this is all i ever wanted for you, will

richelle! she/he

[dracula61]

[littleguysdaily]

Bob is performed by the artist Raphaël Gromy

[pukicho]

comic where steve from minecraft sees a round guy

[nflstreet]

Return of the king

[nflstreet]

[zenaida-auriculata]

My tumblr notes when mutuales clock in to like my posts

[swallowthekn1fe]

"They tried to kill eachother!!" oh my godddd that was only a couple of timessss and they were literally flirtingggg shut uppppp

[fatartappreciation]

Susie Kissing Sally by Virginia artist Susan Singer

http://susansingerart.blogspot.com/

[sandmandaddy69]

[randomitemdrop]

Item: Gator of Holding

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

woo i am such a fan of dramatic plants. just prissy fucking plantlife, be it unreasonable or implacable or ostentatious. plants, man

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

u know what yeah, let’s talk about weird nonsense plants

1. Living Stones

these plants imitate rocks. who does that?

imagine deciding to straight up evolve into rocks as a defense mechanism. i had a whole rant planned but now i’m remembering that i have, in the past, on multiple occasions, daydreamed about being a rock. like that has been a recurring theme in my rich inner fantasy life. i would not forsake the opportunity to evolve into a stone.

2. Hooker’s Lips

ostentatious. flamboyant. vulgar. garish. randy. dare i say whorish? yes. this plant is whorish.

pucker up you hussy

3. Hoya Hearts

overused trope. lacks subtlety and creativity. truly, they just went with the first thought to pop in their head, no brainstorming involved. “ho ho ho i’m just gonna grow into a fucking HEART, that’ll show em!” Needy & basic bitch. looks cute on a desk

4. Lifesaver Plants

manages to be both psychedelic and disapproving. reminiscent of a prudish great aunt–but like, one who did a lot of LSD in the 70s. evidence of an alien lifeform who crash landed and then decided, fuck it, i’m gonna rent a one-story in the midwest and decorate it with vintage wood paneling & floral upholstery. probably smells like stale weed and glass ashtrays

5. Happy Alien Flowers

yes that is their NAME. sort of anticlimactic, but take a gander:

they are absolute sluts for drama, as demonstrated by the little hussies pictured above are YELLING AT ME. they bring to mind seagulls engaged in a Shakespearean blood feud. this flowers have committed aggravated manslaughter and probably got away with it too.

6. Bat Plant 

aka Cat’s Whiskers aka Devil Flower. how fucking emo is that??? this plant listens to mcr and is probably the gay cousin. they never got the hang of eyeliner but that doesn’t stop them from trying, bless em. their impetuous devil-may-care persona is hindered by their crippling social anxiety. i’m immensely fond of this plant. they’ll come into their own once they graduate and move away from college, but in the mean time they sit with the tech crew at lunch. you go little Bat Plant! 

 7. Dancing Plants

total band kids. also called Semaphore Plants, bc they look like they’re trying to flag down a plane. nifty fuckers 

in conclusion, three cheers for whiny, namby-pamby, scatterbrained plantlife

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

so you’ll reblog THIS and my Non-Comprehensive List of Cursed Bird That Piss Me Off, but Whimsical Creatures Failing To Tempt Me Into The Ocean is where tumblr draws the line huh

[wheres-lostboy]

I am absolutely delighted to show you this orchid the ‘Naked Man’. It’s an orchid native to the Mediterranean and it looks like a lil dude with a tiny penis

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

PROPORTIONALLY SPEAKING

[mothyr]

YOU'RE CURSED!

[riddlesinthedork]

i stopped the dental technician while he was applying fluoride to ask what the fuck the flavour was supposed to be. And he was like oh I was wondering that too. It says it's walterberry.

[beesmygod]

[imitation-lobster-meat]

[melgillman]

Here’s HSTHETE, the 24 hour comic I drew this year!  Thanks to everybody who followed along on twitter this weekend as I posted these pages <3

PS: if you liked this, there’s a whole book of these comics available now!

[melgillman]

I’m reblogging this 7-year-old comic of mine because, not only is it somehow still circulating, it just passed 400,000 notes??? Thank you, several hundred thousand internet strangers, for keepin’ this ol’ goat girl goin’ so long

(Also hi, I’m still making fairy-tale-flavored lesbian romance comics and have a new one coming out very soon…)

[haughtyraban]

“there’s an ai tool for that” okay ?? there’s probably an ed sheeran song for it too who gives a fuck

[dragongirlsweetie]

boss makes a spider i make a slime. that's why i . thas why, tthats why i uhhh. t. thawhy

[dragongirlsweetie]

t.gats why i can't think up an end to the rhyme

[evilwizard]

GET BACK TO WORK

[inkskinned]

you know what? fuck it, man. the world is held in the fists of people who like to break things. at this point i’m saying who gives a shit. wear that victorian dress you don’t have an excuse for. dress up like a witch, pointed hat and all. who cares anymore. why worry about it when there’s bigger stuff to worry on. i’m saying. yeah, this lipstick is too dark, wanna share? i’m saying go talk to her, tell her that you like her hair. i’m saying she’s out of my league but i’m still swinging, i’m saying yeah i’m in a ballgown and it’s a pta meeting. what about it. eat the extra brownie, tell her your feelings. i’m saying if nothing matters than we might as well give nothing meaning.

[inkskinned]

#i’m saying if existence is a void at least i’m going down screaming.

it’s been 9 years since i wrote this. i was experiencing 24/7 anxiety so badly that i needed serious medication. these days in the back of my car is an “emergency party box.” when people admit they no longer really celebrate their birthday; i tell them to put the sash on and queue up kesha, we’re going bowling or something. these days i can’t spin around without finding something i am enamored with. these days i list 3 things i’m grateful for before i fall asleep. you’re probably one of them, just by virtue of you existing.

at the time i wrote this, i was suffering through a severe panic attack literally every night. i tortured my brother with constant 2 AM calls just to hear someone else breathing, because i couldn’t be alone in the silence.

i rarely wish i was still 23 even though ironically i had more hope back then. what i can tell you is this: i love the same way, but bigger now. i’ve worn the velvet cape to several business meetings. i spent thursday in a crop top without caring what my stomach looked like.

i told her i like her; i often dress as a witch. i still got glass in my foot this morning. i’ve kissed maybe a thousand people since then and met a million more than that; passing like the shadow of a hammerhead in trains and planes and buses.

i saw you, beloved, there, maybe, on platform in south station. you didn’t speak, but you said: i struggle to give the nothing meaning. the nothing fills up everything. it is just loud and yellowed panicked silence. i can’t stop shaking.

on the roof, birds curl together against the chilled spring wind. the sky outside of the craft store was an iridescent pink. the nothing already had meaning; you are giving it meaning by witnessing.

the act of living, beloved: it’s just decoding how to translate it.

[girljeremystrong]

ever since i was a little girl i've been mad as hell

[valtsv]

once you notice how the conventional oppressive ideal of The Family pervades every sociological concept including the fictional and hypothetical you really do start to feel a kind of face-peeling anguish about it all

[valtsv]

"mothers of this species abandon their young to fend for themselves from birth, and even attack and cannibalise each other regardless of age or relation, how heartless :'(" "females birth and rear the young while males defend the territory, as is the natural order of things" "this fictional alien species with no concept of gender sexuality or social hierarchy as we understand it nevertheless forms familial units comprising of mother, father, and child archetypes" "i spent years worldbuilding my fantasy realm but every culture i invented conforms to nuclear family ideals, except for the totally-not-a-racial-stereotype primitive tribes" "incest is a universal taboo" okay. cool. cool. no that's fine. it's fine. you've paved over so much interesting and valuable sociological discourse we could have had with an unimaginative negatively + punitively reinforced status quo but it's literally fine.

[valtsv]

i wish i had a dick so i could experience erectile dysfunction

[valtsv]

how it feels when i remember that i'll never be able to get so drunk or sick or sad that my dick stops working