Cactus You

🏳️‍🌈. she/her. i teach tiny humans.

[thoughts-in-shower]

No matter how old you are, an empty wrapping paper tube is still fun to bonk someone over the head with.

[careens]

It Is Wintertime

[thecommonchick]

bug: hi

me: Aren't You Supposed To Be Dead.

[snorlaxatives]

i can’t believe there are people that are still in high school like… it’s literally 2018 how have you not grown up yet damn

[theeidiot79-deactivated20180115]

Are you perhaps some sort of idiot?

[snorlaxatives]

[marisatomay]

[stelleamezzogiorno]

Bunnies love flowers 🌼

[pukicho]

If you were to vacuum up jello through a metal tube, well I think that’d be a neat noise 

[luteyandthemermaid]

i beg to differ 

[pukicho]

Then Beg

[mightymargaretofanjou]

Y'all can keep at it with that “Romeo and Juliet fell in love in five days how immature” shiz but Macbeth went from no murder to yes murder in like one afternoon and I feel like one of those is a significantly bigger problem than the other

[frankie-steins-leg]

In his defense his wife triple dog dared him and called him a pussy

[succubusboyfriend]

me at any given time: can we just buckle down and focus on the task at hand please???

my brain:

my brain: ……….ranibow sprimkle……………

[succubusboyfriend]

ranibow sprimkle……..

[cr0wswithknives]

kepchup.

[cosmicyeehaw]

SPINCH

[oli-nerd]

B A N C H

[scoobertdoobertlove]

chichen nuggest

[yondus-wife]

b R o G L e

[borzboy]

strawbebbies..

[sprayed-cheese]

this post almost moved me to tears

[were-owl-deactivated20241025]

Tag yourself, I’m spinch or rainbow sprimkle

[justnick612-deactivated20210723]

I’m kepchup lmao

[fysticalmorest]

Brogle and rainbow sprimkle

[atlinmerrick]

This is so charming I feel punched in the solar plexus and I’m here for this sort of gentle, sweet violence.

[kristiemewisstan]

some additions from my own collection

[weepingwillo-deactivated2022071]

[fractiousrvt]

Brain Bluerry muffin

[creepish]

would you collect rocks with me. be honest

[toastbutteregg]

[5u5]

thats just the way the pussy crumbles

[daisiesandbumblebees]

please see a gynecologist

[wandorwoman-deactivated20141024]

[997]

What do you do for a living

i try my best

[toastbutteregg]

[whythebigpaws]

I mixed up “donkey kong” and “king kong” and accidentally said “kinky dong” to my parents today

[nineherbscharm]

the uk needs to decrim weed so the great british baking show can have edibles week

[wumblr]

mr sandman. we meet at last. you cannot run. i'm kicking your ass