Untitled

I’m like a tumbleweed, a rolling stone. Or a freight train that can’t stay on the tracks, and it’s like, going off a cliff with like 250 passengers on board. And a lot of them die on impact, but there’s like, 10 that survive, and they’re trapped. And there’s this one guy, he’s so in shock, he’s just…laughing maniacally. And the flames are closing in, and everyone’s like, sobbing and holding each other, but it’s the laughter that’s the most disturbing thing of all. And there’s this one lady…and her eye is just like, out.

[infectiouspiss]

the g spot is inside the stab wound

[catchymemes]

[clusterbuck]

i don’t need a “day off” or a “weekend” i need to respawn in a clean apartment with all my responsibilities reset and the complete certainty that nobody hates me

[kaijuno]

[huge-tromboner]

War and hate on the planet earth

[oofmybad]

[mitchipedia]

[halondrus]

I CANNOT GET THIS VIDEO OUT OF MY FUCKING HEAD. HUNGRY HUNGRY PIZZA FOR ME. MY HUNGRY ASS WILL EAT JUST ABOUT ANYTHING!

[sportsnight-deactivated20201211]

[everybodyloveshippos]

the heart shaped locket with a portrait of my nemesis inside stays ON during sex

[transmortifried]

idk why people are still trying to do "hear me out"s on tumblr

you could talk about wanting to fuck the space needle on here and people would still call you a poser for insisting on fucking "conventionally attractive architecture" as if that's a coherent, easily-recognizable category

[datafags]

Which is more fuckable?

Space Needle

Habitat 67

I'm a coward (see results)

Voting ended onMay 19, 2025

[happyotherbeing]

I want to know how people think habitat 67 is more fuckable??

[what-even-is-thiss]

Personality, obviously.

[schifty-al]

Some people prefer aesthetics of yonic structures over phallic structures

[what-even-is-thiss]

I’ve never seen a penis shaped like that before

[obeliskthetormentorsfeetpics]

but youve seen a pussy shaped like habitat 67?

[what-even-is-thiss]

You don’t know my life

[selfship-quotes]

I love soulmates but also this-

[huffylemon]

[triviallytrue]

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

[friendshapedhole]

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

[triviallytrue]

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

[max1461]

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

[triviallytrue]

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

[ghostpalmtechnique]

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

[triviallytrue]

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

[notwiselybuttoowell]

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

[nightingalesoul]

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

[bermuda-n-drangle]

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

[goldcrescent]

be soft

but be ready

[aletheiawriting]

My only real and valid writing tip is that you google every word you make up for your fantasy stories. That's It

[pacmastermeow]

there won't be any results though because you just made it up

[wizardpotions]

[oranaro-deactivated20241016]

One time I made up a name for a character and after googling it discovered it was a Zimbabwean slur

[florencescentadolescent]

the camera person NEEDS a raise

on my knees

[yaoiblackmold]

So many of the pop girls want to be Lana del rey so badly but they can never quite copy her vibes because they do not have the amount of internalised misogyny that lana has which is required to write like an aging divorced white man who's poetry is mainly about his divorced bitch wife written from the perspective of the wife

[firstfullmoon]

Oliver Baez Bendorf, “Everything All at Once”