𝕳𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖔 𝖜𝖊 𝖆𝖗𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕭𝖗𝖚𝖙𝖆𝖑𝕬𝖇𝖞𝖘𝖘𝕾𝖞𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖒
✧˚ · .𝔄𝔫 𝔢𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔩 𝔟𝔢𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔴𝔥𝔬 𝔧𝔲𝔰𝔱 𝔫𝔢𝔢𝔡𝔢𝔡 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔦𝔯 𝔬𝔴𝔫 𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔩𝔢 𝔡𝔦𝔞𝔯𝔶 𝔰𝔭𝔞𝔠𝔢
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@brutalabysssys
𝕳𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖔 𝖜𝖊 𝖆𝖗𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕭𝖗𝖚𝖙𝖆𝖑𝕬𝖇𝖞𝖘𝖘𝕾𝖞𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖒
✧˚ · .𝔄𝔫 𝔢𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔩 𝔟𝔢𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔴𝔥𝔬 𝔧𝔲𝔰𝔱 𝔫𝔢𝔢𝔡𝔢𝔡 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔦𝔯 𝔬𝔴𝔫 𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔩𝔢 𝔡𝔦𝔞𝔯𝔶 𝔰𝔭𝔞𝔠𝔢
we get more anti-endo by day
wth do you mean by "wanting to be" a system?
we have been trying to survive, we are all desperate
our old host just spent 3 hours losing their shit
panic, anxiety, sleep paralysis, hallucinations, dissociating, passing out
we often have to remind them that we are safe, that the year is 2026, that we are loved and cared for now
dont get me wrong, im grateful for everyone, but it would be dishonest to say we never thought about NOT BEING a system
I DONT GIVE A SINGLE FUCK if you are lonely or what not
keep your obsession out our spaces
its already hard to get access to resources with all the ableism, WE DO NOT NEED your wishful thinking here
BEING ENDO IS NOT REAL
you CANT decide to be a system
being a system was the way our child self managed to survive
its not your roleplay show and tell oc competition
FUCK YOU
Dissociation is like a free drug trip you didn’t ask for and you come out of it like what the fuck did I do that whole time and there’s a 4 half-done art pieces in front of you and two of your friends are mad at you
"oh my daughter is fine"
your SON has a dissociative disorder and can barely remember anything.
it's OK if you don't remember your trauma BTW
that's kinda the whole point of the disorder
it doesn't mean you're "endogenic" or "mixed origin" or anything like that
it is OK if you don't remember!!
"i self diagnosed myself with CDD and the method is valid!"
sure is! some people don't have the resources required to get professional help. identifying an issue by themself to proceed with dealing and managing the symptoms and effects, while not the most credible and reliable, is still valid if done correctly!
"i self diagnosed myself with CDD after listening to others' experience and stories heard, and the method is valid!"
well . . .
"i've been researching CDD for a month, and 2 people said I (definitely) have it! So, self diagnosis is valid because help was provided by people with experiences and also I have done research"
wait no go back-
"i found out about my 20 alters after-"
NO NO GO BACK THAT'S NOT THE POINT I TRIED TO MAKE-
this is why i try to stay away from mentioning i'm self-dxed towards places that, don't get that I've done extensive research way before this
We keep neglecting this blog
But like we don't really have any system related things to say
Because while it does effect our daily life it's not like anything blogable
It's just oh this guy was in front and now idk what's going on and why people are mad at me
Or this guy sat down and drew something so now I have to color it
Like that's boring
“DID needs childhood trauma to have formed”
Yes, but also
“What is traumatic to a child may not seem traumatic to an adult”
A kids brain has no logbook comparing their stress to someone else’s. All it knows is that it’s under severe stress.
developing a system is like making toast. hear me out on this one.
sure, there are multiple ways you can make toast. you can use a toaster, a grill, a pan, an oven, even a flamethrower if you like it REALLY toasted. but you know what all of those methods have in common?
they all require heat.
if you have no heat source, you can't make toast. sure, you can use a sharpie and scribble on bread to make it *look* like toast, but it's still bread. it still isn't toast without the heat.
developing a CDD (aka system/plurality) is the same way. trauma can look vastly different, but it's all still trauma. abuse, neglect, bullying, it does not matter. trauma is required for the formation of a system just like heat is required for toast.
endos can try to look like systems all they want. they can use a whole box of sharpies trying to pretend they're the same as us. but at the end of the day, they're still bread and we're still toast.
don't freely share information about your system. especially not triggers, including positive ones. even on your system blog, you are not required to make alter intros or even use their real names. do not assume everyone online will be kind to you.
Something extremely simple for today as I rapidly lose it
We're systems! We all have trauma!
willo-endosarahhh28: actually i dont have trauma and im a system :/
ohhh sorry. Let me try again. We're systems! We all have trauma! And some people have the brain activity of an amoeba :)
Having fictives is so funny cause like yeah the character is reblogging your art of the character, have fun with that
Yknow what? Shout out to partner systems. We love our partner system and he loves us and that's what matters. 💕💕
hes been doing this all day. help
"omg you're a system!!! it just be so fun to have friends in your head!!!"
Yeah. They are my friends but you know what's really not fucking fun? Seeing how intelligent an alter is and how much they want to pursue their dream career but they can't because we share a body. Seeing how creative and talented alters are but we can't spend hours and hours drawing because we share a body and the body has to work. Seeing that an alter really wants to do something and we just don't have time, they say it's okay but we share a body and I know how they really feel.
Yeah I have friends in my head and I'm constantly letting them down because the things we all want aren't physically possible. Yeah that's really fun.
okay making an edit because this was months ago:
i was not mourning the fact someone can't do a career. this post was about feeling like a useless shitty fucking host that for some unknown reason needs to be the host of this system of genuinely incredible parts.
and yes, this is the least of my issues. there is so much fucking shit I go through bc of this disorder i don't talk about. but this is the internet and my blog. im allowed to vent.
(also this post originally was made at a time where part separation was hard/before we started did therapy. we didn't know much about our system back then)
"Endogenic systems have zero terms that aren't stolen" BE SO FOR REAL WITH ME. Hey. Hey. Where does the term system come from. Where does the term alter come from. Where does the term part come from. Where did the idea of systems come from. Could it be that.... the only reason endogenic systems exist is because they saw CDDs and wanted to make them non-disordered? Genuinely look me in the face and tell me that if CDDs NEVER existed, endogenic systems would have existed. You guys literally stole the ENTIRE CONCEPT OF A SYSTEM and stripped it of everything except for "haha fun alters". I don't wanna hear about your pussy ass EnDoS dOnT hAvE a SiNgLe TeRm ThAt IsNt StOlEn motherfucker you stole an entire disorder and turned it into a roleplay 😭😭😭