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@canageek
Sitting here doing semantic backflips while discussing popular Jesus-related heresies because I refuse to dignify the word "Christology".
Ok, but on the plus side, that sounds like you are keeping Christians in a tiny jar and looking at them under a microscope.
Untwisting your tropes by making a video game about a quiet kid with an ugly shirt and a worrying preoccupation with knives who actually has nothing wrong with them at all.
I'm now *really* wanting a video game with a 2002 webcomic aesthetic where the main character is a guy called Seth or Cain who loves knives and actually has nothing wrong with him.
That might be because most of the comics I read back then ended before they could reveal any dark secrets....
Over the last five years, there's been this big anti-trust lawsuit in Canada regarding price-fixing of packaged bread during the twenty-year period spanning 2001 through 2021, eventually resulting in a settlement of five hundred million dollars.
Today I received my share of that settlement: forty-nine dollars and eleven cents.
Hm.
Like, it's better than a kick in the pants, but I'm pretty sure that they made more than forty-nine dollars off of me personally in the course of rigging bread prices for twenty years straight.
It's estimated to have raised bread prices by about $1/loaf. So if you bought bread weekly for 20 years, you are out about $1040.
I am very annoyed that class action suits don't have to pay back every dollar they stole. I got like $4 for LifeLabs leaking all my personal medical data.
I think the oddest example of the "artificial super-soldier who's been deliberately engineered so that combat is a sex thing for them" trope I've ever bumped into is a comic I read back in the 1990s that I've never been able to locate again about a protagonist who'd been cursed to serve as a human siege engine. They looked totally normal, but could never have any kind of regular sex because having an orgasm caused a city-busting blast of arcane energy to shoot out of their penis. Imagine being a combat engineer in that universe. Like, suit up, it's time to jerk off the trebuchet.
#...how has 40k not done this yet #this would make complete sense for a slaaneshi chaos warrior lol #wh40k (via @fandom-geek)
Warhammer 40K hasn't done this because the central creative project of 40K as a franchise is to take the most bizarre excesses of male homoeroticism its writers can possibly imagine and make them boring.
(It's actually kind of impressive at times. Sometimes I'll just be squinting at the material in puzzlement like: "Okay, how on Earth did you take that premise and render it so dryly sexless? Am I being trolled? Is this a bit?")
Ian Watson didn't get this memo, and they have ensured that has never happened again.
sdxfcgvzdxfcgvhzdxfcgvhbjnkmlcgvhbjnk science
#the reason that lab safety regulations are the way they are is because literally all chemists are like this #as in 100% of them #no exceptions (via @prokopetz)
Thank goodness they didn't suck their fingers because they were hurting.
@canageek
Safety was invented in approx. 1989
A thing that bothers me about wizard schools in popular media – outside of the magic-grade-school stuff, anyway – is that they're typically depicted as being basically magic universities, but their actual curricula and pedagogical approaches look much more like those of a technical institution. Like, buddy, that's not a wizard university, that's a wizard trade school. You can't just slap university student culture on top of trade school pedagogy. It doesn't work like that – the one emerges from the other!
"Well ACTUALLY wizards are" wizards are made up. They can be analogous to whatever real-world class or vocation the author wants. Wizard-school-as-university and wizard-school-as-technical-institute are both perfectly fine; what I am grumping about is wizard-school media that doesn't seem to have a clear picture of how different sorts of educational institutions actually operate.
Okay but now I really want to know what a Wizard technician would look like. Would he wear magical overalls with all kinds of reagents and magic tools sticking out of his numerous pockets?
A guy like that walks into your tower with a toothpick in his mouth, takes one look at your summoning circle and goes
“I see yer problem. You used chalk B12 instead of S3. B12 is only for transmutation circles. Gimme a sec I think I have a piece somewhere here.”
He fixes your circle, test summons an imp and goes.
“There ya go. Fit as a fiddle.”
“It’s the chalk.”
“The chalk? I always use that chalk, it’s never been a problem.”
“Ah - yes. This stuff will work just fine for most circles, but, uh - here, take a look with my loupe. You see the off-color flecks? Can’t hardly see them with the naked eye, but those are impurities. Silicates, might even be some iron in here, to be honest. Usually won’t cause a problem, but - you said you hadn’t tried this particular summons before?”
“First time trying a 5th level, yeah.”
“Those silicates will make your scribing a little fuzzy when viewed from the astral plane. You see, for example, these three fine lines here? With this chalk, on the astral that looks like one thick line with fuzzy edges. They can’t tell exactly what you want, and they’re picky lil’ critters so they just won’t do anything in response.”
“Really? Oh. I always thought the expensive chalk was just fancy to be fancy.”
“Making pure chalk is difficult, you need a dedicated production line or dust gets in the finished product. To be honest, you don’t need to bother with it for most things, but 5th and up, 5th level and up, it actually is necessary. Anything with lines within about two millimeters of each other.”
“So I need to start over?”
“Unfortunately yes. You’ll have to erase all this, but with some good chalk it should work just fine. Next new moon your summons should go off without a hitch.”
“Dang. At least it’s not my sigils, I was worried it was my sigils.”
“Nah Your sigils look good. Even and balanced. You know what you’re doing, it’s just an equipment problem.”
“Thanks for the help, sorry to make you come all the way out here.”
“No problem! It’s my job.”
Wizard in heavily embroidered overalls, leaning on his staff as he looks around the ritual room: "It's a nice setup ya got here, ma'am. Real good vibes. So, you were trying to summon your inner demons, you said? And accidentally got one of the big fellas downstairs instead?"
Anxious looking client, poring over her personal grimoire in the hopes of finding answers: "Yes, and I was so careful with my invocations, and I spent hours on the sigils and I busted out the fancy incense and everything and I just don't know what got muddled. It's not my chalk, is it? It says it's certified on the package.."
Wizard: "Nope, your chalk's good quality, you didn't get stiffed there. Your sigils all look good too, and I read the invocations while Gary was driving us over, and they seemed perfectly appropriate. Say hello, Gary."
Gary: "Hi, I'm on a work placement, so I'm shadowing him."
Wizard: "Alright, kid, what's rule number one?"
Gary: "Double check everything. You've gone over the invocations, we've both seen the circle and the materials, there was nothing in the stars last night that ought to have interfered... I'm not sure, honestly. This ritual should have worked."
Wizard: "Uh huh, it's a competently put together rite. So why didn't it work?"
Gary: "Uhhhhhhh... ma'am? Are you currently or have you ever been haunted, or perhaps impugned the Good Neighbours?"
Client: "Not to my knowledge, no."
Wizard: "Good instinct, but here's rule number two for ya, kid. Never assume an otherworldly vendetta when slapdash maintenance is still on the table. Ma'am, do you rent this ritual space?"
Client: "Yes, I don't have the space for a full sanctum at home."
Wizard: "The guy you rented it from hasn't maintained the wards correctly - I assume that was part of the rental agreement?"
Client, outraged: "Yes! It was!"
Wizard, nodding sadly: "Take a look at the threshold, Gary. You see the runes on the doorjamb?"
Gary, squinting: "Uh, barely."
Wizard: "Exactly, they oughta be hummin' away in the back of your mind. But they aren't, because?"
Gary, spinning around in shock: "Oh damn! The door sticks in cold weather, right?"
Client: "Yeah.."
Gary: "The force of shoving it open has scuffed the carving of some of the runes, brought down the entire ward around the door."
Client: "Bloody fool. Why wouldn't he just carve them deeper?"
Wizard: "Easier to sand down and rent for non ritual purposes, if it comes to that. Doesn't have to replace the whole doorjamb. It can work, but you need to reinforce them with oil and blessed pigment more frequently than you would runes that were carved deep. Every two weeks instead of once a lunar month. Guy's done the bare minimum and is hoping you won't know enough to blame him when things go wrong."
Client: "That incompetent arsehole! I'll haul him in front of the Wizard's Council for this!"
Wizard: "You really should, ma'am. This could have been a lot worse than one of the fellas downstairs popping in. Unwarded portals are a magnet for unspeakable monstrosities from the Dungeon Dimensions. Trust me, once you get those guys infesting your space, you lose all your tools, the space itself and sometimes even your magical name to the purification process. Along with every other ritualist in the building, and the schmuck who caused the problem. What have we learned, Gary?"
Gary: "Double check every ward, every time you invoke?"
Wizard: "Because it only takes forgetting once for something to turn into an eldritch emergency. See, ma'am, he's a bright kid. He's gonna go far in this trade, I'm telling you. Now, let's get you sorted with the grievance forms for the Council."
I'd love to see some statistics on which tabletop RPG has the highest "mechanical complexity in character creation" to "(lack of) engagement with the outputs of those character creation mechanics during actual play" ratio. I refuse to believe Dungeons & Dragons is the even close to the worst in this regard.
A lot of people saying Rifts and while I agree that the old palladium game had complex characters, those were all things that got used in the game (source: I ran a campaign). The new Rifts frameworks that sit on top of savage worlds are also complicated but also get used.
The question was: What is the most complicated and unused rules on a character sheet. But it sounds like everyone read the first part without considering the full and actual sentence.
Not necessarily "unused rules", no; we're talking about games which have very complex procedures for character creation, such that the greater part of the outputs of those procedures are rarely relevant in play. For example, Traveller probably doesn't qualify; while its character creation procedure demands a lot of effort relative to what you get out of it, those outputs are consistently relevant in play.
(I think the bigger issue is that the greater part of the responses are clearly operating on vibes and reputation and have no idea how relatively complex the character creation procedures of the games they're name-checking actually are. No, FATAL is not the top end of the scale in terms of complex character creation procedures – not even close. It doesn't even ask you to derive cube roots!)
I mean, while FATAL might not be near the top in terms of complexity, it might win on ratio! There is a *lot* of work you to for things like most advanced type of math you can do and average syllables per minute that are not going to come up in play.
All video game announcement trailers should consist of an uninterrupted, commentary-free demonstration of the first five minutes of play starting from launch. If this proves unreasonable because no part of the first five minutes from launch is meaningfully interactive, all copies of the source code will be shot into the Sun.
@dualityofcat replied:
i was thinking that it might be a big ask development-wise
Under present development practices, sure, but the fact that the big advertising push for many games begins so early in development that they don't even have a playable prototype to show is one of the problems I'm gesturing at. A lot of studios – and not just the triple-As, either – have a long history of exploiting the fact that games are expected to evolve during development to engage in what amounts to false advertising, whether it's as relatively innocuous as a specific feature that was heavily hyped in the promotional material being cut from the published game, or as egregious as the game that was advertised not even occupying the same genre as the game that was actually sold.
I agree with the general point, however it also made me think about some games, especially AAA RPGs and such, put a LOT into the first bit of the game so that games journalists praise it and trailers and such will look great, showing off the first bit. My Example would be fallout 4. I enjoyed the start, the lore, and the first bit of combat and such. But it very quickly became incredibly boring to me and the story and character interactions did not feel good whatsoever.
Oh, yeah, double-A and triple-A games where the production values take a sudden dive the moment you get past the bit of the game that was included in the demo (or the part that people are likely to play on the in-store kiosk, back when those were still a thing) is a problem that's nearly as old as the medium; I can think of any number of NES games where some notable-for-the-time piece of graphical trickery appears solely in the game's opening stage, and if we're restricting our consideration to RPGs with PC versions, Septerra Core was an infamous case back in the day. That's not something you can address with more honest trailer design, though; getting a holistic picture of a game's production values is beyond the scope of a trailer of any reasonable length.
My solution for this is that you have to show five minutes of gameplay from about the one hour mark.
That way you aren't showing the opening of the game, which often has different gameplay from the meat of the game due to tutorials and not all the mechanics being unlocked yet.
Upon reflection, the tendency of Dracula adaptations to treat Jonathan as a bit character is probably inextricable from their tendency to treat the episodes concerning his time in Castle Dracula as a fairly tedious piece of exposition to a story which truly begins with Dracula's arrival in London.
I know this is blasphemy, but I feel like Dracula is the one novel that might actually benefit from being split into multiple films. Do an intimate bottle-episode psychological horror piece covering Jonathan's confinement to and eventual escape from Dracula's castle, so in the next movie we actually have proper context for his whole... everything.
Critically, I feel like it would need to be a pair of films rather than a miniseries because a. as series you'd have to awkwardly work around the fact that most of the billed cast just plain don't appear in the front half of the episode list, and b. a big ominous "To Be Continued" title drop when Jonathan finally escapes followed by making the audience wait a year for the continuation would do fun things to the fandom.
I think they are already filming (or have made?) a movie that is just the Demeter section, so you could slot that into the middle if you wanted. I know we don't find out about that until later in the book, but it does fit between your two proposed movies chronologically.
There are two unrelated metroidvanias based on the classic Little Nemo comics coming out this year, which feels like kind of an obvious cut – of course you'd adapt Little Nemo as a metroidvania, if you were going to adapt it as anything – but it got me thinking: what would be the least suitable public domain media to give the metroidvania treatment?
I feel like a lot of folks in the note are interpreting "worst" to mean "most difficult to justify the protagonist actually going anywhere or doing anything", but that just militates against video game adaptations in general, not against metroidvanias in particular. We can do a lot worse.
In Flanders Fields by John McCrae, the 1917 poem.
It is set in WW1, so there is lots of reasons for people to go places and do things, but it is a poem and the grim reality of a WW1 trench isn't exactly what I'd reach to a Metroidvania for.
I was giving my sister a ride back from the mall today and she said that drone kink was "cringe" and that people just "just have sex with each other"
and you know, it's amazing how someone I love, someone so very important to me, can be so fundamentally wrong on some subjects.
Honestly I only have two complaints about the whole Drone kink thing
I'm allergic to latex, so even if I was into it, I'm medically disallowed
their love of being numbers instead of having names conflicts with my love of The Prisoner
As I understand it, latex allergies are usually only to natural rubber latex, you can get synthetic latex that doesn't have the allergen in it. (Costs WAY more though, I've only seen it in a couple of products)
Is there a reason you couldn't make a drone suit out of nitrile? (We give our students nitrile gloves, since they don't cause allergies in the same way latex does. It doesn't stretch as much, so I find them less comfy, but they work (and protect against most organic solvents better)
Problem: Major social media platforms have established an expectation that signing up for a free account should come with literally unlimited media hosting (i.e., in the sense that individual posts may cap the size of the media attachments, but there's no overall limit on how much media a given account can upload), which has rendered it impossible in practice for anyone to compete with them without resorting to venture capital because media hosting at scale is absurdly expensive.
Proposed Solution: Tumblr-like platform which has no media hosting whatsoever, but offers ridiculously comprehensive formatting options for text posts. Basically the entire post-CSS3 standard is fair game. This would be 100% technically feasible and cause no problems whatsoever.
Ok, but even better: Every post is written in LaTeX, so we finally get a social network with nicely justified text and kerning?
terrible idea: a game that implements Trespasser's "look down at your breasts to see your health" mechanic, but your character is transfem and you increase your health bar by taking prog, increasing your breastsize and health at the same time
Trespasser was trying to not have a HUD, so the way you checked your health in-game was to look down at your character's breasts:
And the state of that tattoo on the left was your character's health.
On a scale of Trespasser to Resident Evil 4 VR, how much of a help/hindrance does your game make having breasts feel?
honestly that's one of the funniest bugs in all of video gaming
You can't reach your chest-items because the game expects you to be able to put a hand against your flat chest, and if you've got large enough breasts that's literally impossible.
The easy fix is to give all VR protagonists massive boobs, that way no matter how big your irl boobs are you can reach the ammo pack on the vr big titty chest harness
my god, you're brilliant. you should be elected CEO of Virtual Reality Games
You would give SO many cis guys dysphoria.
I'm not kidding, I think it was the Warhammer VR game where you play a sister of battle, and I was watching a youtube video about it and the guy was talking about his experience playing and I"m listening like "I recognize those reactions. That is gender dysphoria, you had gender disphoria when you looked down in VR and saw breasts as you are a guy"
That so many gags in Shakespeare are pop culture references to Elizabethan lost media is a sobering thought. Imagine being so widely read that the greatest playwrights of your day are memeing on you, then five hundred years later the only surviving reference to your work is a single dick joke in a play where an elf tries to fuck a donkey.
Favorite system to make a character for?
Anything with a random mutation table!
Are you familar with deadEarth? It has the most wacky, unbalanced, likely to kill you random mutation tables I've ever heard of in an RPG.
Back in the day RPG.net had a lot of fun with it, though they misunderstood a few rules; the creator showed up near the end of the thread to clarify things.
It is long out of print, and the website is now gone, but before taking it offline the creator gave permission for people to pass it around as long as you don't make money off it, and Dyson Logos has preserved it (and expand on it!)
Every time I joke about most people who "only listen to video game music" being instrumental jazz fans who don't know it, I get somebody in the notes going "what if I only listen to Super Mario soundtracks – what non-video-game genre of music is that referencing, buddy?", and, well, I'm afraid the answer is still instrumental jazz.
"Okay, but what if I only listen to Mega Man soundtracks" well, there's a fair bit of classic prog rock influence in there (hence the other half of the joke), but would it surprise you to learn a large chunk of the answer is "also instrumental jazz"?
i definitely think minecraft won't be the game for everyone in the end and that's just how things are no problem but i do think *some* people who don't get the hype of it just need to play with their friends and build a house with them. its also for doing things like this.
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whatever i guess nobody've read that so imma just drop the screenshots
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