the g spot is inside the stab wound
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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Misplaced Lens Cap
YOU ARE THE REASON
will byers stan first human second
Today's Document

if i look back, i am lost
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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@canni-bitch
the g spot is inside the stab wound
i don’t need a “day off” or a “weekend” i need to respawn in a clean apartment with all my responsibilities reset and the complete certainty that nobody hates me
War and hate on the planet earth
I CANNOT GET THIS VIDEO OUT OF MY FUCKING HEAD. HUNGRY HUNGRY PIZZA FOR ME. MY HUNGRY ASS WILL EAT JUST ABOUT ANYTHING!
the heart shaped locket with a portrait of my nemesis inside stays ON during sex
idk why people are still trying to do "hear me out"s on tumblr
you could talk about wanting to fuck the space needle on here and people would still call you a poser for insisting on fucking "conventionally attractive architecture" as if that's a coherent, easily-recognizable category
Which is more fuckable?
Space Needle
Habitat 67
I'm a coward (see results)
I want to know how people think habitat 67 is more fuckable??
Personality, obviously.
Some people prefer aesthetics of yonic structures over phallic structures
I’ve never seen a penis shaped like that before
but youve seen a pussy shaped like habitat 67?
You don’t know my life
I love soulmates but also this-
aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall
Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.
Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him
This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.
Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.
It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance
They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.
if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes
Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.
Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.
this is too good to leave hidden in the replies
fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard
be soft
but be ready
My only real and valid writing tip is that you google every word you make up for your fantasy stories. That's It
there won't be any results though because you just made it up
One time I made up a name for a character and after googling it discovered it was a Zimbabwean slur
the camera person NEEDS a raise
on my knees
So many of the pop girls want to be Lana del rey so badly but they can never quite copy her vibes because they do not have the amount of internalised misogyny that lana has which is required to write like an aging divorced white man who's poetry is mainly about his divorced bitch wife written from the perspective of the wife
Oliver Baez Bendorf, “Everything All at Once”