cart collectors and build solar panel shaders all over the lot because then there'd be less time with carts in the way and help reduce the use of fossil fuels, but also because that way a disabled person could easily request help getting their cart back so it's never in the way at all OR won't be at as high a risk of medical issues due to sun and heat exposure or BOTH. But they don't. It's an example of a business providing the bare minimum and letting individuals bear the responsibility of accessibility rather than themselves, the reason this sucks and who had the power to change things for the better.
It also doesn't just apply to disabilities tho. A parent with a small child doesn't want them in the sun and heat or rain or cold for too long or potentially running into traffic, but leaving them in the car isn't better bcs it takes a while for the heat/AC to work and also isn't exactly safe, so I wouldn't fault that parent for deciding to err on the side of caution and not take their cart back. The solutions I mentioned could help them too, and even help keep the cart collectors safer in extreme weather!
But yeah all that to say no worries at all, these are blind spots for a LOT of people. I myself used to be a huge "if you don't take the cart back you're scum and there's no excuse" type person when I was younger and not disabled like I am now, but when I saw other disabled people gentely explaining that disabled people have reasons they can't always follow societal etiquette standards and I was like "oh...oh that makes sense actually fuck" and shifted my view, and becoming disabled drove it home. It's always good to seek info and broaden your understanding of the world, we all miss a lot more than we think.
Those are all the main examples I can think of rn tho, and I hope it was helpful! If anyone has anything to add feel free!
(Edit: I wanted to clarify "out of the way" does not mean in a disabled spot or accessibility lane, I don't fault disabled people too much for this, but when abled people pile carts up in those areas it makes the parking lot even less safe. But even then, the solution is making returning a cart as easy and safe as possible, not yell at those people who don't when that won't really make them stop. Yell at the grocery store!!)
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