just fuck me up

I don't know anything born 97 Love to read fanfics

[stuffman]

People have written a lot of touchy-feely pieces on this subject but I thought I’d get right to the heart of the matter

[sqbr]

[The artist, putting a simple cake next to a much fancier one: “Aw man, that guy’s cake is way better than mine.” The Audience, gleefully holding up a knife and fork “HOLY SHIT! TWO CAKES!”]

[elvencantation]

additions from the og artist (credit)

[scientia-rex]

“Holy shit two cakes,” I mutter to myself as I do fucking anything these days, this post was a godsend

[ruffboi-mags]

I know it’s not July yet, but guys, happy 10 years of “two cakes”. This post on god has been a godsend not only as a writer myself but as a friend of artists and writers who I love to encourage. This was legitimately a game-changer.

OP thank you so much for this.

[probuccalfat]

Girl I was scrolling through your blog and I had to google "shane dawson" and "pewdiepie" back to back who are these people 😭

you might be the only pure soul left

[yujateaandpi]

Was driving with my grandmother and in broken English she says “no eyes… no nose… no face. Don’t trust.” To which I looked around wildly in search of this omen of ill portend.

Cybertruck. It was a cybertruck.

[morepopcornplease]

fake Goncharov fans don’t even realize that Scorsese did NOT direct the 1973 cult classic. he was executive producer. 🤦‍♀️

The actual director is Natted JWHJ0715, and they deserve credit!!!

[onstoryladders]

It's Matteo JWHJ0715!!!!! Very talented director (italian mother, license plate father)

[official-lucifers-child]

[onedirectionforever]

“you support gay rights so you must be gay”

i support animal rights do i look like a fucking alpaca to you

[onedirectionforever]

turns out i am gay

[monsieurenjlolras]

holy shit how’d this alpaca learn how to type

[mywitchcultblr]

Diversity win! The alpaca is gay!

[adreamthatsworthkeeping]

[thebirdkiwi]

he was a llama

[fritextramole]

a llama?! he’s supposed to be dead!

[lilysaus-reblogs]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame i think this deserves to be here

[dogpuppy]

I wish I could have heard you sing this… I bet you have a beautiful voice

[slavicafire]

why don't you present yourself more femininely?

fat medieval hedgehog

[venndaai]

have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.

[venndaai]

they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you

[fluorescentbrains]

this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard

just vacuuming up their unsuspecting prey. whole !

[muffinlance]

Good news good news good news! Recent research suggests the eye parasites do NOT blind them!

Eye-opening research: Greenland sharks maintain vision for centuries through DNA repair mechanism

Dorota Skowronska-Krawczyk sits in her office, eyes fixed on the computer monitor in front of her. "You see it move its eye," says the UC Ir

I <3 you a normal amount Greenland sharks

[mrsterlingeverything]

Lets let friday get us pregnant and have a baby that lasts the whole weekend

[wrenchswango]

I love chain lightening what a classic spell. fuck you and you and you and you and you and

[lepidopteragirl]

deadbeat group chat member

[snoopyoftheday]

snoopy of the day

[cutecipher]

a cat is a sort of machine that dispenses hair all over you and everything else in the room

[achillesinhighheels]

Come with me we’re going laughing

[motherfucker-unlimited]

I don't give an amazing digital fuck

[loreleywrites]

you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too

[parachim]

inat's email game is wild