Overheard today at the café I started working at (because being a sorcerer for hire isn't exactly bringing the bread (I have to decline so many offers because of how unhinged everyone is about their breakups wtf)):
Customer A: I have this friend who already has everything, but his birthday is coming up soon, and I just for the life of me can't figure out what to get.
Customer B: I think that I know who you're talking about, I think that I'll get him a buffet coupon for that one very good restaurant they also have in Metropolis.
Customer A: Not everyone has your metabolism or appetite.
Customer C: His birthday isn't for a while, why are you even thinking about it this early?
Customer A: Because he is a good friend.
Customer D: Give him a coupon that allows him to carry you around bridal style.
Customer A: I hope that you're joking.
Customer D: Hey, it'd make me very happy!
Customer A: You'll be getting a keychain and a restraining order.
Customer A: You know exactly why.
Customer B: To be fair Arrow, you do give some people the creeps with how obsessive you can be.
Customer D: AM NOT! I just thought that B and I were the bestest of friends.
Customer B: I'm pretty sure that honour goes to that one local cop.
Customer A: Gordon and I have worked together for a long time.
Customer B: SEE? His best friend is the cop.
Customer C: And you are dating his son.
Customer B: WHO TOLD YOU THAT
Customer C: The tabloids of Central City after you two were seen in a compromised position during a mission.
Customer A: Unlikely, you are known to wear the best anti-slip shoes available along with you possessing the fastest speed known to man. However if you are dating Nightwing, I won't be mad, just disappointed.
Customer A: This isn't helping me to come up with a good gift for Superman. Having this meet-up is a waste of time.
I looked up and the people talking were BATMAN, FLASH, GREEN ROBIN HOOD AND THE FUCKING THEMYSCRAN WARRIOR PRINCESS WHAT THE FUCK.
Anyway, I suggested that they'd get this Superman flowers since everyone should receive them at least once in their life since they have tons of different meanings and then asked them if they could not hold the line longer with their arguments about Flash's love life and whether or not green Robin Hood is a creep.
I got a 100 USD tip from that.
I still don't know what the fuck any of them were doing in Gotham safe for Batman.
My new headcanon is that Green Robin Hood is Batman's ex and this Superman is his current flame.
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