Welcome to My Twisted Mind

Yes, I am using that blog title ironically I kind of just post whatever here Erica | 18 | Her/she | USA

[funnytwittertweets]

[powerbottombrucespringsteen]

The universal human experience of packing underwear for a vacation like you’re going to shit yourself every day

[dontmeantobepoliticalbut]

[politijohn]

[dailylilnasx]

[himbokirkrights-deactivated2021]

star trek be having episodes titled shit like “the city on the edge of forever” “who mourns for adonais?” “and the children shall lead” “is there in truth no beauty?” “for the world is hollow and i have touched the sky” and “let that be your last battlefield” and expect me not to go bonkers fucking yonkers

[mylostsockdrawer]

Yeah, and then the plot is “ a belly dancer is murdered and the suspects are Scotty and actual Jack the Ripper”

[adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy]

“What a shame the poor groom’s bride is a—”

“Watermelon?”

“No!!!”

.....why this kinda sLAP THO

[funny-tik-toks]

[kristina100000]

googling "women" to see how they have been doing lately because i dont want to message any of them

[luisonte]

Coño don limpio

[glitterhoney2]

mr clean off the shits

[lesbianralzarek]

am fascinated by the implication that this person thinks that a backflip clean out of his pants and onto a swing would be easier

[chthonic-isabelleadjani-deactiv]

Bro İ hate being an academic they're making me write shit 😭 İ thought İ was just supposed to sit in an old chair smoke & say something french every now and then 😢

[inhaleass]

am i having a stroke why are your i's so long i'm

[sirfrogsworth]

If you ever want to cheer yourself up, I highly suggest searching the internet for random Dolly Parton facts and quotes. 

A lot of times a cool Dolly fact will cause a Dolly fact cascade and you’ll just smile and smile as it unravels. 

I see what you did there Donut-Farts. 

[iran-contrarian]

[iran-contrarian]

[madz-the-3rd]

[athomeinmybooks]

Why...why isn't she wearing pants?

[xxyeehawxx]

it's more of a pussy out look

[weird-ecologies]

I'm late to the paleontology drama but my god this is so funny

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

One time I was cooking with a girl and we were both bilingual but we didn’t have a language in common so we were just sitting by the fire doing prep work quietly and I was peeling little garlic cloves to mince and she put her hand on my arm to stop me and demonstrated how you’re supposed to press on the clove with the flat side of your knife to break the shell off all at once to peel it and I was like oh! And I imitated her and she nodded in approval and we went back to quietly peeling and mincing the garlic and I don’t want to be hyperbolic but in that moment I was like wow I truly understand the universal thread of human love and connection inherent in our souls or whatever

[raptortooth]

In high school there was a Russian exchange student in my gym class, and he spoke very little English at the time. So a group of boys went over to him, sat around him, and then one of them drew a pot leaf on a piece of paper and handed it to him. He looked at it, nodded, and everybody cheered. It was a beautiful moment to behold.

[aroacepagans]

So I’ve seen almost no social media promotion for it, but someone created a website where people can list/find aromantic friendly professionals like therapists and doctors. It’s a little sparse at the moment, but almost all of the information is crowdsourced, so if people know of aro-friendly professionals I encourage you to submit a recommendation! The more people add to this, the better it will be as a community resource!

[wafflesrisa]

Here’s something cute

When lockdown happened in the UK it happened very suddenly. At the law firm I work at, our office building emptied overnight when everyone was told to work from home. No time to clear our desks, no time to bring office plants home.

Fast forward three and a half months - everyone assumes that their plants are dead.

But then! An email goes round! It’s turns out that one of our security guards is a florist, and -

-the security team has moved EVERY SINGLE PLANT from all 12 FLOORS of our office building into the cafeteria. It’s been turned into a temporary greenhouse. Cacti and succulents and spider plants and terrariums and potted ferns

AND! Each plant has been INDIVIDUALLY LABELLED by hand with post-it notes with name and desk location so the plants can go home after lockdown ends

To give some indication of the scale of the endeavour:

If you zoom into the centre right photo you can see one of our security team happily waving

The plants are being taken care of tenderly. They get sun and water and are spending happy times with other plant friends