Game Changer & Make Some Noise
bliss lane
taylor price
titsay
Show & Tell
Today's Document
Jimmy Eat World
Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!
Game of Thrones Daily
noise dept.
The Bright Sessions
Phantogram Three
NASA
shark vs the universe
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d e v o n
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Doug Jones
Color Me Curious
Keni
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@burned-to-a-crispy
Media sometimes uses a snarky butler as a sign of a weak or ineffectual employer, but man, if I had that kind of money, I’d pay extra for a butler who was quick-witted enough to just burn me to the ground at a moment’s notice.
This is the principle behind medieval jesters
I found this on tiktok and I laughed so hard so I thought I’d share on here
It’s so chaotic I love it
just so you guys are all aware, the only reason gritty exists is allegedly because the NHL made a rule that every team HAD to have a mascot and were apparently assholes about it. so the fliers made him as a chaotic fuck you. hell the first tweet made on his official account was a "sleep with one eye open" threat towards another mascot for making fun of his design
are we not going to talk about how he launched an entire sheetcake into that man’s face, probably killing him?
He also collects crystals
I fucking love Gritty.
Can't wait for the opening scene of the Cruella movie where we find out Dalmatians murdered her parents leaving a theater in Gotham City.
My favorite thing that’s ever happened in an art class is that this weird pen artist (who was notorious for a) drawing body horror and b) bringing bananas to class in the front pocket of his shirt) was once like “wait let me draw you” and proceeded to sketch the most fucked up charicature you’ve ever seen. He told me I had serial killer eyes and a nose that “looked too much like a nose”
In early 2019 we went to an art competition together and at the end of the day we went to the convention hotel lobby and he drank seven consecutive cups of their complimentary lemonade while the front desk hostess looked on in silent woe
Going to have to call this mf up and tell him that my followers want his whole ass I guess
This was his bio on our online school website
why do ppl keep trying to punch the Mandalorian in his shiny metal face
if i saw a guy wearing a big metal hat I would say “Well I should probably not hit him with my hand I think”
Din Djarin just bumbling around the galaxy leaving a trail of broken hearts and split knuckles
Well see, a lot of people in the Star Wars are not very bright.
this is the way
There are 2 molecules of Common Sense in the Star Wars universe. Princess Leia gets one. She usually gets the second too, but sometimes a Mando borrows it.
Everyone else is just SOL.
Ok but....
the bisexuals have claimed godzilla and kong and we aren’t giving them back lol
*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free
invasive species encroach on lesbian territory
This is a common misconception because they’re such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe’s. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Lowe’s to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores.
A properly raised and socialized Dad will be perfectly comfortable cohabiting with Lesbians. Its not really “encroaching on another’s territory”. You wouldn’t say that about foxes in a forest that also homes bobcats, would you? No. It’s just two different species that have both evolved to live in similar/the same environment. As long as they recognize each other as equals, Dads and Lesbians are more than capable of cohabitation.
Now, if you were to release a pack of Lumberjacks into a Lowes or Home Depot, that’s where chaos will reign. Being adapted to a far harsher and more demanding environment, the Lumberjacks would simply push Dads and Lesbians both out and also consume far more than a sustainable amount of resources. It would be like releasing bears at a country club.
As a former timber-harvester… I feel this is potentially accurate in theory. But highly improbable in actuality.
Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require more space than the average hardware store, even a big box store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a social species because of how they often work and live together.
This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival technique for thriving under the LogBoss.
A “pack” of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental pressure of a LogBoss will naturally disperse until they each have a wide territory.
Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory.
One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian, however the latter tend to travel in social packs.
Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch.
Getting a “pack” of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok. If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred.
Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware ecosystem. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive.
Please stop labeling Lumberjacks as dangerous roving social predators. They are intermediate level omnivores and remarkably peaceful unless threatened.
As a hardware store worker I can say that this is all 100% accurate.
now how in the FUCK am i supposed to leave tumblr when a god tier post like THIS is just is just waiting for me daily?!?!?!
question where does the “art student” or “DIYer” “crafter” or “soap maker” or “miniaturist“ etc. who has ventured into the store for supplies fall into the ecosystem/what is their impact of said ecosystem?
Most of the above are native to craft and hobby stores (art students, historically, are native to museums, but having been introduced to hobby stores, have found a niche for themselves and thrived), but all can be seen in hardware stores on occasion due to territorial overlap. They are generally low-impact, as they tend to stick to specific small areas and primarily utilize different resources. While a large group of any of them can be disruptive (art students, in particular, are known to travel in packs), in general, they are more likely to have territorial disputes with one another than with the local fauna.
A point of clarity -“crafter” is a bit misleading; while it conjures a specific image, much like ‘fish’ or ‘reptile’ it actually covers a broad array of wildly disparate species, and in general, more descriptive nomenclature is preferred. Fiber artists in particular are a genus to watch out for, particularly in groups. Beware a roving pack of domesticated quilters. They fear nothing, will go anywhere, and due to their social nature, will often seek interaction from other species that thrive best in solitude. They are quite friendly, and will happily adopt members of other species; the concern is that their adoptees do not always wish to be adopted.
#in search of taxonomic precision and peaceful coexistence (via welkinalauda)
Feminist fantasy is funny sometimes in how much it wants to shit on femininity for no goddamned reason. Like the whole “skirts are tools of the patriarchy made to cripple women into immobility, breeches are much better” thing.
(Let’s get it straight: Most societies over history have defaulted to skirts for everyone because you don’t have to take anything off to relieve yourself, you just have to squat down or lift your skirts and go. The main advantage of bifurcated garments is they make it easier to ride horses. But Western men wear pants so women wearing pants has become ~the universal symbol of gender equality~)
The book I’m reading literally just had its medievalesque heroine declare that peasant women wear breeches to work in the field because “You can’t swing a scythe in a skirt!”
Hm yes story checks out
peasant women definitely never did farm labour in skirts
skirts definitely mean you’re weak and fragile and can’t accomplish anything
skirts are definitely bad and will keep you from truly living life
no skirts for anyone, that’s definitely the moral of the story here
Now, a skirt that’s too long will be harder to work in–skirts brushing the floor may look elegant, but is also a tripping hazard–but that is not a problem with skirts in general, it’s a problem with that particular skirt not being suited to being worked in. Skirts are very practical. You can hike them up if you’re hot or need more freedom to maneuver (this is called “girding your loins”). If you need to carry something, you can lift up your hem and make a pouch just like the person in yellow in the bottom picture above. If you need to handle something hot, a skirt generally has enough material you can hold it out from your body to use as a hot pad. (Tight skirts were only used by people who didn’t need to work/move until the invention of elastic fabric.)
Long skirts were markers of class almost as much as gender. Both men and women in the European middle ages wore extravagantly long garments to indicate both “I’m so rich I can afford THIS MUCH fabric” and “I don’t walk in the mud, I pay servants to do that for me.”
Skirt hiking: Definitely a Thing. (Janet’s tied her kirtle green/above the knee and not below…)
Love this post, and want to add: another example of the “empowerment means shitting on feminity” is the bizarro way that this genre attacks basic survival skills like cooking and sewing as pointless, inferior or mutually exclusive with masculine pursuits (like your lady knight should probably know how to cook for herself and sew her own wounds and patch her clothes while she’s on her quest through the North to rescue her boyfriend, or this happy couple is in for a world of hurt!)
Or to quote one of my all favorite posts, “fuck women’s contribution to our survival.”
Historically, skirts have been the garment of choice for almost every culture, gender and class. Breeches, or pants, were created specifically for riding horses.
western cat twitters are like “HoOman” and japanese cat twitters are like “Today I will consider the state of things.”
you forgot russian cat tumblr
Russian cats are right in the middle of the two
This just hit me. I’m so Southern my family has a matriarch and no one in the family knows for sure how old she is. We all also got into a heated debate about the existence of her glass eye (still not confirmed). She’s in her 90s- we think- beat cancer, outlived two husbands, had seven children and has outlived three of them, survived The Great Depression, and either her dad or her grandfather was a full blooded Cherokee Indian… possibly the tribe’s leader but no one really knows for sure.
She also once lit into my dad’s school bus driver, cussing him black and blue about how he treated the kids and didn’t realize she had a butcher’s knife in her hand until he RAN away. She didn’t have any more trouble out of him.
…I wish to know how and why this just occured to you, please
I had an eloquent reason but really what it boils down to is I think Mamaw is a cryptid. The running joke in the family is that Mamaw will be at the end of the world with the twinkies and the cockroaches.
I’m not sure it’s a joke anymore, I think it’s a premonition.
Two years ago one of my cousins wanted to bring her wife to thanksgiving and Joe was all “ew no way” and Mamaw stood her ass up and said “Who the hell do you think you are, saying who is and isn’t welcome in my house? This ain’t your house- you get out! I say who is welcome and YOU is not welcome. Now SCAT!” while slapping at him and then sat back down and asked my cousin if her wife ate catfish. Joe tried to come back in and she popped the tennis balls off her walker and threw them at him until he left
No matter how old Mamaw gets, her hair is still solid black. She still hasn’t gone gray and she’s never once died her hair. Her kids all have heads full of gray hair, and my father- her grandson- is starting to go gray. Mamaw? Nothing. I swear she looks exactly the same as she did when I was a kid.
Mamaw got Covid-19. She presented with symptoms and was rushed to the ER with a dangerously high fever and next to no oxygen. The doctors took note of her age (she’s apparently 93 as best she can guess) and her vitals and, well, Mamaw wasn’t gonna make it past Monday.
By Sunday night the fever was gone and she was complaining that the hospital didn’t get WWE and she was gonna “miss my wrasslin shows!”.
She was home and completely fine by Tuesday. By Wednesday she was calling up the anti-maskers in our family just to call them idiots and hang up.
Gods above, your Mamaw would scare Cthulu into submission.
Mamaw would probably fish Cthulhu out of the sea and fry him up along with the catfish
honestly even if ur 100% monogamous its healthy to be able to like... discuss your own attraction. your partner shouldnt be getting wildly jealous over you having the hots for a celebrity or fictional character, and if your partner thinks your friends are good looking that shouldnt be panic attack inducing. thats like... normal? its normal to notice when people are attractive?
like ok be miserable but me n my bf will be laughing together over which pathetic fictional man we'd have as our third if he were real
Quetzacoatlus 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪
@elodieunderglass
Honestly the whiplash of seeing the beginning of “do you love the color of the sky” and absolutely flinging yourself further down the dashboard at light speed to scroll past it, only to discover that it’s the shortened version and you now have to gingerly scroll back up to the posts you missed? Arguably a funnier prank than the original
bUT SEX ED IN SCHOOL WILL CORRUPT THE CHILDREN IT’S OKAY THEIR PARENTS WILL TELL THEM
Im the parent putting doctor pepper in my kids bottle
Me, refusing to leave tumblr: sir, this is my emotional support hellsite
beepboop. censorbot approved
“Me, refusing to leave: sir, this is my emotional hell” is a funnier text post than my original one, good job censorbot.
