a witch ought never to be frightened in the darkest forest @calanthe - Tumblr Blog

I should be doing more to appreciate the lack of marvel movies in today's popular culture. I once yearned for marvel movies to have this level of irrelevance. They used to feel almost ozymandian, like an empire that had no beginning and no end. and now tony stark iron man is naught but two vast and trunkless legs of stone.

sashayed

but ykw at least i'm not on mount everest. at least i'm not paying tens of thousands of dollars to slowly suffocate in a 300-person line at the gates of hell. never in my life will i have to be steered in a hypoxic stupor through the maze of poop and corpses atop mount everest. on this earth a lot of horrible things can happen to you without your permission but there are a few that you have to opt into. you can just say no thanks! and be guaranteed never to have to be on mount everest. much to be grateful for actually

sashayed

still not on mount everest this morning 😌 alhamdulillah

beardedmrbean

paxamericana

official-kircheis

As per my last clay tablet,

lurking-latinist

CCing Ibbi-Ilabrat on this one just to make sure we’re all on the same page!

ariaste

“The sesame is visibly dying” makes me lose it every time. My sesame #mysesame

bayesic-bitch

Starting my speech at the Omelas city council with a child acknowledgement statement

solongfranklloydwright

the french beatles

solongfranklloydwright

jean, paul, george, et ringeaux

solongfranklloydwright

sadclowncentral

i had a dream that time travel was invented and too many people choose to travel back in time to save the titanic from sinking (the question of whether unsinking of the titanic deserved so much attention in the face of human history was the subject of both heavy academic and online discourse), which caused a rift in the space-time-continuum that led to the titanic showing up indiscriminately all over the world’s oceans and sea in various states of sinking.

this caused a lot of issues both in terms of fixing said space-time-continuum and in terms of nautical navigation, and after a long and heavy battle in the international maritime organization it was decided that the bureaucratic burden of dealing with this was to be upon Ireland, much to their dismay. the Irish Government then released an app for all sailors and seafarers so they could report titanic sightings during their journeys, even though they heavily dissuaded you from reporting them given the paperwork it caused.

anyway i woke up with a clear image of the app in my head and needed to recreate it for all of you:

sadclowncentral

no you don't understand. i do international regulation of emerging technologies for a living. this WAS me stress dreaming about work

alex-just-vibing

looking for fics about your favorite character on ao3 be like:

dont care

what the actual fuck

dont care

ooh that sounds- what the fuck

unfinished

don't care

the best fic ive ever read in my life. this absolutely ruined me and ill never be the same ever again

dont care

alamogirl80

Reblogging for the absolute brutal accuracy of this comment

anachronic-cobra

And then you're like "fuck it, I'll make my own" and once you've done that you toss it into the goodwill bin to be someone else's prada or container of human teeth

mjrtaurus

And sometimes you gotta go with the container of human teeth purely out of morbid curiosity.

waterme-stories

The container of human teeth is what I was looking for specifically. If you must know.

unyieldingsilence

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radialarch

'in the canon of my heart shane hollander keeps his head up in the neutral zone.' <- i saw someone say that they believe that That moment is shane misremembering the hit due to his concussion and that is now my canon forever. at some point in the future shane tries to talk to ilya about how nightmarishly embarrassing that was (and how he doesn't understand how ilya got past him suddenly being that bad at hockey...) and ilya has to ask him what the fuck he is talking about because that's not what happened, shane, i remember it very clearly! it is on youtube!!

wait anon this is so so good. shane hollander getting a traumatic brain injury after experiencing one (1) single moment of gay hope and immediately rewriting reality to construe it as punishment. he let himself want ilya coming in through the front door of his apartment & was divinely struck down via the medium of cliff marleau. and if scott hunter hadn't gritted his teeth and said i don't have to be so fucking lonely anymore where would we be!!!!! ilya going back to russia enduring his brother for the fleeting happiness of seeing his niece. shane using the only free weeks of his year mentally rerunning that moment, digging his teeth into his tongue, thinking he has to choose because it's impossible to have both, ilya or hockey, hockey or ilya, and he's done it, right, seventeen years of not having ilya, but he doesn't remember one fucking moment when he didn't have hockey.

anyway thank god it is indeed on youtube so ilya can pull it up on his phone & shove it into shane's face & watch shane's jaw unclench tick by tick until he turns back to ilya and says, breathless like he's been absolved of a crime, "i didn't"

#heated rivalry

eemolu

the idea that hollander "tamed" rozanov is really funny to shane because like. ilya finds it hot and is always going along with it, yes of course my husband is so sexy why do you think i moved to this boring fucking city. for dick. meanwhile shane knows the truth which is that ilya tamed himself. he herded shane like a sheepdog until he was exactly in the right position for ilya to flop down at his feet and say i love you, i am a one man guy, sleep with other people if you want but you are it for me, so shane is always there like ??? ilya. what are you talking about. i was literally prepared to be a secret slot on your roster for the rest of time without even admitting that i was gay until you decided to have me over make me lunch and say my name while you come like a love confession and ilya goes lyubmiyy. shut up. i was untamable you tamed the untamable and so shane has to be like yes, baby, i worked so hard, i used all my tricks but he's rolling his eyes because ilya wants to be a wolf shane coaxed inside to sleep on the hearth but instead he's a cat who snuck through the window and fell in love with his prey. self domesticated. and this is just one of the many perfect games they play

#heated rivalry

penny-anna

Hot (ha) take but I think everyone needs to stop with 'oh heat in Britain is extra bad bcos we don't have the infrastructure' and 'oh it's the humidity'. We could upgrade all our infrastructure and 100% of people in Britain could be having a lovely time in the sun and the apocalyptic climate change induced heat waves would still be a problem.

penny-anna

If someone's response to 'this country is having 30c heat waves, which is extremely hot relative to the usual climate in the region' is 'umm but 30c is barely even hot' they have a tiny child's understanding of how the world works.

penny-anna

I said this last year but saying that people are freaking out about 'normal summer weather' is climate change denial 👍

clothonono

not dying a hero or living long enough to become the villain but a secret third thing (diminish, go into the West, and remain Galadriel)

perriaeyjeve

lateghost

Yes Shane and Ilya going to Ottawa to the worst ranked team in the league is compelling, but what about Shane and Ilya becoming founding players of the somehow newly reinstated Quebec Nordiques?

Imagine, how better to make Montreal pay than to steal away half the damn province's hockey fans from them by building a new legacy from a name that is still today well beloved?

The absolute bomb it would unleash into the hockey world for that historic team everyone gave up on ever being revived but every Quebecer hockey fan still thinks on fondly would switch the narrative around them so completely. Instead of being outed and having to switch to the worst team in the league to play together and not get hatecrimed, they're suddenly the superstar patriarchs of the new generation of Nordiques and getting a team custom built specifically to support them. It would be fucking historical.