Stuff

[negativepeanuthoarder]

the way ppl have designated cuddling as a purely romantic thing and is weird outside of that context has done widespread damage to our pack animal nature

[screenshotsofdespair]

[chokopoppo]

The worst thing in the entire world is when you’re sweeping a big pile of dirt into a dustpan and it leaves that little coke line of grit behind. No matter how you position your pan or your broom and no matter how many times you sweep over it your outcome cannot change. As immovable as fate. I hate it so

[swords-n-spindles]

Get a wet paper towel and wipe up the last line of dust with it. No fate is so immovable that we cannot change it.

[mapplestrudel]

“No fate is so immovable that we cannot change it” is a raw and inspiring quote I did not expect from a post about a minor chore annoyance xD

[sexy-people-contests-2026]

Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Round 2 Part 37

Goofy (A Very Goofy Movie)

Benoit Blanc (Knives Out)

Remaining time: 1 day 16 hours

[almaprincess66]

Everyone please vote Benoit Blanc!

He is fashionable, he is southern, he is gay married to Hugh Grant!

[kaijuyuri]

star wars fans really just make anything up

[byjove]

I’m not Glup Shitto-ing you. He has a sexstache and everything.

[starwarsheritageposts]

star wars heritage post

[tomthanx]

Happy Pride to Biggs Darklighter

[stephantom]

He’s part of the Alliance.

[benzohoarder]

[figural]

#google translate does not capture the tone switch so i have to say. first two sentences are like. normal maybe kind of feminine posting tone #& the last is like. shounen manga protagonist. action movie hero. jojo's bizarre adventure character. #the tone you would use if you were holding a gun with the safety off (– @chadlesbianjasontodd)

[minothtime]

Basically, a translation could be:

I just think it's so interesting that people end up falling in love with their friends' boyfriends! I absolutely despise every single one of them. give me my fucking homie back you goddamn bastard

[liminalweirdo]

translation tags by @minothtime because they are so so good

[dikdikpronouncedxylophone]

[casket-girlie]

Yeah running water is cool but uuh. You do know that if you use it to pour enough water into a container you can put your head in it and drown and DIE??? Yeah this is crazy and evil and sad. What if a kid does that. This is why I propose the idea to make it so people pay 200000$ every time they use the sink!!! This is because no child has that much money so they are physically unable to harm themselves <3 Wdym this is insane and we shouldn't be paying 200000$ just to get a glass of water. There are no ulterior motives. No it's not about taking your money. This is for child safety. Don't you want children to be safe??? You evil sicko freak. What's wrong with you for thinking this is wrong and won't work.

[casket-girlie]

Yeah running water is cool but uuh. You do know that if you use it to pour enough water into a container you can put your head in it and drown and DIE??? Yeah this is crazy and evil and sad. What if a kid does that. This is why I propose the idea to make it so people pay 200000$ every time they use the sink!!! This is because no child has that much money so they are physically unable to harm themselves <3 Wdym this is insane and we shouldn't be paying 200000$ just to get a glass of water. There are no ulterior motives. No it's not about taking your money. This is for child safety. Don't you want children to be safe??? You evil sicko freak. What's wrong with you for thinking this is wrong and won't work.

[casket-girlie]

Yeah running water is cool but uuh. You do know that if you use it to pour enough water into a container you can put your head in it and drown and DIE??? Yeah this is crazy and evil and sad. What if a kid does that. This is why I propose the idea to make it so people pay 200000$ every time they use the sink!!! This is because no child has that much money so they are physically unable to harm themselves <3 Wdym this is insane and we shouldn't be paying 200000$ just to get a glass of water. There are no ulterior motives. No it's not about taking your money. This is for child safety. Don't you want children to be safe??? You evil sicko freak. What's wrong with you for thinking this is wrong and won't work.

[markovchaingang]

men and women are not opposites. men and women are not enemies. men and women are two parts of a broad coalition which fights against a mutual enemy: inkjet printers

[mattpresents]

How do you know you're not Asexual? Maybe you just haven't met the right nobody.

[aroaceenjolras]

This "allosexuality" thing is just a phase. You just need to have really bad sex, and then maybe you'll change your mind.

[blancdasta]

Birds of Prey 1999 #84

[catchymemes]

[teaboot]

"she thinks this is bonding behavior" my friend this has BECOME your bonding behaviour

[venndaai]

have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.

[venndaai]

they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you

[fluorescentbrains]

this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard

just vacuuming up their unsuspecting prey. whole !

[muffinlance]

Good news good news good news! Recent research suggests the eye parasites do NOT blind them!

Eye-opening research: Greenland sharks maintain vision for centuries through DNA repair mechanism

Dorota Skowronska-Krawczyk sits in her office, eyes fixed on the computer monitor in front of her. "You see it move its eye," says the UC Ir

I <3 you a normal amount Greenland sharks

[moghedien]

I feel like I need to share this because idk if Europeans are familiar with the presence of Aldi in the US, but at least especially in my area they’ve been growing a lot recently. Like Aldi bought out some local failing grocery chains where I live (Louisiana) and have opened Aldis in all these somewhat rural communities and small towns, which for the record I’m fine with

But as a result of this they are advertising a lot more in my area and also in many cases, the people in these areas have never been confronted with Aldi or any European grocery store. So the ads that Aldi is pushing out to its new US customer base feature a cowboy shopping at Aldi who is explaining to new Aldi customers how Aldi works. Like this cowboy is explaining you gotta put a quarter in the shopping cart and why there are very little name brands. A cowboy is how they want to reach their American customer base. They gave us a cowboy

[moghedien]

Here he is, the Aldi Cowboy

[thosetiktoks]

Credit: meg_langton_

[sing-you-fools]

oh hey i have one for this

[hotvampireadjacent]

https://twitter.com/birdtickler/status/1552657242909904897?s=21&t=q4JEDIALmV-cAjcoEOypdw

[littlemisspipebomb]

ok so I looked it up, and it turns out they made a track out of PVC pipes, down a hill. The owner didn't realise PVC expanded in the heat, so on a turn the track just fell apart and the dude inside went over a fucking free way and into a swamp.

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

The funniest part is that the inspector was watching the whole time, and once the ball stopped he left without saying anything. Park management just shut it down then and there.

[baronfulmen]

"The ball cleared a small hill, briefly going airborne, then zipped right across Route 94, the two-lane road splitting the park. Cars honked and slammed on their brakes. If there had been opposing traffic, Frank would have become part of a real-life game of Pong, volleying from one bumper to another.

Still in pursuit, we followed the ball toward a small lake in Motor World that had been earmarked for a fleet of tiny bumper boats for children. The area wasn’t open yet, but the empty boats were being tested and floated on the surface. The ball soared over the grass and smashed into several of them, scattering the others with rippling waves from the impact, which launched some of the boats several feet in the air.

Charlie and Ken waded into the water looking for the hatch. After some difficulty, they got it open. Charlie pulled Frank out by grabbing him under his armpits like a baby. Frank crawled up the bank, coughing and sputtering. He splayed across the grass as we all stared at the ball, which bobbed in the water like it was attached to a fishing lure.

We did not ask for the inspector’s report, nor did we ever hear of one being filed. Ken Bailey returned to Canada. The snow-makers cleared away the PVC. Told to dispose of the Bailey Ball, they rolled it into the woods, where it remained for many years."

I don't know that this beats the teeth story, but it's pretty great.

[microsff]

"You have improved," the swordmaster said.

"Thanks to my new sword," said the student.

The swordmaster studied the blade and frowned. "This is enchanted?"

"You know about cursed swords that whisper that you should kill?"

"Yes?"

"This tells me I'm loved and valid."

"Ah. Well. It's not wrong."