When You Can't Sleep At Night

Eat shit and bark at the moon, while you're at it, go fix me a turkey pot pie. Remember thoughts are free.

[aidashakur]

what part of “do not spend money” do i not understand

[speedlimit15]

why didn’t gandalf just carry the ring to mordor himself with these tongs

[speedlimit15]

like i’m picturing him being really careful and looking at it and carrying it exactly like this while walking or riding through the woods and across rivers and up mountains and through valleys and he doesn’t drop it even once except at the very end where he tidily drops it into the volcano. frodo sam and the crew and even gollum wholly undisturbed. sauron can’t find him bc of the meditative aura surrounding him which is generated by his immense focus on not dropping it

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

World's most tense egg and spoon race

[green-great-dragon]

this somehow became the funniest thing on earth in my head and I had to draw it so

[sugaryewscythe]

me completely by myself in my room: alright everybody just calm down

[sillyguyhotline]

u follow a tag and tumblr proceeds to show you either the worst fucking posts from the tag or the same genuinely good post that doesn’t go away even if you interact with it so you start to hate it

[1o9]

[evilscientist3]

They’re in a band together

[cipheramnesia]

Toots, Tinkles, and the Almighty Funk Engine

[ninjapancake314]

Ladies and gentlemen! Give it up for Toots, Tinkles, and the Almighty FUNK ENGINE!!

[cipheramnesia]

This is a lot to process, I just woke up.

[ndiecity-deactivated20241101]

they banned the word twunk. this is officially worse than 9/11

[the-haiku-bot]

they banned the word twunk.

this is officially worse

than 9/11

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[softgrlfriend]

that’s enough emotions for a whole year. ciao

[insertchaoticenbyname]

The earlier in the year you reblog this the better it gets

[everythingfox]

I- what?

[whoreapologist]

i love abortion and i love divorce

[red-twist]

i pop some pills and i ride my horse

[tuckerrule]

i log onto tumblr and i start discourse

[faggybutch161]

eyyyy macarena

[fangcore]

this has the strongest 2014 tumblr vibe i’ve seen in a while, can’t believe this post is 5 days old

[adorablecake]

THIS POST IS FIVE DAYS OLD???? I THOUGHT IT WAS AT LEAST 2 YEARS OLD!!!!!!!

[whoreapologist]

happy 9 day anniversary to this post 💖

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[happifying-things]

here’s your damn fish

[ask-swagger-dagger-trolls]

(Y E E T)

[pietriarchy]

[asexualgeorgecostanza-deactivat]

[joey-wheeler-official]

[piss-bong]

[canopycapers-deactivated2022111]

[schmendrick-lamar-deactivated20]

[journeymanfool]

[dowereallyneedthis]

[favoritefightingfrenchgoth]

[disorderfaking-deactivated20200]

[goofballproximitysurveyor-deact]

[wilburian-deactivated20221116]

great job everyone lets hit the showers

[testosteronetwink]

[skimble-shanks-the-railway-cat]

[blujayonthewing]

[great-tweets]

“Update: The student who wrote the letter has been found and we’re in the process of finding a way to reward her for her actions. Very grateful for what she did”

[shaelit]

I love this mental image of this quietly horrified and righteous 6th grader just being like ma’am you can’t do that

[whycantibeepbadoop]

6th grader:

[phrenotobe]

#the drawing including kids in the bus windows going like :O kills me

[shameshomalo]

[dynastylnoire]

All the kids at the same time “ OOOOOOOOOO”

[dadcrone]

There’s probably a German compound word for that feeling you get at 2am when you’re single in your mid twenties and the creeping doubt that you’ve somehow missed your only chance at love because you didn’t meet someone in college and now it’s too late

[goddamngeckogirl]

The german word you are looking for is ‘Torschusspanik’

[littlekiwi37-archive]

Germans got a word for fucking EVERYTHING.

[agarotado27dejunho]

German is like the dictionary of obscure sorrows

[radglittercollection]

can confirm

[marinebiologyshitposts]

[vernadskova-deactivated20230803]

[i-fear-neither-death-nor-pain]

Do they not have skulls!? Why is it mushy there!?!? @bunjywunjy

[bunjywunjy]

well of course beluga has a skull!! that's just not where it is.

see, you wouldn't necessarily pick up on this, but beluga skulls (and most cetacean skulls in general) are pretty much

flat...

so what's going on up there? well, most of the beluga's head is taken up by soft tissue and a large organ called the melon, which is basically a big ol waterballoon of semiliquid fat!

(boob. it's a head boob.)

this organ is found in every toothed whale and dolphin species on the planet and it's INCREDIBLY important, because the melon is what lets them echolocate!

the actual sound-producing organ is inside their nasal passage of all places, which sits up behind there, but the melon is what's actually used to fine-tune the soundwaves into the laser-accurate pinpoints that dolphins and toothed whales are so famous for.

tldr: without their head boob, belugas and their relatives would be literally flying blind!

[puppetbilly]

does slapping the melon like that hurt it ? like does it affect how it works or anything

[proteus-no]

@weirdgirlwambsgans @vampire-juicebox you guys are in luck bc it does not! Belugas will squish their melons voluntarily against things like rocks and glass. Think of it like when you squish your butt (but at the same time not, bc they have no nerve endings beyond the skin) they even voluntarily let humans play with it!

This is a strong creature, if that hurt or bothered it, you would know

[everythingfox]

“My cat got a cold and the vet recommended a warm compress for his eyes. I think he’s enjoying his spa time.”

(Source)

[naomiknight-17]

For anyone worried, I poked around Reddit and the owner says the kitty is all healed up and fine now

And, knowing that, I can now enjoy how ridiculous he looked during spa time

[everythingfox]

“My cat got a cold and the vet recommended a warm compress for his eyes. I think he’s enjoying his spa time.”

(Source)