brightcoat's tumblog

OR, "Subjective Truth in a Fancy Coat"

[30-minute-memes]

I Hear That’s Good

[neilcicierega]

This isn’t from a new video or anything, i just needed a new facebook picture

[obligatorymorningfart]

the 420 stankmaster chronicles of josuke and okuyasu continue

[mikkeneko]

character concept: the best trick archer in the world, the trick to which is that he’s actually not an archer at all, he’s a speedster and he can’t aim for shit, every time he takes a shot he actually just grabs the arrow, runs over to what he wants to stick, then runs back before anyone can see him move

[mikkeneko]

he’s on a team with Heat Vision Man, who actually has no heat vision and is another speedster, he just glares at people then runs over and punches them and is back before they can see him move

[mikkeneko]

(the entire team is actually just composed of speedsters who all use their speed in different ways, and they all pretend otherwise in front of their teammates)

[thatll-do]

The only speedster on their team is actually a teleporter

[brightcoat]

that’s not super-speed…

he’s using CHAOS CONTROL!

[alephnull47]

jack are you implying that sonic’s main cast is a justice league/avengers type superhero team

[brightcoat]

no i just really like sonic adventure 2: battle

[mikkeneko]

character concept: the best trick archer in the world, the trick to which is that he’s actually not an archer at all, he’s a speedster and he can’t aim for shit, every time he takes a shot he actually just grabs the arrow, runs over to what he wants to stick, then runs back before anyone can see him move

[mikkeneko]

he’s on a team with Heat Vision Man, who actually has no heat vision and is another speedster, he just glares at people then runs over and punches them and is back before they can see him move

[mikkeneko]

(the entire team is actually just composed of speedsters who all use their speed in different ways, and they all pretend otherwise in front of their teammates)

[thatll-do]

The only speedster on their team is actually a teleporter

[brightcoat]

that’s not super-speed...

he’s using CHAOS CONTROL!

[snoopingasusualisee]

[suppermariobroth]

Before the final battle with Bowser in Super Mario Galaxy, Bowser Jr. taunts Mario and flies off on an airship with Princess Peach. The airship then hovers in the background behind Bowser while Mario climbs up the final staircase. Due to the considerable distance from the camera to the airship, low-polygon models for the characters on it are used. Zooming in on Peach reveals that her low-polygon model in this scene is completely motionless and has no eyes. Main Blog | Twitter | Patreon | Store | Source: myself, Super Mario Galaxy in Wii emulator

[banshees-deactivated20180812]

i dont understand half of the words here but god if this isn’t the funniest thing i’ve ever read

[trenchgun]

im pretty sure red and blue weren’t programmed but just sort of… mutated into cartridges

[prettyflyforajeskai]

Red and blue are why QA teams were invented

[biggaybunny]

for fuck’s sake they weren’t badly programmed. They were bleeding edge. It’s so easy to forget that but Red and Blue were literally pushing the limits of what they could fit on the cartridge. They used every trick in the book. In that way, the programming behind them is GENIUS. It’s frankly a lost art, in this era where hardware is insanely cheap and scalable, when you can just keep throwing more resources at the problem. But Red & Blue were when programmers had to get creative. Not currently using a piece of memory? Repurpose it, we can’t just leave it lying around. Only have a couple registers? Juggle them, keep careful track so we can restore them when we needed. Does this data need to be single purpose, or can we also use it for, say, a seed value? And all this WORKED. I guarantee you 99% of children playing this never saw a bug in casual play. MODERN games are buggier by a landslide. Remember when X&Y came out and there was an ENTIRE CITY you couldn’t save in because it’d DELETE YOUR SAVE? Imagine that happening in the days of Red&Blue. It couldn’t have. I can turn on my red cartridge TODAY and have it work. And the bugs that did exist, those edge cases they missed? They produce this behavior because the game REFUSES TO CRASH. Sure, you can make it crash if you try hard enough, but goddamn it’s resilient. It just plugs away with garbage data in memory for as long as possible. Y'all looking down from your 64-bit quad-core smartphones with 128GB SD cards like Red & Blue were programmed by amateurs. What, you also going to bitch that the Wright Brothers didn’t make a jet engine? These are artifacts from pioneers who wrote the goddamn book that others would use as gospel. Sincerely, a pissed off goddamn programmer.

[suppermariobroth]

In Super Mario Galaxy, collecting 9999 Star Bits turns all the green coconuts in the game into watermelons.

[targuzzler-deactivated20180224]

of all the posts ive seen from this blog this is the one im most prepared to dismiss as bullshit

[brightcoat]

it’s true

[tamamita]

Healthy reminder to

[firefightdex]

483 - Dialga

[ryangilleece]

What’s the big idea, workin on labors day

[oppa-homeless-style]

man i had a dream that magic was discovered in the near future

but it was like. shitty unbalanced fantasy magic. like within a few weeks people had wikis and guides up on how to glitch in immortality potions and time spells. people are just tossing homemade black holes around. i looked on the news and saw some speedrunner made it to the edge of the universe

[oppa-homeless-style]

first of all how dare you assume im literate

[lesser-flamingo]

Wheres that tweet about how the fate of humanity is to keep reinventing homestuck

[fleshanimal]

My new favorite thing is realtors adding “NOT HAUNTED” to for sale signs, completely convincing any sane person that the house is definitely haunted.

[mutttooth]

me, a middle-aged white man in the midwest with marriage troubles and two kids that need a fresh start in a new town:

[brightcoat]

you already know what the fuck is going on, mr navidson

[homestarrunner]

Labor Dabor in the highest goldang quality you’ve ever seen it

[skarchomp]

the great paradox of matt groening’s shows always being uncomfortably horny while also having the most unfuckable characters and least sexy art style of all time

[samsonese]

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